Dear Beowulf,
I am deeply disappointed in you, Beowulf. You were supposed to be a badass hero, but instead you just came off looking like a whiney wimp who wants to be king.
Granted, your fight scenes were freaking awesome, and I can only respect a man that's willing to cut off his own arm in an attempt to grab a dragons heart and literally pull it out of it's chest. However, when that dragon is his own kid that he had with the mother of some freakish undead inside-out creature, the awe I have is significantly less.
There is no possible reason that you'd need to get some sea-witch's help in order to become king either. Do you have such a tiny amount of confidence in your own skills as a king and ruler that you need some help from a demon/devil/troll/Angelina Jolie? Seriously Beowulf, I am deeply disappointed in you.
And what, pray tell, happened to the glorious fight scene with you and the still-nameless Grendel's Mother in question? Wasn't there supposed to be a sword that you chopped her head off with? I mean, it's one thing to ACT like you're going to succumb to the wiles of this foul temptress, but it's another to ACTUALLY go through with it. I mean GIANT SWORD. RIGHT THERE. KILL HER. Seriously.
As a matter of fact, that scene was what stayed with me the most in my reading of the narrative which bears your name. I had imagined, although the water-witch seemed an insurmountable challenge, you would be the one to defeat her. She'd try to seduce you with power, but you'd ignore her, taking your sword and slashing it against her neck. The sword would dissolve against her golden flesh, but that would not deter you. Even when she changes into a huge monster, you would not be denied your victory. You would rip that giant sword off the wall, despite that it was screwed into it. You would take it by the hilt, with no regard to it's attachments, and bits of steel and stone would go flying everywhere, onto both Grendel's mother and yourself. Then, with that huge, broken sword, still sharp despite the years it spent in that evil cave, you would plunge it into her heart. And as she dissolved, like your sword did before, you would stand over her, victorious.
That is how I imagined it Beowulf. You, being the badass that you are, truly.
You also, I noticed, were not eighty years old when you fought that dragon. You're really hurting me here, Beo. It was what made you even more awesome that you were able to kill huge monsters that struck fear into young men's hearts when you were an old man.
So thanks, Beo. Way to ruin a poor girl's hopes and dreams of being a total badass when she's eighty years old.
Send my regards to Weatho, you queen-stealing scum.
<3 Azkun
Granted, your fight scenes were freaking awesome, and I can only respect a man that's willing to cut off his own arm in an attempt to grab a dragons heart and literally pull it out of it's chest. However, when that dragon is his own kid that he had with the mother of some freakish undead inside-out creature, the awe I have is significantly less.
There is no possible reason that you'd need to get some sea-witch's help in order to become king either. Do you have such a tiny amount of confidence in your own skills as a king and ruler that you need some help from a demon/devil/troll/Angelina Jolie? Seriously Beowulf, I am deeply disappointed in you.
And what, pray tell, happened to the glorious fight scene with you and the still-nameless Grendel's Mother in question? Wasn't there supposed to be a sword that you chopped her head off with? I mean, it's one thing to ACT like you're going to succumb to the wiles of this foul temptress, but it's another to ACTUALLY go through with it. I mean GIANT SWORD. RIGHT THERE. KILL HER. Seriously.
As a matter of fact, that scene was what stayed with me the most in my reading of the narrative which bears your name. I had imagined, although the water-witch seemed an insurmountable challenge, you would be the one to defeat her. She'd try to seduce you with power, but you'd ignore her, taking your sword and slashing it against her neck. The sword would dissolve against her golden flesh, but that would not deter you. Even when she changes into a huge monster, you would not be denied your victory. You would rip that giant sword off the wall, despite that it was screwed into it. You would take it by the hilt, with no regard to it's attachments, and bits of steel and stone would go flying everywhere, onto both Grendel's mother and yourself. Then, with that huge, broken sword, still sharp despite the years it spent in that evil cave, you would plunge it into her heart. And as she dissolved, like your sword did before, you would stand over her, victorious.
That is how I imagined it Beowulf. You, being the badass that you are, truly.
You also, I noticed, were not eighty years old when you fought that dragon. You're really hurting me here, Beo. It was what made you even more awesome that you were able to kill huge monsters that struck fear into young men's hearts when you were an old man.
So thanks, Beo. Way to ruin a poor girl's hopes and dreams of being a total badass when she's eighty years old.
Send my regards to Weatho, you queen-stealing scum.
<3 Azkun