More Travel Trauma.
So, Today I wake up - shower, go about my daily business ... Then my mom comes into my room and we discuss the day. Soon she's telling me I dont have the funds to go to Japan. Then she's telling me she wont let me leave the country if I only have enough money for my plane ticket. EVEN though Mayuki has repeatedly said that if that's the case she'll spring for my needs upon my arrival until i get settled into my job over there. In fact, she's insisted upon it if it'll make the difference between me going or not.
So mom goes upstairs, and i'm in shock in my room - having been told up to THIS point that she would help me with payments, etc. That we could put the airplane ticket on her credit card and I would pay her back as I earn the money. Now things feel like they're falling apart.
15 minutes later - mom comes back downstairs, knocks on the door. I've been crying - she says she wants to talk to me about the trip stuff in the end bedroom. I tell her to give me a few minutes. She rolls her eyes and leaves... waiting.
I get ready, knowing this isn't going to be pretty - and go to the end bedroom. I get an earful about how bad finances are around the house. I *KNOW* this. I've been *TOLD* this a million times. Its why i've said over and over and over again that I was going to be earning money for this trip to japan. That I DONT want mom/dad to spend their hard earned money helping me do this. I am told that even if I dont know it - i'd be accruing expenses that they would have to pay. I'm paying for my Visa, I've paid for my passport, and I'm making money to pay for my plane ticket. expenses in Japan would be paid for by mayuki and then I would take it over after starting my job teaching elementary school kids.
So i start feeling guilty. I've been buying groceries for myself, clothing for myself - its been eating into my savings. But I'm getting absolutely *NO* help from my parents whatsoever. They're making a point of giving me a pretty harsh reality check... then turning around, saying that they'll help (this is all coming from mom, btw) ... then turning again, saying they wont help - then all that money I've spent on groceries for the HOUSE and stuff for around here goes *poof*, and i'm not saving enough. and then its my fault that SOMEwhere down the line they're going to have to spend something to help me out.
On top of that, I get another earful about how there's going to be some sum of money coming to them from my grandpa.. and how they were planning on stowing that away. Yeah, I've heard about that before, and NEVER EVER would want them to spend any of that on me. Its their retirement cash. Mom starts going on about how now they're going to have to use it on other things (insinuating all the while that its because of my trip and not because of other things going on - like sister's health, my health, etc. etc.)
I KNOW that i've had it easy financially most of my life. But I've always been aware of money given and dislike being dependant on people.
So I dont even feel worthy of a trip to Japan anymore. I almost wish I had never brought it up in the first place. and I certainly dont feel like this trip is going to happen anymore.
I HATE THIS
So mom goes upstairs, and i'm in shock in my room - having been told up to THIS point that she would help me with payments, etc. That we could put the airplane ticket on her credit card and I would pay her back as I earn the money. Now things feel like they're falling apart.
15 minutes later - mom comes back downstairs, knocks on the door. I've been crying - she says she wants to talk to me about the trip stuff in the end bedroom. I tell her to give me a few minutes. She rolls her eyes and leaves... waiting.
I get ready, knowing this isn't going to be pretty - and go to the end bedroom. I get an earful about how bad finances are around the house. I *KNOW* this. I've been *TOLD* this a million times. Its why i've said over and over and over again that I was going to be earning money for this trip to japan. That I DONT want mom/dad to spend their hard earned money helping me do this. I am told that even if I dont know it - i'd be accruing expenses that they would have to pay. I'm paying for my Visa, I've paid for my passport, and I'm making money to pay for my plane ticket. expenses in Japan would be paid for by mayuki and then I would take it over after starting my job teaching elementary school kids.
So i start feeling guilty. I've been buying groceries for myself, clothing for myself - its been eating into my savings. But I'm getting absolutely *NO* help from my parents whatsoever. They're making a point of giving me a pretty harsh reality check... then turning around, saying that they'll help (this is all coming from mom, btw) ... then turning again, saying they wont help - then all that money I've spent on groceries for the HOUSE and stuff for around here goes *poof*, and i'm not saving enough. and then its my fault that SOMEwhere down the line they're going to have to spend something to help me out.
On top of that, I get another earful about how there's going to be some sum of money coming to them from my grandpa.. and how they were planning on stowing that away. Yeah, I've heard about that before, and NEVER EVER would want them to spend any of that on me. Its their retirement cash. Mom starts going on about how now they're going to have to use it on other things (insinuating all the while that its because of my trip and not because of other things going on - like sister's health, my health, etc. etc.)
I KNOW that i've had it easy financially most of my life. But I've always been aware of money given and dislike being dependant on people.
So I dont even feel worthy of a trip to Japan anymore. I almost wish I had never brought it up in the first place. and I certainly dont feel like this trip is going to happen anymore.
I HATE THIS