The TRUTH HurtS... Just Alittle
So reality has STRUCK once again!
This time it's not so DEPRESSING!?!?!?! it's kind of... reassuring?!?!?
I've been sober for two dayz(from weed and what not)!@! It's an extreamlly awesome thing... FOR the most part!
Today all I could think about was you... I was listening to muzic WHILE i was AT work! I was going to make a CD with all these wonderful songs... I'm kinda glad I didn't!!!
You're right... depending on something to make yourself happy isn't real!@! But if Something HELPS, is it a bad thing?!?!?
I've realized that no matter what you do in life, you'll never be happy unless you're happy with yourself... I agree we've been smoking too much, but doesn't it seem like you are more productive in the journey to making yourself happy now, then u were before?
It's happened before with us... and it's happened between myself and many of the people i hold dearest to me... I knew this was bound to happen again... But it hurts SO MUCH to see those eyes.
WAS IT FAKE?!?!? the happiness i felt 7 days ago? I definatley don't think so, that was almost the purest of happy i've ever felt.
NO women u sleep with will ever love you as much as your mom was supose to... and I, as a MAN would NEVER hurt you.
DON'T WORRY it's not like i worry about you everyday. I don't think words could express how much I do LOVE YOU! the perfect relationship... NO SEX!!! But there's everything ELSE! I would DIE FOR YOU; WOULD SHE?
i didn't know how to say this to you to your face... yeh so i'm a chicken SHIT! I know that I don't have everything figured out, i know i'm not even close... BUT i do know that i would never purposly hurt you or bring you in HARMS WAY!
It made me SAD to see you like this tonight... I really didn't want to SMOKE, that was the last thing on my mind... I just wanted to hang out with you and have fun, i didn't realized though that just being able to chill and lay back and spend sober time with your friends was going to be so dificult!
I really actually thought you were my soul mate... but once again i've contridicted myself... I know now that I AM the only person that can make myself happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess there's nothing I can DO or SAY... I just needed to vent... If anything I want you to know that I LOVE YOU with ALL my heart... and I'm ALWAYZ here for you... and THANK YOU for making my life a little easier to live!
Once you get things figured out and if you REALLY want a friend i'm here... like i've alwayz been... I just want you to be happy, for serious... Just Watch out for yourself, I know you... I'm sorry I can't be the person you need right now.
Mr. T
**************************
Hey all... this is my last post for awhile, if not forever. I need to get my life together... there's just too little going on in my life, so there's really nothing to post about... you know? I feel like I'm Hiding behind this keyboard... i'm so comfortable here that i forgot REALITY would like some action. Maybe i'll find what i'm looking for! I really Wish the BEST for you ALL!@!@!
*LUVS* alwayz N 4eVer,
tRooCie BABY!
This time it's not so DEPRESSING!?!?!?! it's kind of... reassuring?!?!?
I've been sober for two dayz(from weed and what not)!@! It's an extreamlly awesome thing... FOR the most part!
Today all I could think about was you... I was listening to muzic WHILE i was AT work! I was going to make a CD with all these wonderful songs... I'm kinda glad I didn't!!!
You're right... depending on something to make yourself happy isn't real!@! But if Something HELPS, is it a bad thing?!?!?
I've realized that no matter what you do in life, you'll never be happy unless you're happy with yourself... I agree we've been smoking too much, but doesn't it seem like you are more productive in the journey to making yourself happy now, then u were before?
It's happened before with us... and it's happened between myself and many of the people i hold dearest to me... I knew this was bound to happen again... But it hurts SO MUCH to see those eyes.
WAS IT FAKE?!?!? the happiness i felt 7 days ago? I definatley don't think so, that was almost the purest of happy i've ever felt.
NO women u sleep with will ever love you as much as your mom was supose to... and I, as a MAN would NEVER hurt you.
DON'T WORRY it's not like i worry about you everyday. I don't think words could express how much I do LOVE YOU! the perfect relationship... NO SEX!!! But there's everything ELSE! I would DIE FOR YOU; WOULD SHE?
i didn't know how to say this to you to your face... yeh so i'm a chicken SHIT! I know that I don't have everything figured out, i know i'm not even close... BUT i do know that i would never purposly hurt you or bring you in HARMS WAY!
It made me SAD to see you like this tonight... I really didn't want to SMOKE, that was the last thing on my mind... I just wanted to hang out with you and have fun, i didn't realized though that just being able to chill and lay back and spend sober time with your friends was going to be so dificult!
I really actually thought you were my soul mate... but once again i've contridicted myself... I know now that I AM the only person that can make myself happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess there's nothing I can DO or SAY... I just needed to vent... If anything I want you to know that I LOVE YOU with ALL my heart... and I'm ALWAYZ here for you... and THANK YOU for making my life a little easier to live!
Once you get things figured out and if you REALLY want a friend i'm here... like i've alwayz been... I just want you to be happy, for serious... Just Watch out for yourself, I know you... I'm sorry I can't be the person you need right now.
Mr. T
**************************
Hey all... this is my last post for awhile, if not forever. I need to get my life together... there's just too little going on in my life, so there's really nothing to post about... you know? I feel like I'm Hiding behind this keyboard... i'm so comfortable here that i forgot REALITY would like some action. Maybe i'll find what i'm looking for! I really Wish the BEST for you ALL!@!@!
*LUVS* alwayz N 4eVer,
tRooCie BABY!