(no subject)
Hands up who believes in love.
I mean, I believe in friendship, even if it causes me so much angst alot of the time cos i just dont understand it. The love we have for the random people in our life. And I believe in the love parents have for their children, inbred from prehistoric times for the survival of the race. And of course children loving their parents for a similar but more complex reason. And siblings, I dunno what that is. Similar, extension of blood line, that sort of thing? God, how synical.
One day I'm sure I'll fall in love with someone who is in love with me back. It's... almost unbareable to think and/or to know that the object of our love, has those same feelings for someone else. Like, they want the things you want, presumably, love and sex and friendship all in the same person, but the person they want these things with isn't you. That's just... worse than... so much worse than anything.
I used to day dream about Me and Michael from the pizza shop buying a house together, and having babies together, and sitting on the beach together watching the kids in the sand. I used to feel so angry at people who were with the person they love, cos they reckon they've never felt anything like it. But I dont believe that another person's feelings for me has any baring on how i feel about them. I mean, sure, it hurt like hell that he didn't love me in that way, so the feelings i had were always accompanied with regret and longing and general depression. But that didn't mean I didn't love him and wasn't in love with him.
One day, I will have that. All the feelings of heaven that we have when we love so hard, accompanied with the feelings of bliss we have when we are loved too.
One day.
In other news, I feel so bad for laughing about this, but the work experience chick starting here on Monday, her last name is Wang. Oh... not one of the males in the office have heard the word 'wang' in place of 'boy bits' or whaever. Must be a young person thing. But my god, it's so funny, and i'm just evil!