the art of mess
Good evening
i am covered in paint, sitting here tired after a very full day of work and thought i would pause before running of to fighter practice. things on my mind... going back home...to smithers next week. I'm caught up in this unique tension of excitement and dread.. i know why i left smithers and why i could never go back to live there.. and yet i get this weird sentimentality and curiosity at the thought of returning. i'll be killing two birds with one stone too.. i've been craving a chance to get out and just drive somewhere. This should sait that.. Jan is lending me her truck so i can go... I'm torn as to whether it is a good or a bad thing that i will have company.. in some ways i just want to be by myself... crank the music.. watch the road fly by me.. and on the other having a navigator and company could be good to. that is if jem and heather still join me.
did i mention that i can not believe that Candice is getting married!! I look at where i am in my life right now... working two jobs..trying to get my art career off the ground.. trying to somewhat enjoy my youth while it's still here.. makes me almost feel lost...no... makes me feel..well, like sitting back and taking a look at my goal for the near future. certainly not marriage in my near future...hm...this is turning out to be a long entry and my nose just started bleeding...Damn it
i am covered in paint, sitting here tired after a very full day of work and thought i would pause before running of to fighter practice. things on my mind... going back home...to smithers next week. I'm caught up in this unique tension of excitement and dread.. i know why i left smithers and why i could never go back to live there.. and yet i get this weird sentimentality and curiosity at the thought of returning. i'll be killing two birds with one stone too.. i've been craving a chance to get out and just drive somewhere. This should sait that.. Jan is lending me her truck so i can go... I'm torn as to whether it is a good or a bad thing that i will have company.. in some ways i just want to be by myself... crank the music.. watch the road fly by me.. and on the other having a navigator and company could be good to. that is if jem and heather still join me.
did i mention that i can not believe that Candice is getting married!! I look at where i am in my life right now... working two jobs..trying to get my art career off the ground.. trying to somewhat enjoy my youth while it's still here.. makes me almost feel lost...no... makes me feel..well, like sitting back and taking a look at my goal for the near future. certainly not marriage in my near future...hm...this is turning out to be a long entry and my nose just started bleeding...Damn it