The Family Teeth
Gather round, children, for I have a strange tale to tell...
Several months ago, I went on a trip to Palm Springs to visit my grandmother, accompanied by my mother and David. I stayed only a week, but my mother stayed on for a further week and a half. During this time, she and my grandmother went to check her [my grandmother's] safety deposit box, since she hadn't done so in a long time, and couldn't remember what was in it.
As it turned out, what was in it was teeth. Human teeth. One mouth's-worth of gold and gold-filled teeth, and a little baggie of gold fillings. And she can't remember whose they are.
"They must have been your father's", she said. "No", my mom replied, "I'm pretty sure he had all his teeth."
My mother decided to bring the teeth back with her to Canada, partly just to see what customs would say. Once in a while, my mother displays a sordid sense of humour that makes me proud. Reportedly, customs disobligingly failed even to notice.
Last weekend, my mother finally got around to mentioning all this to me. I asked her what she intended to do with the teeth. "Eventually I'll have them melted down", she said. "But first, I'd like to take some pictures of them." At this, she disappeared into the house for a moment, and then reappeared carrying an armload of the various animal bones we've collected on our hiking trips over the years. "Would you mind arranging these with the teeth for me, in an artistic spread?", she asked. I humbly accepted, as did my step-brother-in-law Mark, who was also present. I should add that Mark is a brilliant scholar of religious history, and is possessed of a sense of humour as weird as mine.
I don't think the results were quite what mom was expecting, but they're what she got.
While Mark and I were in the middle of assembling our creation, my sister woke up and stepped out onto the balcony with a cup of tea. She blinked a few times, said "I don't know what's going on out here, and I don't want to", turned around, and went back inside.
Twenty minutes later, we were finished.
NOTE: Some of these images have been lightly photoshopped. Credit for all such tinkering goes to my mother.
Several months ago, I went on a trip to Palm Springs to visit my grandmother, accompanied by my mother and David. I stayed only a week, but my mother stayed on for a further week and a half. During this time, she and my grandmother went to check her [my grandmother's] safety deposit box, since she hadn't done so in a long time, and couldn't remember what was in it.
As it turned out, what was in it was teeth. Human teeth. One mouth's-worth of gold and gold-filled teeth, and a little baggie of gold fillings. And she can't remember whose they are.
"They must have been your father's", she said. "No", my mom replied, "I'm pretty sure he had all his teeth."
My mother decided to bring the teeth back with her to Canada, partly just to see what customs would say. Once in a while, my mother displays a sordid sense of humour that makes me proud. Reportedly, customs disobligingly failed even to notice.
Last weekend, my mother finally got around to mentioning all this to me. I asked her what she intended to do with the teeth. "Eventually I'll have them melted down", she said. "But first, I'd like to take some pictures of them." At this, she disappeared into the house for a moment, and then reappeared carrying an armload of the various animal bones we've collected on our hiking trips over the years. "Would you mind arranging these with the teeth for me, in an artistic spread?", she asked. I humbly accepted, as did my step-brother-in-law Mark, who was also present. I should add that Mark is a brilliant scholar of religious history, and is possessed of a sense of humour as weird as mine.
I don't think the results were quite what mom was expecting, but they're what she got.
While Mark and I were in the middle of assembling our creation, my sister woke up and stepped out onto the balcony with a cup of tea. She blinked a few times, said "I don't know what's going on out here, and I don't want to", turned around, and went back inside.
Twenty minutes later, we were finished.
NOTE: Some of these images have been lightly photoshopped. Credit for all such tinkering goes to my mother.