"coney island roller coaster"
"ask no questions, take no side. who's to say who's right or right? who cause is braver run? still we are, have always been, will ever be, as one. what is done has been done for the best, though the mist in my eyes might suggest just a little confusion about what I lose, but if I started over, I know I would choose the same joy, the same sadness, each step of the way. that fought me, and taught me, that friends never say goodbye."
It's funny, though. Cause so many of them do. And then you look around and wonder what the hell you're doing in the midst of these strangers who don't really understand you, and whom you're not really sure you want to have understand. What is it about being a little bit lonely that makes one feel completely abandoned?
How pathetic.
My poor reader.
"the snow is more lonely than cold if you know what I mean"
i miss not being alone, miss having a spare minute and instantly thinking of half a dozen people whom I could call. How long, how long?
No one I talk to who really understands, who knows how far I've come...
No one to hold me.
I laugh.
I cry.
I
alone.
I want a different pronoun, but I will not resort to third person just because I cannot use 'we' or 'us'. I could talk to 'you', my reader, but you change so many times. You are always someone different, every moment. I think of you as someone I know, for just an entry or someone I dream of. Or some archetype or other that I seek advice from. Or God. Or myself. There is no pattern in how I speak to you, my reader. I am not even so self-controlled as Jane Eyre, and everyone hates that book. I don't, but I'm strange that way. "And this is how you remind me of what I really am..."
"it's not like you to say sorry..."
But i say it all the time.
And mean it.
and no one understands.
no one understands how deeply I mean it, no one knows why.
or maybe you do, and you just keep telling me
like the kid i wish i still was
hush
little one
crying in the dark
from shadows in her heart
and tired eyes in the morning
warn the world to stay away
cause no one else can deal with this deep wondering
such depth of understanding
such vast confusion
my archetypes bemuse me
i lose me
warrior, martyr, coquette, child
healer, killer, demure, wild
elemental, complicated, simple, joyful, bright
falling, screaming, crying, dying,
losing all my dreams.
take care, my reader.
-etc
It's funny, though. Cause so many of them do. And then you look around and wonder what the hell you're doing in the midst of these strangers who don't really understand you, and whom you're not really sure you want to have understand. What is it about being a little bit lonely that makes one feel completely abandoned?
How pathetic.
My poor reader.
"the snow is more lonely than cold if you know what I mean"
i miss not being alone, miss having a spare minute and instantly thinking of half a dozen people whom I could call. How long, how long?
No one I talk to who really understands, who knows how far I've come...
No one to hold me.
I laugh.
I cry.
I
alone.
I want a different pronoun, but I will not resort to third person just because I cannot use 'we' or 'us'. I could talk to 'you', my reader, but you change so many times. You are always someone different, every moment. I think of you as someone I know, for just an entry or someone I dream of. Or some archetype or other that I seek advice from. Or God. Or myself. There is no pattern in how I speak to you, my reader. I am not even so self-controlled as Jane Eyre, and everyone hates that book. I don't, but I'm strange that way. "And this is how you remind me of what I really am..."
"it's not like you to say sorry..."
But i say it all the time.
And mean it.
and no one understands.
no one understands how deeply I mean it, no one knows why.
or maybe you do, and you just keep telling me
like the kid i wish i still was
hush
little one
crying in the dark
from shadows in her heart
and tired eyes in the morning
warn the world to stay away
cause no one else can deal with this deep wondering
such depth of understanding
such vast confusion
my archetypes bemuse me
i lose me
warrior, martyr, coquette, child
healer, killer, demure, wild
elemental, complicated, simple, joyful, bright
falling, screaming, crying, dying,
losing all my dreams.
take care, my reader.
-etc