(Untitled)

[azhdarchidae]

[The device is attached to the trunk of a tree. An enormous beaky head swings into view, one red eye looking into the screen. The beak opens and emits a series of hoarse caws and croaks. A girl's voice sounds at the same time, only vaguely in synch with the beak's movements.]

Testing. Test-ing. Okay, you either work or you don't.

The hell is this?

Comments

[shall_yield_us]

Isn't your hide meant for a purse somewhere?

[azhdarchidae]

If so, 'fraid it's not one you'd be able to afford.

1/3

[shall_yield_us]

...oh - ?

[shall_yield_us]

My, what a pretty, poisoned beak we have.

All the better to gouge eyes out with.

[shall_yield_us]

Greeting, purse-thing, first of your kind and liege of your land! I shall keep you for my pet.

[azhdarchidae]

Yeah, I'm shaking in terror here. [She's not.]

So were you born a cartoon supervillain, or is this something you had to train for?

[shall_yield_us]

Nonsense, I've always wanted a peacock, you... you'll do formidably, once we acquaint you with one or twelve layers of aquamarine dye. And some glitter.

[azhdarchidae]

Awww, cute. But, tragically, doomed to failure. You see, I have no feathers and barely a tail to speak of, and were you to propose attaching one, I humbly suggest that you would make a far prettier peacock than I.

[shall_yield_us]

Your changes can be cosmetic or genetic, my scaly friend.

[azhdarchidae]

Not a lot of scales either, I'm afraid.

[shall_yield_us]

There's a pot, or a pan for you, if you remain this picky.

Now, your favoured colour?