Making it Happen
/tap tap….Is this thing on?
Yes yes, I know…my silence is deafening. And I keep saying, I need to blog this, I need to blog this….and I don’t.
And I want to do this grand sum up of my life, because otherwise, how do you know that the reason I’m crazily over the moon about the new fella is because I left Dave? So, that’s as good a starting place as anywhere.
I turned 40 in March…and for the previous year, I’ve known that Dave and I were not going to survive. We have radically different views on how we approach things, and a lot of this comes from a combination of how I’ve changed (losing a Dad, losing a job, losing a grandmother and how I’ve reacted to Dave not working) and how Dave has changed (pain medication has become a very serious player in his life, choices he has made that we both have paid for, and just..well…I’m done. Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, the single greatest threat to marriage? Not infidelity. Not abuse (though obviously, that’s HUGE). It’s apathy. When you simply stop caring. And that’s where I was.
So….I finally landed into a steady, though underpaying job. And my girlfriends were buying a new house, leaving their old house for rent - and I was their first choice of tenant. And so I told Dave, in the most anti-climactic way ever, that I was moving into central Phoenix. And it kind of sucked, but I did it anyway, as it was either that or one of us was going out in a body bag. (Dramatic? When are high emotions NOT dramatic?)
And one week after I turned 40, I claimed my independence. And it’s been amazing. I have an amazing family of choice that has been nothing but supportive and loving…my family of origin has been great. And I have no regrets at all.
Several few weeks ago, at my friend’s urging, I tossed my profile up on OK Cupid and met a pretty nice fella who is close to my age, smart as a whip (he teaches H.S. physics, as well as having degrees in engineering and psychology), and we have nearly identical music tastes. And he treats me like a beautiful, sexy, goddess of a woman - something my very cells has been needing….So we’ll see.
Life is interesting - but then, when is it not? Forty is treating me kindly, theater still plays a defining role in my life, and I seem to be drinking more now than I ever had….(and that’s ok, made for some interesting texting though!)
So now I’m flying solo…and I’m flying free. You know, flying high, defying gravity. (You’d never know that I almost abhor Wicked, would you?)
Yes yes, I know…my silence is deafening. And I keep saying, I need to blog this, I need to blog this….and I don’t.
And I want to do this grand sum up of my life, because otherwise, how do you know that the reason I’m crazily over the moon about the new fella is because I left Dave? So, that’s as good a starting place as anywhere.
I turned 40 in March…and for the previous year, I’ve known that Dave and I were not going to survive. We have radically different views on how we approach things, and a lot of this comes from a combination of how I’ve changed (losing a Dad, losing a job, losing a grandmother and how I’ve reacted to Dave not working) and how Dave has changed (pain medication has become a very serious player in his life, choices he has made that we both have paid for, and just..well…I’m done. Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, the single greatest threat to marriage? Not infidelity. Not abuse (though obviously, that’s HUGE). It’s apathy. When you simply stop caring. And that’s where I was.
So….I finally landed into a steady, though underpaying job. And my girlfriends were buying a new house, leaving their old house for rent - and I was their first choice of tenant. And so I told Dave, in the most anti-climactic way ever, that I was moving into central Phoenix. And it kind of sucked, but I did it anyway, as it was either that or one of us was going out in a body bag. (Dramatic? When are high emotions NOT dramatic?)
And one week after I turned 40, I claimed my independence. And it’s been amazing. I have an amazing family of choice that has been nothing but supportive and loving…my family of origin has been great. And I have no regrets at all.
Several few weeks ago, at my friend’s urging, I tossed my profile up on OK Cupid and met a pretty nice fella who is close to my age, smart as a whip (he teaches H.S. physics, as well as having degrees in engineering and psychology), and we have nearly identical music tastes. And he treats me like a beautiful, sexy, goddess of a woman - something my very cells has been needing….So we’ll see.
Life is interesting - but then, when is it not? Forty is treating me kindly, theater still plays a defining role in my life, and I seem to be drinking more now than I ever had….(and that’s ok, made for some interesting texting though!)
So now I’m flying solo…and I’m flying free. You know, flying high, defying gravity. (You’d never know that I almost abhor Wicked, would you?)