menz
So...Steve and I are coming up on our 3 year anniversary...the 21st, coincidentally, the day the world is supposed to end.Its not always been a bed of roses, rainbows and unicorns...but so far all things considered we have done amazingly well. No fights, no shouting, no name calling, no slammed doors...just occasional disagreements and some life drama which we have managed to get through with rational discussion, lots of hugs and a few tears.
I love him, I trust him, I have faith that he is a good man. He loves me he trusts me, he has faith that I am a good woman.
Yesterday I went up to see him....I dont do that very often. With the children and animals, getting away for 12 hours is often impossible. He still comes down weekends and occasionally during the week.
Anyway, I am probably making too much of this...but I had what I consider a hmmmmm moment. On his desk in his bedroom was a photo. we were getting ready for bed after a nice dinner and I spied an old pic that had been printed out on top of his stuff. I knew it was old because the paper was wrinkled and it had an old coffee stain on it. It was a pic of a young beautiful blonde in a bikini at the beach with a playful smile. On the back, written in his handwriting was a message "I want to cum a fountain 4 you" I smiled, figuring it was an old girlfreind with a youthfull message of lust and he came in a second later and I smiled again and asked him ""whos this?" Now he has seen pics of my old boyfriends and we have talked about past lovers so it never occured to me it was an issue and I certainly wasnt being accusitory or prying. He read the message he had written, got immediately flushed and nervous, I got a flash of his eyes that was like a kid being caught doing something wrong...a look I have NEVER seen him have...and he replied "I have no Idea" Now I know I caught him in a lie, he knows I caught him in a lie and I immediately did the only thing that made sense: I let him off the hook with a kiss and got ready for bed and did not mention it again.
But, I lay awake thinking about it. I am still thinking about it...obviously.
Why would he lie? Embarassement at a youthful moment of passion? The fact that whatever the situation was he left it out if full view for me to see? Someone from his past he still has deep feelings for?I dont know. And whatever it is...I truly am 99% sure he isnt cheating on me...but the quick and obvious lie left me unsettled. I have never lied to him....I never had anything to lie to him about.
Anyway....when I left this morning....I placed the pic on his computer keyboard. It will be the first thing he sees when he gets home from work. I have no plans to bring it up. He will see it....if he wants to discuss it he will. if he doesnt then that is that. But its been filed away in my man filing cabinet inside my brain for future reference if needed.
Its probably a mental much ado about nothing....but the lie is a catch. And that right there leaves me unsettled.
I love him, I trust him, I have faith that he is a good man. He loves me he trusts me, he has faith that I am a good woman.
Yesterday I went up to see him....I dont do that very often. With the children and animals, getting away for 12 hours is often impossible. He still comes down weekends and occasionally during the week.
Anyway, I am probably making too much of this...but I had what I consider a hmmmmm moment. On his desk in his bedroom was a photo. we were getting ready for bed after a nice dinner and I spied an old pic that had been printed out on top of his stuff. I knew it was old because the paper was wrinkled and it had an old coffee stain on it. It was a pic of a young beautiful blonde in a bikini at the beach with a playful smile. On the back, written in his handwriting was a message "I want to cum a fountain 4 you" I smiled, figuring it was an old girlfreind with a youthfull message of lust and he came in a second later and I smiled again and asked him ""whos this?" Now he has seen pics of my old boyfriends and we have talked about past lovers so it never occured to me it was an issue and I certainly wasnt being accusitory or prying. He read the message he had written, got immediately flushed and nervous, I got a flash of his eyes that was like a kid being caught doing something wrong...a look I have NEVER seen him have...and he replied "I have no Idea" Now I know I caught him in a lie, he knows I caught him in a lie and I immediately did the only thing that made sense: I let him off the hook with a kiss and got ready for bed and did not mention it again.
But, I lay awake thinking about it. I am still thinking about it...obviously.
Why would he lie? Embarassement at a youthful moment of passion? The fact that whatever the situation was he left it out if full view for me to see? Someone from his past he still has deep feelings for?I dont know. And whatever it is...I truly am 99% sure he isnt cheating on me...but the quick and obvious lie left me unsettled. I have never lied to him....I never had anything to lie to him about.
Anyway....when I left this morning....I placed the pic on his computer keyboard. It will be the first thing he sees when he gets home from work. I have no plans to bring it up. He will see it....if he wants to discuss it he will. if he doesnt then that is that. But its been filed away in my man filing cabinet inside my brain for future reference if needed.
Its probably a mental much ado about nothing....but the lie is a catch. And that right there leaves me unsettled.