(no subject)
Walking in no direction (frozen streets)
Numb beyond the point where I can see
I don’t recognize my own reflection
This world is foreign to me
I shout an I scream till my voice creaks an cracks an feels like shattering
I try an keep warm an stop the cold from makin my teeth chattering
Bones like glass
God I miss the past
Warm beds happy moments
Striped away from me
Ripped an torn through vivid moments of violation
I step beneath the shadows hunger towards heaven with thoughts of my own desolation
Reflect the pain inside my eyes
Till my world becomes black
Once I walk these old streets a few times I know there’s no coming back
I Slip through cracks
An hide behind golden towers that during the day become centers for professionals business an there like
But out here at night unrecognizable
I struggle to find a space
I sleep this night in-between the fire escape
I touch the letters E S C A P E
An wish I could feel them over my arms
Sweep down an overcome me no more harm
Peace at last shimmering in the distance
But Im still here
Its cold an dark im hungry
Cry but no tears come
Left alone
I wake before the morn
Before you men with wicked faces come to beat any who sleep in late
Sometimes they don’t wake
I have to find sum where safe to go in the twilight
The space between spaces
The ticks between the ticks in the clock
The ticks between tocks
I am lost
Left to slip through the cracks
Drip drop drip drop
I walk an try my best to cover my shame
Walk past normal ppl
normal ppl Walk past disgust in faces again
an they look the other way
spit sum quip about how we all look the same
This coat will never be warm enough
These shoes never durable enough to survive
An this road will never be the same
I ask two men at a bus stop for money
Inside I see I disgust them make there stomachs squirm
I smile inside i cry an quietly beg by saying please
They shout insults like a wood chipper spitting out splitters cutting over cuts that have already cut deep into me
How long have I been awake for
I stumble like I was just beaten over the head with a club
The blood drips in my eyes
They are carrying me
Liftin me so my toes no longer touch the ground that moments before I hated
Horrible things
That a lady should never speak of my mother used to say
I Have to get sum where safe
But is there even such a place
There are packs of others like myself my eyes let me see them all
Trembling like wilder beasts hiding in the fog amongst dead leaves
An darkened dirty places
Walkin every step like the thousand miles that there feet have seen
Before them
With no direction to give them what they need
It’s a long time before sleep
An Dangerous to try during the light
Just keep yourself occupied an stay outa view stay outa trouble stay outa sight stay outa the way keep to yourself don’t say a word try not to cry try not to fall down try to keep walking
walking with no direction
so much pain
I see a Young girl wearing pretty clothes where no pretty clothes should be
I glimpse my first night but that was a million lifetimes ago a million years from me
Im back between the fire escape
That night
Once again tracing the letters
I swear this is the last time
The last time that lasts forever