Just a place to numb my thoughts. Anyone still read this?
This year...
Is much more drama filled than I anticipated.
My ideals are near shattered, but optimism is still there.
My livelihood sometimes relies on wodensday.
That's almost sad almost sad.
The process of drifting away, disconnecting from things due to a forced disconnection in approximately a year continues.
It hurts, but we all have to move forward and junk.
Sparking this motion is possibly the inevitible split between the two groups.
We all saw it coming from day one, unavoidable.
It's sad though, like losing a part of yourself.
Losing a best friend.
BUT
For the most part I am happy.
Carefree.
It feels like school isn't school anymore, considering I go there for five hours a day now.
Like I said, our wodensday ritual brings joy and something to tighten grip on.
Weekends are brilliant now too.
There's a regulatory chaos too them too.
I am always sure and never sure about what comes on weekends.
Brilliant brilliant.
Thankful for friends, very very thankful.
And in the back of my mind I know there's something there.
Substance.
Free will, all that.
Corny and serious and all that, oh well.
Who I am, who I am.
I feel
Like I am
Growing older
Detatching from the past
Things so important to me
Things so important to me from so many years ago are fading
They are becoming nonexistance
Part of me wants to drown in the nostalgia
But I know
I need to keep going
Keep trotting along on this uncertain road
I am becoming someone new
But at the same time I am old
Old old old
Julian still existing
Still regretting
Still looking forward trying to right
Wrongs
Wrong rights
So this is how it's panned out so far?
The first seventeen years of my life
I wonder what's next
I'm excited
I'm scared
Terrified
But excited
Optimistic
I like this person I've become, who I am.
Faults are strengths strengths are faults etc etc etc
Is much more drama filled than I anticipated.
My ideals are near shattered, but optimism is still there.
My livelihood sometimes relies on wodensday.
That's almost sad almost sad.
The process of drifting away, disconnecting from things due to a forced disconnection in approximately a year continues.
It hurts, but we all have to move forward and junk.
Sparking this motion is possibly the inevitible split between the two groups.
We all saw it coming from day one, unavoidable.
It's sad though, like losing a part of yourself.
Losing a best friend.
BUT
For the most part I am happy.
Carefree.
It feels like school isn't school anymore, considering I go there for five hours a day now.
Like I said, our wodensday ritual brings joy and something to tighten grip on.
Weekends are brilliant now too.
There's a regulatory chaos too them too.
I am always sure and never sure about what comes on weekends.
Brilliant brilliant.
Thankful for friends, very very thankful.
And in the back of my mind I know there's something there.
Substance.
Free will, all that.
Corny and serious and all that, oh well.
Who I am, who I am.
I feel
Like I am
Growing older
Detatching from the past
Things so important to me
Things so important to me from so many years ago are fading
They are becoming nonexistance
Part of me wants to drown in the nostalgia
But I know
I need to keep going
Keep trotting along on this uncertain road
I am becoming someone new
But at the same time I am old
Old old old
Julian still existing
Still regretting
Still looking forward trying to right
Wrongs
Wrong rights
So this is how it's panned out so far?
The first seventeen years of my life
I wonder what's next
I'm excited
I'm scared
Terrified
But excited
Optimistic
I like this person I've become, who I am.
Faults are strengths strengths are faults etc etc etc