(no subject)
It hit me today while I was folding towels. I want a family. I am craving a family. I want to be a mom and have a loving family to be with. I would never get pregnant now, I need to finish school and get married first. It doesn't stop me from desiring a family though. While I was folding towels it just so reminded me of my mom. She'd be doing laundry on her day off just like I was doing today. I just can't wait to have a little girl or boy to love unconditionally, a husband that will treat me wonderfully, and have a teaching job. I can't believe how much I am craving this right now! It kind of scares me.
Maybe I just want to move forward. I keep having dreams that I am pregnant. I should really see what this is supposed to mean. I used to be like omg! I must have an abortion in these pregnancy dreams, but now I'm always happy. Maybe I feel that if I had a child I'd finally have someone that would love me unconditionally? I don't know. Maybe I just feel abadoned. I mean, both my parents left me here in Michigan. Mother moved to Florida in May. I understand why she moved, she had to get away from dad. Then dad moved to Florida too, not to be with mom, but to start a new life as well. He said there was nothing here for him in Michigan and I basically wasn't enough to keep him here. I didn't even really care then either. Since Joe has moved in with me it's been quite wonderful. I'm fairly happy.
I'm just craving life. I've been asleep for most of it and now I want to wake up. I want things to happen and experience more.
In other news, I'm extremely excited about my upcoming Halloween party :) Yay, it will rock. Dancing, drinking, awesome costumes, friends, etc. It will be so much fun. hehehe yaaaay.
Maybe I just want to move forward. I keep having dreams that I am pregnant. I should really see what this is supposed to mean. I used to be like omg! I must have an abortion in these pregnancy dreams, but now I'm always happy. Maybe I feel that if I had a child I'd finally have someone that would love me unconditionally? I don't know. Maybe I just feel abadoned. I mean, both my parents left me here in Michigan. Mother moved to Florida in May. I understand why she moved, she had to get away from dad. Then dad moved to Florida too, not to be with mom, but to start a new life as well. He said there was nothing here for him in Michigan and I basically wasn't enough to keep him here. I didn't even really care then either. Since Joe has moved in with me it's been quite wonderful. I'm fairly happy.
I'm just craving life. I've been asleep for most of it and now I want to wake up. I want things to happen and experience more.
In other news, I'm extremely excited about my upcoming Halloween party :) Yay, it will rock. Dancing, drinking, awesome costumes, friends, etc. It will be so much fun. hehehe yaaaay.