(no subject)
Check this, this shit is comedy.
Tidbits of shit Jon's dad was talking while on the phone with him:
"You need to be making 5200 dollars an hour." (...What?)
"You need to sacrifice your friends for about 3-4 years so you can study." (I don't think you need to stop being social for the pursuit of a writing degree. =P)
"You need to give up parties." (...WHAT PARTIES?)
"You need to give up your extravagant spending." (Jon has no furniture in his apartment; for fucks sake he doesn't even have a MICROWAVE because his mom thinks they're a LUXURY HE CAN'T AFFORD. I'm sure a VIDEOGAME won't completely cause his budget to collapse on itself.)
"You need to cut back on ______." (If he cut back any more, he would be living out of his car.)
"I want to share everything EQUALLY between you and your brothers." (I shouldn't have to point out that this is a boldfaced lie by now.)
"You need REAL friends that will help you when you need it..." (...Because your family isn't doing a very good job of it. =D)
"...Real friends that don't ask for plane tickets..." (...I asked? Last I remembered, they OFFERED to pay.)
"You need to get checked every six months for AIDS..." (Apparently Jon's been sleeping around... with me... and me... oh yeah, and me. =P)
This next gem came after Jon pointed out that he doesn't sleep around:
"Well the one you're with is probably sleeping around." (Okay, so basically I'm a whore -Freddie, shut up-. Glad to see you're so confident in me, since you dumped your fucking grandchild on me and Andrew for 4 hours and didn't pay us shit after offering. No, really, I appreciate the assumption.)
"Miami has the highest concentration of AIDS in the world." (90% of all statistics thrown around are fake. This guy isn't even trying.)
"You need to be serious about school." (While not comical standalone, take note that this is probably the 3498573498573958739857398475349857394857394857th time he's made it a point to lecture his son on the subject, and his term HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET.)
"I'll support you all I can."
Next day:
"I'll support you until May."
2 hours later.
"I'm cutting you off."
10 minutes later:
"You need to cut back."
Must be nice to have such loving parents.
Tidbits of shit Jon's dad was talking while on the phone with him:
"You need to be making 5200 dollars an hour." (...What?)
"You need to sacrifice your friends for about 3-4 years so you can study." (I don't think you need to stop being social for the pursuit of a writing degree. =P)
"You need to give up parties." (...WHAT PARTIES?)
"You need to give up your extravagant spending." (Jon has no furniture in his apartment; for fucks sake he doesn't even have a MICROWAVE because his mom thinks they're a LUXURY HE CAN'T AFFORD. I'm sure a VIDEOGAME won't completely cause his budget to collapse on itself.)
"You need to cut back on ______." (If he cut back any more, he would be living out of his car.)
"I want to share everything EQUALLY between you and your brothers." (I shouldn't have to point out that this is a boldfaced lie by now.)
"You need REAL friends that will help you when you need it..." (...Because your family isn't doing a very good job of it. =D)
"...Real friends that don't ask for plane tickets..." (...I asked? Last I remembered, they OFFERED to pay.)
"You need to get checked every six months for AIDS..." (Apparently Jon's been sleeping around... with me... and me... oh yeah, and me. =P)
This next gem came after Jon pointed out that he doesn't sleep around:
"Well the one you're with is probably sleeping around." (Okay, so basically I'm a whore -Freddie, shut up-. Glad to see you're so confident in me, since you dumped your fucking grandchild on me and Andrew for 4 hours and didn't pay us shit after offering. No, really, I appreciate the assumption.)
"Miami has the highest concentration of AIDS in the world." (90% of all statistics thrown around are fake. This guy isn't even trying.)
"You need to be serious about school." (While not comical standalone, take note that this is probably the 3498573498573958739857398475349857394857394857th time he's made it a point to lecture his son on the subject, and his term HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET.)
"I'll support you all I can."
Next day:
"I'll support you until May."
2 hours later.
"I'm cutting you off."
10 minutes later:
"You need to cut back."
Must be nice to have such loving parents.