(no subject)
Every other month, I seem to have these semi-epiphanies concerning how much of a fucking lazy piece of a shit I am and how badly I need to change that aspect of myself.
I'm starting to actually piss myself off because I've made almost no progress at all torwards anything I had hoped to accomplish when this semester had started, and there's pretty much no excuse for it; it's all because I just haven't felt like it. More and more I find myself constantly thinking "what the fuck is wrong with me?" It's as if my mind has little more than a diminished control over my body that almost exclusively caters to basic needs (food, sleep, sex, other forms of pleasure, etc).
The way I understand it, I usually lack the drive to do anything unless either a: not doing something results in a consequence strong enough to convince me that this something needs to be done, or b: that something happens to be convenient for me. In the past, I've often equated my laziness to a disease, like a sort of half-paralysis, a state where the mind can only make the body do what the body feels is worth doing, otherwise the body denies any input and works according to it's own will. I've grown so accustomed to my almost mindlessly effort-free hedonism, and while I enjoy this way of life a good deal, my mind is well aware that it can't and wont last much longer.
So I've come up with a useful New Years resolution that I would like some of you to help me with (I know it's a bit early to start talking about New Years, but whatever). It basically encompasses these goals that I'm absolutely sure I can accomplish if I just got off of my ass:
I want to be able to move out and be somewhat self sufficient by the time I'm 21 (February 4, 2007).
I want to have a damn good working band, a demo out, and booked/played shows within the year.
I want to get to a point where I can be proud of my abilities as a guitarist with much less doubt hovering over me.
I want to catch up in school, get the fuck out of limbo, and get on my intended track.
In short, my new years resolution will be this: in 2006, I will get the fuck off of my ass and start making something of myself. I've felt like a high school kid for too long; there's no better time than the impending start of a fresh new year to start growing the fuck up and moving on.
Until then, I'll just continue to enjoy this carefree lifestyle while I still can. The semester is already pretty much over, I just have some minor final shit to take care of, and then I'm done. I'm relatively sure I've passed everything (Religion and Guitar = definitely, Japanese = probably).
Also, I've decided that I'm gonna ask for a new Guitar for christmas. Here are my candidates (yeah, I'm aware some of them are out of stock, but there are plenty of other places I can get them for matching prices anyway):
1) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/513102/
1a) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/513104/ (same as 1, only 7 string)
2) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/513105/
3) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/512024/
4) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/516681/
5) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/516666/
5a) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/512031/
6) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/518181/
Not entirely sure if price is gonna be an issue, so some of them in there are a pretty cheap, but damn good for the price.
I'm starting to actually piss myself off because I've made almost no progress at all torwards anything I had hoped to accomplish when this semester had started, and there's pretty much no excuse for it; it's all because I just haven't felt like it. More and more I find myself constantly thinking "what the fuck is wrong with me?" It's as if my mind has little more than a diminished control over my body that almost exclusively caters to basic needs (food, sleep, sex, other forms of pleasure, etc).
The way I understand it, I usually lack the drive to do anything unless either a: not doing something results in a consequence strong enough to convince me that this something needs to be done, or b: that something happens to be convenient for me. In the past, I've often equated my laziness to a disease, like a sort of half-paralysis, a state where the mind can only make the body do what the body feels is worth doing, otherwise the body denies any input and works according to it's own will. I've grown so accustomed to my almost mindlessly effort-free hedonism, and while I enjoy this way of life a good deal, my mind is well aware that it can't and wont last much longer.
So I've come up with a useful New Years resolution that I would like some of you to help me with (I know it's a bit early to start talking about New Years, but whatever). It basically encompasses these goals that I'm absolutely sure I can accomplish if I just got off of my ass:
I want to be able to move out and be somewhat self sufficient by the time I'm 21 (February 4, 2007).
I want to have a damn good working band, a demo out, and booked/played shows within the year.
I want to get to a point where I can be proud of my abilities as a guitarist with much less doubt hovering over me.
I want to catch up in school, get the fuck out of limbo, and get on my intended track.
In short, my new years resolution will be this: in 2006, I will get the fuck off of my ass and start making something of myself. I've felt like a high school kid for too long; there's no better time than the impending start of a fresh new year to start growing the fuck up and moving on.
Until then, I'll just continue to enjoy this carefree lifestyle while I still can. The semester is already pretty much over, I just have some minor final shit to take care of, and then I'm done. I'm relatively sure I've passed everything (Religion and Guitar = definitely, Japanese = probably).
Also, I've decided that I'm gonna ask for a new Guitar for christmas. Here are my candidates (yeah, I'm aware some of them are out of stock, but there are plenty of other places I can get them for matching prices anyway):
1) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/513102/
1a) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/513104/ (same as 1, only 7 string)
2) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/513105/
3) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/512024/
4) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/516681/
5) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/516666/
5a) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/512031/
6) http://www.musiciansfriend.com/srs7/g=guitar/search/detail/base_pid/518181/
Not entirely sure if price is gonna be an issue, so some of them in there are a pretty cheap, but damn good for the price.