Entirely Too Long
It's been a long time since I've last visited LJ. Or much of the internet it seems. With the exception of my photoblog, a few other sites, and facebook (once a month) I've been focusing on getting my life together. Work had been taking a great majority of my time until recently, when I became sick.
Since I've been home, I've had a little more time to myself and my hobbies... which include fics. And it's been years since I've written anything besides original fiction... so, for a while I have been rereading some of my work and trying to figure out what I was trying to write. Most of my notes have been lost and I found myself with a weak link to characters who I could once write convincingly. In some cases, I have lost my link completely.
Last night I updated my Gravitation fanfic after almost 4 years... I haven't watched it almost that much time either. I've lost all my notes and only can remember hints of what I was trying to do, not that I had much direction back then either. So I reread all 24 chapters (of course editing many of them in the process) and decided to go with whatever I thought of after reading it. I'm not going to confuse myself with 'what could have been' and instead focus on the notes taken while reading. I figured out my themes and decided what I want to convey through these characters.
And I realized many of my works share the same themes...
Unrequited or Unwanted love and its effects on both the one harboring the feelings and the object of affection. Abuse-- mental, physical, sexual-- and what is or isn't considered abuse / the effects of such (usually exploring those who by rights should be considered abused). Themes about realizing and expressing the true self and its conflict with the perceived self (persona) / duty-obligation formed self. Growing up and gaining maturity, coming to understand something. Friendship. Obligation.
Sometimes I wonder what that says about me...
I am determined to finish the fics I started, though I'm not entirely sure if or when I might start something new. My interest in such has been waning, though now that I have started writing again, I feel some enjoyment from it. But maybe, after everything is done, I'll focus on my own works.
Who knows what the future holds...?
Since I've been home, I've had a little more time to myself and my hobbies... which include fics. And it's been years since I've written anything besides original fiction... so, for a while I have been rereading some of my work and trying to figure out what I was trying to write. Most of my notes have been lost and I found myself with a weak link to characters who I could once write convincingly. In some cases, I have lost my link completely.
Last night I updated my Gravitation fanfic after almost 4 years... I haven't watched it almost that much time either. I've lost all my notes and only can remember hints of what I was trying to do, not that I had much direction back then either. So I reread all 24 chapters (of course editing many of them in the process) and decided to go with whatever I thought of after reading it. I'm not going to confuse myself with 'what could have been' and instead focus on the notes taken while reading. I figured out my themes and decided what I want to convey through these characters.
And I realized many of my works share the same themes...
Unrequited or Unwanted love and its effects on both the one harboring the feelings and the object of affection. Abuse-- mental, physical, sexual-- and what is or isn't considered abuse / the effects of such (usually exploring those who by rights should be considered abused). Themes about realizing and expressing the true self and its conflict with the perceived self (persona) / duty-obligation formed self. Growing up and gaining maturity, coming to understand something. Friendship. Obligation.
Sometimes I wonder what that says about me...
I am determined to finish the fics I started, though I'm not entirely sure if or when I might start something new. My interest in such has been waning, though now that I have started writing again, I feel some enjoyment from it. But maybe, after everything is done, I'll focus on my own works.
Who knows what the future holds...?