(no subject)
why is it so early and furthermore, why am i awake?
couldn't sleep last night for thinking: of k, of c, of michael's comment, of megan's little notes, of joan larkin and the next few weeks, of h's strange concern for the safety of my heart.
someday this will all make sense. i wonder if we'll be talking when it does, any of us.
probably i'll still be a wino and probably i'll still be writing but i can't say much else. for now, i'm trying to make my days beautiful and not too sunken. and it's working and each day seems less involved with you and less upset by you, so i'm doing something right. maybe some day i will wake up and not remember, not really, how your silence felt or how weakly you broke out of it to tell me, be careful, like *suddenly my heart was in danger. maybe someday i'll forget.
couldn't sleep last night for thinking: of k, of c, of michael's comment, of megan's little notes, of joan larkin and the next few weeks, of h's strange concern for the safety of my heart.
someday this will all make sense. i wonder if we'll be talking when it does, any of us.
probably i'll still be a wino and probably i'll still be writing but i can't say much else. for now, i'm trying to make my days beautiful and not too sunken. and it's working and each day seems less involved with you and less upset by you, so i'm doing something right. maybe some day i will wake up and not remember, not really, how your silence felt or how weakly you broke out of it to tell me, be careful, like *suddenly my heart was in danger. maybe someday i'll forget.