(no subject)
warning:
if, over your time reading my journal, you have grown tired of hearing me bitch and complain about sarah lawrence college, please feel free to skip over this entry.
if, however, you find it delightful that i never seem to be happy at this godforsaken school and that they keep fucking up over and over despite their wonderful reputation, read on, read on.
about a week ago, i got my "statement," telling me that i was going to receive a return for approximately four thousand dollars from my loans. that's just about what i was expecting/depending on.
along with this statement, i receive a "tuition adjustment worksheet," and i realize that the numbers might be incorrect.
because of all the bullshit last year, i still have a lot of classes to take that any *normal graudate student in my program would already be done with. ie, i'm not done with my FUCKING DANCE REQUIREMENT. AND i opted out of taking a poetry workshop because i didn't ever want to be locked in a classroom with the illustrious sd and all his fucking pomp and circumstance again.
so.
that's five credits they hadn't billed me for when they reported my "tuition" needs to the loan people.
which means that the loan people are under the impression that i needed approximately six thousand dollars LESS than i need to go to school, much less to live off of.
so. what does that mean?
it means i OWE THIS GOD DAMNED SCHOOL TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS, despite that fact that i've taken out something like 18,000 dollars in loans thus far IN ORDER TO PAY THEM WHAT I'M EXPECTED TO PAY THEM.
so what does THAT mean?
it means i don't have money for rent this month.
it means i don't have money for food.
it means i don't have money to fix my car so i can GET TO SCHOOL.
it means i don't have money to go visit my girlfriend so who knows when i'll see her again.
now.
yes.
i have a job.
but.
at this rate, i'm making approximately 150 bucks a week with the hours i'm getting (and once school starts, i'll have to limit my availability even more in order to make it to classes).
150 bucks a week isn't enough to pay my rent, much less buy textbooks or gas or pay for application fees for phd programs in a few months.
so i went to slc today and pleaded with the financial aid lady and she told me that they *might (operative word, might) be able to give me a couple hundred dollars extra on my perkins loans. but that's it.
i said something like, "yes, that's grand, but you see: i owe you two thousand dollars in order to graduate on time. two hundred dollars isn't going to do me much good except buy me the night's worth of alcohol i'm going to need when i realize i might have to drop out of school this far into a program i have endured purely on principle of already having sold my soul to bank one for educational loans."
she wrote down a 1-800 number so that i can call and apply for a private signature loan.
so i guess that's what i'm doing because it's either that, drop out, drop to part-time student (which means spending another year in this god awful city and at that god awful school), or find a full-time job which, BY THE BY, would mean i COULDN'T GO TO SCHOOL.
motherfuckers.
motherfuckers.
motherfuckers.
as of right now, i don't have money to pay rent, buy a parking pass so i don't get ticketed or have to walk three miles to school each day, take the god damned chinatown bus to boston to keep plans with my girlfriend's family (yes, i committed to plans with her FAMILY for this weekend and now i have to work instead), pay my tuition in order to actually enROLL this semester, or pay the registration fee for the gre subject test so i can go to ANOTHER graduate program that will HOPEFULLY PAY FOR ME TO ATTEND.
i repeat:
motherfuckers.
if, over your time reading my journal, you have grown tired of hearing me bitch and complain about sarah lawrence college, please feel free to skip over this entry.
if, however, you find it delightful that i never seem to be happy at this godforsaken school and that they keep fucking up over and over despite their wonderful reputation, read on, read on.
about a week ago, i got my "statement," telling me that i was going to receive a return for approximately four thousand dollars from my loans. that's just about what i was expecting/depending on.
along with this statement, i receive a "tuition adjustment worksheet," and i realize that the numbers might be incorrect.
because of all the bullshit last year, i still have a lot of classes to take that any *normal graudate student in my program would already be done with. ie, i'm not done with my FUCKING DANCE REQUIREMENT. AND i opted out of taking a poetry workshop because i didn't ever want to be locked in a classroom with the illustrious sd and all his fucking pomp and circumstance again.
so.
that's five credits they hadn't billed me for when they reported my "tuition" needs to the loan people.
which means that the loan people are under the impression that i needed approximately six thousand dollars LESS than i need to go to school, much less to live off of.
so. what does that mean?
it means i OWE THIS GOD DAMNED SCHOOL TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS, despite that fact that i've taken out something like 18,000 dollars in loans thus far IN ORDER TO PAY THEM WHAT I'M EXPECTED TO PAY THEM.
so what does THAT mean?
it means i don't have money for rent this month.
it means i don't have money for food.
it means i don't have money to fix my car so i can GET TO SCHOOL.
it means i don't have money to go visit my girlfriend so who knows when i'll see her again.
now.
yes.
i have a job.
but.
at this rate, i'm making approximately 150 bucks a week with the hours i'm getting (and once school starts, i'll have to limit my availability even more in order to make it to classes).
150 bucks a week isn't enough to pay my rent, much less buy textbooks or gas or pay for application fees for phd programs in a few months.
so i went to slc today and pleaded with the financial aid lady and she told me that they *might (operative word, might) be able to give me a couple hundred dollars extra on my perkins loans. but that's it.
i said something like, "yes, that's grand, but you see: i owe you two thousand dollars in order to graduate on time. two hundred dollars isn't going to do me much good except buy me the night's worth of alcohol i'm going to need when i realize i might have to drop out of school this far into a program i have endured purely on principle of already having sold my soul to bank one for educational loans."
she wrote down a 1-800 number so that i can call and apply for a private signature loan.
so i guess that's what i'm doing because it's either that, drop out, drop to part-time student (which means spending another year in this god awful city and at that god awful school), or find a full-time job which, BY THE BY, would mean i COULDN'T GO TO SCHOOL.
motherfuckers.
motherfuckers.
motherfuckers.
as of right now, i don't have money to pay rent, buy a parking pass so i don't get ticketed or have to walk three miles to school each day, take the god damned chinatown bus to boston to keep plans with my girlfriend's family (yes, i committed to plans with her FAMILY for this weekend and now i have to work instead), pay my tuition in order to actually enROLL this semester, or pay the registration fee for the gre subject test so i can go to ANOTHER graduate program that will HOPEFULLY PAY FOR ME TO ATTEND.
i repeat:
motherfuckers.