The 21st Century Approaches Puberty?
It's been another year. We're finishing a decade. Nearly all of my friends have stopped posting in Livejournal. Probably no one checks it. And yet, we all still have these. Does user generated content ever die? I am reminded of my favorite ukelelist's (is that a word?)song "MyHope." Look it up.
Anyway. I come back. Like Odyseus, after a long and trying journey. No one here would recognize me. But like that trusty old dog, livejournal can still smell it's me.
Things I've learned this year:
+ I like sex a lot. And there are really truly a great many ways to do sex.
+ I'm not particularly attached to masculinity, at least not in the way I was when I had to prove myself a true transsexual. I'd rather be dyke identified, with my faggy moments.
+ No matter how much you love a child, their parents can hurt them more than you can help them. But that's no reason to stop trying.
+ Ignoring community trauma means you pay for the pain later, in slow, dreadful drips for months and months and maybe years (ask me next year).
+ I'm a happier person when I've something to do (school, work, taking care of children).
+ It's never a good idea to go off your meds at the same time as making other big changes in lifestyle.
This year has been incredibly painful. It was like running a gauntlet, it was like falling down stairs, it was like being a burglar in Home Alone. The audience knows the nail is in the stair, the iron is on the doorknob, but you step, but you grasp anyway. And then the traumatic events stopped, and I was left instead just traumatized, sitting with the sinking, hopeless feeling for the last three months.
Here's to this centuries awkward preteen years. Here's to 'Not 2009.' I made it through this year. It didn't kill me.
Anyway. I come back. Like Odyseus, after a long and trying journey. No one here would recognize me. But like that trusty old dog, livejournal can still smell it's me.
Things I've learned this year:
+ I like sex a lot. And there are really truly a great many ways to do sex.
+ I'm not particularly attached to masculinity, at least not in the way I was when I had to prove myself a true transsexual. I'd rather be dyke identified, with my faggy moments.
+ No matter how much you love a child, their parents can hurt them more than you can help them. But that's no reason to stop trying.
+ Ignoring community trauma means you pay for the pain later, in slow, dreadful drips for months and months and maybe years (ask me next year).
+ I'm a happier person when I've something to do (school, work, taking care of children).
+ It's never a good idea to go off your meds at the same time as making other big changes in lifestyle.
This year has been incredibly painful. It was like running a gauntlet, it was like falling down stairs, it was like being a burglar in Home Alone. The audience knows the nail is in the stair, the iron is on the doorknob, but you step, but you grasp anyway. And then the traumatic events stopped, and I was left instead just traumatized, sitting with the sinking, hopeless feeling for the last three months.
Here's to this centuries awkward preteen years. Here's to 'Not 2009.' I made it through this year. It didn't kill me.