Fic: Soft as a Baby's Bottom
Title: Soft as a Baby's Bottom
Rating: PG
Word Count: 354
Prompt: from hoodietime: As a side-affect of severe stress, Dean starts sleepwalking. Sometimes he does things in his sleep that are worrying. (Self-harm, whatever.) Sam deals with it.
Warnings: crack, and the usual swearing, unbeta'd
Disclaimer: Not mine.
“Dude, what the fuck?”
Sam’s spreading cream cheese on his bagel. He wipes the knife off with his finger and pops that finger in his mouth. Mm.
“Sam! What the fuck!”
Sam sighs. Wants his bagel. Puts it down. “Problem?”
Dean make a bitch face (because as much as he rags on Sam, Dean’s got bitchfaces up the freaking ying yang) and gestures down. The floor? His boxers, what the f- Oh. Suddenly Sam doesn’t mind the bagel time interruption.
“Um.” This shit is fucking gold. “Why did you shave your leg?” Leg, singular. Dean’s left would do a Neanderthal proud, but his right? Smooth as a baby’s bottom.
It even reflects light.
Dean looks at him like…well, like Sam was the one with the shaved leg. “I didn’t!” Dean sputters. “My fucked in the head little brother did.”
“Uhuh.” Nope, no, no way. “Not that I don’t think it’s hysterical - because I really, really do - but I didn’t do it.”
Dean glares him, looms, tries to intimidate him into a confession. But Sam’s got nothing to confess, so tough noogies big bro.
“Dean, you sleep with a knife under your pillow. No way in hell.”
And Dean knows that Sam likes to keep his blood inside him, if at all possible. But now, if it’s not Sam and it’s not Dean…
“Maybe you’re possessed?”
That doesn’t go over too well. Especially because Sam says it after he douses Dean with holy water.
The brainstorm, google, but the only thing Sam asks, as he chews his bagel thoughtfully, is if Dean thinks it'd be weirder to shave the other one too or leave it as is.
Neither of them can come up with an explanation. And they can’t let it go, because it’s seriously messed up.
It turns out they only have to wait until that night to get an answer. Because even though Sam doesn’t sleep with a knife under his pillow, he still wakes up when someone climbs into bed with him.
Dean is apparently sleepwalking. Or sleep-shaving. Or, in tonight’s case, sleep-groping.
“Dean!”
Handcuffs have never been more useful.
::
Rating: PG
Word Count: 354
Prompt: from hoodietime: As a side-affect of severe stress, Dean starts sleepwalking. Sometimes he does things in his sleep that are worrying. (Self-harm, whatever.) Sam deals with it.
Warnings: crack, and the usual swearing, unbeta'd
Disclaimer: Not mine.
“Dude, what the fuck?”
Sam’s spreading cream cheese on his bagel. He wipes the knife off with his finger and pops that finger in his mouth. Mm.
“Sam! What the fuck!”
Sam sighs. Wants his bagel. Puts it down. “Problem?”
Dean make a bitch face (because as much as he rags on Sam, Dean’s got bitchfaces up the freaking ying yang) and gestures down. The floor? His boxers, what the f- Oh. Suddenly Sam doesn’t mind the bagel time interruption.
“Um.” This shit is fucking gold. “Why did you shave your leg?” Leg, singular. Dean’s left would do a Neanderthal proud, but his right? Smooth as a baby’s bottom.
It even reflects light.
Dean looks at him like…well, like Sam was the one with the shaved leg. “I didn’t!” Dean sputters. “My fucked in the head little brother did.”
“Uhuh.” Nope, no, no way. “Not that I don’t think it’s hysterical - because I really, really do - but I didn’t do it.”
Dean glares him, looms, tries to intimidate him into a confession. But Sam’s got nothing to confess, so tough noogies big bro.
“Dean, you sleep with a knife under your pillow. No way in hell.”
And Dean knows that Sam likes to keep his blood inside him, if at all possible. But now, if it’s not Sam and it’s not Dean…
“Maybe you’re possessed?”
That doesn’t go over too well. Especially because Sam says it after he douses Dean with holy water.
The brainstorm, google, but the only thing Sam asks, as he chews his bagel thoughtfully, is if Dean thinks it'd be weirder to shave the other one too or leave it as is.
Neither of them can come up with an explanation. And they can’t let it go, because it’s seriously messed up.
It turns out they only have to wait until that night to get an answer. Because even though Sam doesn’t sleep with a knife under his pillow, he still wakes up when someone climbs into bed with him.
Dean is apparently sleepwalking. Or sleep-shaving. Or, in tonight’s case, sleep-groping.
“Dean!”
Handcuffs have never been more useful.
::