Fic: So Easy To Grow, Even Jim Kirk Can Do It
Title: So Easy To Grow, Even Jim Kirk Can Do It
Rating: Is there something lower than G?
Word Count: 439
Pairing: K/S (but it comes off as gen, if you're not slash-ily inclined :P )
Summary: Some traditions never die. Unless you flush them down the toilet.
Disclaimer: I have never owned, pet sat, or been within 200 yards of a sea monkey. Any accurate description is purely the fault of google. Oh, and I don't actually own Star Trek. I know you were wondering.
A/N: Crack!Fic! Wheee!
“I fail to comprehend the purpose of these creatures.”
“Oh, come on Spock. What happened to,” Kirk modulated his voice to a near monotone, “‘you must strive to appreciate the culture and value of alien species, no matter how foreign they appear’? Hm?” He nudged his first officer with his elbow and flashed a smile.
Spock’s left eyebrow arched. “My statement was made regarding the sentient species we will encounter over the course of our mission and is not applicable to your crustaceans. These,” and he gestured to the small aquarium on Kirk’s desk, “serve no appreciable function. Thus to procure and maintain them when such action is not required for species preservation is illogical.”
“They’re not supposed to be logical, Spock. They’re sea monkeys.”
The Vulcan's jaw twitched. “They are not remotely related to simians nor did they originate in any of the Terran seas.”
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t sound half as awesome if you called them laboratory-engineered crustaceans,” Kirk retorted. “Want to know their names?”
"Naming creatures which lack the ability-"”
“Spock."
With what was most certainly not a sigh, Spock inclined his head. “Very well, Captain. What do you call your sea monkeys?”
The sea monkeys were numerous and, from Spock's cursory examination, physically indistinguishable. Still, Kirk’s gaze searched the tank until he spotted whatever it was that he was looking for.
“See that one right there,” he said, after a few moments, “the devilishly handsome, impressively endowed sea monkey behind that underwater bush?” Kirk leaned over to tap a finger to the glass. “That would be Jim.” Ah. Of course it would be.
“The one with the buggy eyes is Bones.” Interesting. Spock did perceive a resemblance. “And the one with the extra long antennae, well -“ The captain quirked a grin. “Spock, meet your sea monkey counterpart.”
Spock’s lips pursed almost imperceptibly. “I see. And the other 34? What names have you bestowed upon them?”
“Hadn’t really thought about it, actually,” Kirk said, dropping himself into his chair. He swung his feet up onto his desk with a thud. “One of them tried to eat Jim yesterday. Might name it Uhura."
Spock ignored the comment. Instead, hands clasped behind his back, he leaned forward and peered into the tank. “Fascinating.”
“Yeah?” Kirk grinned. “I knew you’d like them.”
With a sidelong glance and a raised eyebrow, Spock straightened. “I express no preference beyond the academic interest they afford - which is negligible.” Spock paused and cocked his head. “Though I have observed one point of mention.”
Kirk attempted an eyebrow-raise of his own. “And that would be?”
“The one you call Jim is pregnant.”
:))