The Memories of White Christmas
The Memories of White Christmas
After his father passed away, Donghae said “I’m okay, I’m the strong Donghae!” But at night, he would secretly hide in the toilet and cry.
December 24th 2006. 10.15PM
Donghae-ya, where are you?
A short text message from Eeteuk arrived on Donghae’s phone. Donghae sighed after read that.
“I’m sorry hyung.” In a moment, he turned off his phone and saved it on his bag.
Every people in the world need a lonely time when you’re just want to be alone with yourself, to think about everything, to concentrate, and calming down the heart. Sometimes on that time, you can find many brilliant solution or idea to make your life better.
It's been four months, sixteen days, twenty hours, two minutes and fifty seconds since he died. Donghae’s father. Tonight would be the first Christmas Eve without his most important person in his life. Would be the first Christmas he spent alone without the warm hug of his father.
Father in heaven do you watch over me and see how I overcome many trials, how I smile, cry, am happy, and am sad…?
Donghae mulled over as the white droplets of snow began to pour, covering all the streets in front of SM Building. He walked toward the windows and opened the frame, so the cold wind could touch his face.
It wasn’t fair
He never accepted the fact that his father passed away. He always thought this just a nightmare because its hurt too much. Donghae’s dream was someday, his father could attend his first concert, he wanted to make his father proud. Standing on the stage, while his father sat in front VIP seat, crying affected by an emotion… that was his dream. But now, that dream had faded away, never comes true.
After his father passed away, Donghae said “I’m okay, I’m the strong Donghae!” But at night, he would secretly hide in the toilet and cry. All the members have schedules, busy with their own things, so Donghae didn’t want to bother them with his feelings. He kept it in his heart, and always being lonely, when it came the time he missed his father the most.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten and children listen
to hear sleigh bells in the snow…
While the building should be empty and dark, a soft voice was echoing from the music room, made Donghae shivering. A girl voice, singing White Christmas song in a perfect English pronunciation. It seemed like she sang and her hands played the piano.
“I thought there should be no one here,” Donghae mumbled, curiously. Its Christmas Eve. All the trainees, and artists, managers or staffs were in a holiday. Some Super Junior members spent Christmas, making a little party in the dorm, that’s why Eeteuk told Donghae to come over, but he denied. He wanted to finish the whole night alone, in a silent situation. But suddenly, this girl’s voice scattered everything.
Donghae decided to go to the music room, and found out that the light was on.
“Ya! What are you doing here?” Donghae creaked the door, revealing a girl in her long brown hair sat in front of the piano.
“D-Donghae Oppa?” the girl also shocked in an instant.
“Miyoung-ah? What are you doing here by yourself? It’s almost midnight,” said Donghae, getting closer to Tiffany.
“I’m sorry…I just…practicing my vocal and my piano skill…”
Even Donghae wasn’t a fortune teller, he knew Tiffany lied. “Nonsense. Practicing in the middle of the night, on Christmas Eve? Alone? You must be hiding something.”
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
Ever since Tiffany started being trainee on SM, she never got caught playing piano in the music room. She glanced at Donghae and said in a concerned voice, “I’m sorry if I disturb you, I just…was remembered my Mom. She used to like this song, singing and playing the piano with me in the past.”
Donghae hugged Tiffany awkwardly, despite that her voice was shaky holding back the tears. Donghae knew, he and Tiffany both lost his parent. Both have to struggle in Seoul to reach their dreams, to make Donghae’s father and Tiffany’s mom proud in Heaven.
Donghae also sat in fron of the piano, right beside Tiffany and kept hugging her.
“D-Donghae Oppa?” The girl felt strange, why did suddenly Donghae embraced her into his chest?
“Please, let me do it a little longer,” whispered Donghae. “It makes my body warm.”
“But Oppa…if someone sees us doing this and…and…” Tiffany was horrifying.
“Ssst,” Donghae tightening his free hands on Tiffany’s body. “Your body reminded me with my father’s scent that I miss a lot.”
Though both of them didn’t believe in word ‘everlasting’ but that’s the word which really suit the late Donghae’s father and the late Tiffany’s mom.
After a while, the man push Tiffany apart and look up at her. “I’m sorry I’m being such a cry-baby in front of you I just… cant accept the fact that my father had passed away. You must be more pathetic than me, right Miyoung-ah? You lost your mother since years ago…”
Tiffany did his eye-smile, making Donghae tremble a little. “Maybe yes, but rather than crying and feeling sad, cheer for your father so that he can live happily and be proud having you as his son, Oppa.”
How ironic. Both of them felt the same thing. Both of them lost their most precious love in such a young age. Every time both of them looking at the photo albums, all the memories would come up in a flash and made them sobbing.
“I don’t know, Miyoung-ah. I want to forget him, but every time I eat, I dance, I perform, I sing, I always try to picture his image. I always try to imagine if he was here, it could be awesome, and I’ll ended up sobbing on the corner of the toilet.”
There was a long pause. Both of them felt awkward when they realized a silent moment between the two.
“I-I-I’m so-sorry Miyoung-ah, for bothering you with my stupid feeling,” Donghae giggled. He breathed to remove all sadness on his heart. “Well yeah, maybe next time when we meet, we can play the piano together. You sing, I play. Sounds nice, rite?”
“Of course,” Tiffany smiled sweetly but slowly her tears dropped, soaking her chubby cheeks. She couldn’t hide, she miss her mom too.
Deg.
Donghae felt something strange.
His heart beating faster than before.
His eyes kept looking at Tiffany’s lips which fake-smiled brightly like an angel, but the tears kept falling down.
Slowly but sure, Donghae pressed his lips with hers. Connecting with Tiffany’s, he kissed softly, sweetly, and gently as his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. Tiffany’s tears fell off harder, as Donghae wiped the droplets away by his lips.
After a while, the kiss become more passionately, full of lust. Donghae then lifted Tiffany up, placed her on the top of the piano.
“This is the first time I see you as close as this. You’re handsome,” said Tiffany.
“Well, my parents, especially my late father created this. This is not my free will. That’s what I’m not regretted, my late father give me this handsome face before he died.”
“Ah oppa!” Tiffany stopped Donghae. “I think its already past midnight. It’s already December 25th. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas too, Miyoung-ah.” And Donghae kissed Tiffany back. Again and again.
END.