Waiting for the higher purpose to shine through

Sep 27, 2004 01:34

I can't believe just how insanely and completely screwed up today has been. Well, technically it was yesterday. September 26th. From the moment I woke up, everything was wrong, and getting worse by the moment. First, pain in eyes from lack of sleep, pain in right big toe from beginnings of an ingrown toenail, pain in head from something or other. Then, realization: Sunday. Church. Three hours of it. Home sacrament. Home teaching. More hours of my day eaten up that I could be spending with Katie, but hopefully with the right scheduling it will all work out good. Then I realize - I only have $5 to get me through the next two weeks due to unforeseen expenses. Also, I had woken up only an hour before church time, so I was rushing around while waking up, trying to get ready. Realization: nice necktie is not present, necktie is at Preston's house, or rather, with Preston who is not at his house but somewhere gallavanting in town with his girl. So, grungy necktie has to do. Arrive at church a minute late, then realization: HUNGER. No food before departure, but easily enough remedied - leave one meeting early, skip next meeting, eat food while away, then return for last meeting. Good enough. Having done so, I finished up church, performed my home sacrament duties, and returned home to discover my father had set up home teaching for 4:00 instead of 3. There goes another hour I could have spent with Katie. Then, Katie's friend Desirae calls me and tells me they want to go to a movie at 4:30. Not a chance I'd make it as I wouldn't even be done with my home teaching until 4:30 or 5. So instead of waiting for me and going to a later showing, Des decides she's going to take Katie (who she had been alone with ALL WEEKEND, by the way) to a different movie without me, which didn't end until 6:30. So now it's 4 hours later than the time I had hoped to be to Katie's house. I arrive at her house between 6:30 and 7, unsure if I want to though because I might ruin her day with my bad mood, but it gets so much better the moment I see her there, present at her house. Then in a lovely twist of fate, she can't spend any time with me because she's doing homework all night. And to top it all off, her parents have basically said that they don't want me to visit with her anymore during the day (which is the only time I CAN visit with her, due to my work and her school) because she supposedly never gets any homework done when I'm there. Despite the fact that I'm there for only one hour most days. Also, Katie was very stressed out, tired, and upset, because her friend Mirie is getting married to a jerk, Katie knows it will end in disaster... that, along with the sudden reduction in times available for us to see each other, really got to her, and she started crying.

Usually I don't let this sort of thing get me down, usually I take the lemons and make lemonade, then bathe in it and laugh manically, but this is like... lemons being rocket-propelled at me too fast for me to catch, hitting me in unpleasant places with amazing force.

It's times like these you learn to live again. It really is. Take the blows in stride, and keep on doing what you have to do to survive. I'm still waiting for the higher purpose to shine through, though.
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