hmmph.

[aynsleyyyface]

i hate not knowing.
it's not even like something someone can answer.
it's mental.
i hate now knowing what i want/who i want to be.
but those questions don't work with my view of life.
i totally believe in predestination.
everyone has a destiny.
and even when someone says that they cheated death or changed their destiny, i think that it's neither because they were supposed to do that.
so, whatever i decide now has already been decided, i just don't know it.
so i can't really choose to be the wrong person, because either way it's how i'm supposed to live.
does that make any sense?
i don't even know.
but the point is, right now i don't know who i want to be.
do i want to reform into the good girl with legal edge.
or stick to the teenage rebellion and having a good time.
lately i've been thinking good girl.
but, you can only be into teenage rebellion while you're a teenager.
and it's really only fun while you're in high school.
so, i guess these last few months are it.
and i want to live it up.
i'm literally thinking out loud.
or, thinking by writing.
either way.
i'll stop rambling.