birthday blog
Remember a while ago I asked if it was better to leave early or stay until the end? I've been struggling with this issue since then, before then, up to now. Well, up until yesterday. I spent about two hours on my birthday 10pm-12am crying because Alex didn't call me. Didn't email me, didn't acknowledge me, nothing. And I'd totally be fine with that, except that she is big on birthdays and actually has a shit list of people who don't call her on her own birthday. So, I know it's more than a matter of not knowing or not being available that day. If anyone else had forgotten, I really wouldn't have cared. But she really dug it in.
I have really tried to make this friendship work. I have visited her specifically three times in the year that I moved here, once was to fly to LA for 24 hours to be at her wedding. I have called her, emailed her, tried to simply wait it out until she wanted to contact me, but this is pretty much the last straw. It just hurts a lot to have a seemingly strong friendship end totally abruptly with no reason.
I woke up on my birthday to Adam sleepily singing Happy Birthday. I got calls, emails and myspace messages from so many people, it was unreal. My supervisor arranged a fake meeting with me so that I was in his office when all of my coworkers came in with an ice cream cake and card they had all signed (the cake was awesome!). It was amazing and I am so so lucky to be surrounded by all these wonderful people who care about me. And I let all that pale in comparison to one person missing out.
I'm not good at ending things like this. But I need to wash my hands of it and be secure in the knowledge that it's not up to me and if she wants to have a relationship, the ball is in her court and she needs to buck up and get in touch with me.
So, I'm old now. I'm officially over the mid twenty hump and am sliding back down into late-twenties land. Approaching thirties land. God.
I have really tried to make this friendship work. I have visited her specifically three times in the year that I moved here, once was to fly to LA for 24 hours to be at her wedding. I have called her, emailed her, tried to simply wait it out until she wanted to contact me, but this is pretty much the last straw. It just hurts a lot to have a seemingly strong friendship end totally abruptly with no reason.
I woke up on my birthday to Adam sleepily singing Happy Birthday. I got calls, emails and myspace messages from so many people, it was unreal. My supervisor arranged a fake meeting with me so that I was in his office when all of my coworkers came in with an ice cream cake and card they had all signed (the cake was awesome!). It was amazing and I am so so lucky to be surrounded by all these wonderful people who care about me. And I let all that pale in comparison to one person missing out.
I'm not good at ending things like this. But I need to wash my hands of it and be secure in the knowledge that it's not up to me and if she wants to have a relationship, the ball is in her court and she needs to buck up and get in touch with me.
So, I'm old now. I'm officially over the mid twenty hump and am sliding back down into late-twenties land. Approaching thirties land. God.