Sometimes I say things and don't remember saying them
like while I was eating dinner with friends (chicken and pork, really good) and someone made a comment about the door and I said something and they laughed but I wasn't even aware that I'd actually said anything funny until they were telling the whole story to our other friend who wasn't listening.
Really terrible memory. I'd say I had the memory of a goldfish but that might be borderline insulting. To the goldfish. And that's 'cause goldfish can be trained, that means they have a pretty good memory. Might even be better than mine, actually.
I've found this tendency to be rather disturbing, since I am still in school (boo, it's been too long) and I kind of need to have a memory. A good, working, long-term, solid, reliable memory. Or at least retrievable memories. That guy who founded Memrise said something to the effect that to keep things in your memory you had to associate them with something else, take a bit of a break, go over it again to strengthen the associations in your head, and then keep on going back over everything periodically to keep yourself sharp. See, I remember that bit of data!
The thing is, I can't really seem to remember to associate things with other things in the first place. Lots of my ideas are free, I mean, floating in the ether like dandelion fluff or kapok seeds. Which is nice, because my brain always has space for new things, but I can't place the old things all that well either.
I have this killer organizational system set up on my laptop, and also in my bookmarks for Chrome, but there is also a slight problem with it: I have to remember the naming associations I made for the folder names to make sense. A lot of the time they don't ACTUALLY have that much sense. Except inside my head. And I love making little inside jokes with everyone, including myself: word associations, things I see around me, some witty commentary, whatever I'm listening to at the moment...sometimes, all these come together in one brilliant moment of togetherness.
And then I'm compelled to name something that in honor of the moment of togetherness. And then some time later I forget what the hell that even means, until I suddenly remember. Or never remember, it's hard to really tell. Sucks.
I've also noticed that a lot of times I seem to not be in the moment I am in, as if I don't really live where I am or don't fully inhabit any space I am in most of the time. Not that I am on drugs or any other substances, I guess I'm just really that way. Or maybe it's a combination of sleep deprivation and hunger. Either way, floating.
Sometimes it feels a bit like the floating world of Edo up in here.
Really terrible memory. I'd say I had the memory of a goldfish but that might be borderline insulting. To the goldfish. And that's 'cause goldfish can be trained, that means they have a pretty good memory. Might even be better than mine, actually.
I've found this tendency to be rather disturbing, since I am still in school (boo, it's been too long) and I kind of need to have a memory. A good, working, long-term, solid, reliable memory. Or at least retrievable memories. That guy who founded Memrise said something to the effect that to keep things in your memory you had to associate them with something else, take a bit of a break, go over it again to strengthen the associations in your head, and then keep on going back over everything periodically to keep yourself sharp. See, I remember that bit of data!
The thing is, I can't really seem to remember to associate things with other things in the first place. Lots of my ideas are free, I mean, floating in the ether like dandelion fluff or kapok seeds. Which is nice, because my brain always has space for new things, but I can't place the old things all that well either.
I have this killer organizational system set up on my laptop, and also in my bookmarks for Chrome, but there is also a slight problem with it: I have to remember the naming associations I made for the folder names to make sense. A lot of the time they don't ACTUALLY have that much sense. Except inside my head. And I love making little inside jokes with everyone, including myself: word associations, things I see around me, some witty commentary, whatever I'm listening to at the moment...sometimes, all these come together in one brilliant moment of togetherness.
And then I'm compelled to name something that in honor of the moment of togetherness. And then some time later I forget what the hell that even means, until I suddenly remember. Or never remember, it's hard to really tell. Sucks.
I've also noticed that a lot of times I seem to not be in the moment I am in, as if I don't really live where I am or don't fully inhabit any space I am in most of the time. Not that I am on drugs or any other substances, I guess I'm just really that way. Or maybe it's a combination of sleep deprivation and hunger. Either way, floating.
Sometimes it feels a bit like the floating world of Edo up in here.