Taking a LJ break
Since I miscarried in August I haven't logged in much. I have been dealing with a bunch of little things that really should not have been stressing me out, but have.
Today I went to see my OB/GYN and will be going in for surgery next month to have some rather large fibroids removed.
I was quite excited about this news...finally having it taken care of. The largest one pressures against my bladder so it (my bladder) is never really empty and I am constantly fighting bladder/urinary track infections so this should be a long waited relief.
Somehow the excitement/relief has turned into depression as the reality hit me that the possibility of this fibroid removal turn into a hysterectomy is more likely than I wanted to believe. Not having another child doesn't upset me as much as the whole idea of not being able to make a choice.
Sounds stupid huh?
I know I am already thinking about the "what if" and I should just concentrate on the surgery itself as it comes and cross all other bridges as they come. I will definitely try that is one of the reasons I have decided to put my live journal on hold for awhile. I need to pull myself out of this "funk" and concentrate on my son and the needs of my family right now.
Thank you all for your friendships and kind words along the way. I plan on keeping my friend list. I do plan on coming back someday. I'm just not sure when.
Everyone take care.....and please remember me in your prayers as I search for the strength to deal.