Shattered Glass
Title: Shattered Glass
Pairing/s: KyuMin, slight!SiMin (because yuyu ships them)
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: R
Length: One-shot
Warning: AU, rape
Summary: Sungmin knows it. He knows that Kyuhyun doesn’t love him at all.
My birthday gift to princessyuyu1~!!! Happy birthday, babe~ you got a year older again!!! >:D
A/N: This is long. :DDD
Sungmin went to Sapphire Blue Bar, which his good friend, Siwon, owns. He just received the good news that he passed the Board Exam and he wants to celebrate his achievement. He really wanted to celebrate with his boyfriend, Kyuhyun, but the latter doesn’t he answer his calls; he is probably busy with school. So, he chose to celebrate it with his best friend.
Since Siwon is the owner-slash-manager, the guy is busy attending to their customers’ endless needs, so, he sat by the counter and ordered a cocktail, occasionally bobbing his head in beat with the loud music inside the place. His eyes roamed around the variety of people, sticking his gaze to a couple making out on a corner. He knows he shouldn’t invade other people’s privacy, but the bright red hair of the guy looks familiar to him, and the short, brown hair of the girl is also recognizable to him.
To some reasons, he regretted that he glanced at them. He just passed his Board Exam, he is officially an Accountant, and he should be celebrating with his boyfriend. Unfortunately, his boyfriend is with another woman, and that woman is his classmate. He should be happy today, but his decision to visit his friend just hurt him, and stabbed his heart with the sharpest knife, tearing it into pieces.
Just when Siwon is done with a complainant, Sungmin rushed out of the place, much to his confusion. He stared at the swinging door where his friend came out, but someone called him, snapping him out of his thoughts and moved to that person.
Kyuhyun and Sungmin are living together for a year now. They met when Sungmin was still a sophomore, and Kyuhyun was a freshman, and it was because they are on the same program. Sungmin just thought of him as an evil dongsaeng, who always tease him, and play pranks at him every Friday. He just considered him as a younger brother, but that dongsaeng of his treats him the other way.
On the same year, Kyuhyun told him that he likes him, and asked him if it’s alright for them to date. Since he doesn’t want to hurt the boy, he agreed; thinking that this is just a fling for the both of them. However, as time passed by, Sungmin realized that he was falling for the boy… no, he is madly in love with him that he agreed to live with him even though they are just college students.
Kyuhyun is his first love… and he is his first heartbreak.
He was blankly walking on the streets like a zombie who had no destination at all. Suddenly, the rain poured and he stopped, raised his head and cried with the rain. He is the type of person who can hide his feelings. He never cried in public; he built up this image of being a strong boy when his parents and brother died. He cries, yes, but he does it when he’s alone. Never did he shed a tear in front of someone, even in front of Kyuhyun. He never thought that the day would come that he will look like an idiot, crying while standing under the rain. News Flash, Lee Sungmin a.k.a. Hopeless loser in-love is crying on the streets!
Even the heavens could feel his sorrow. How he wished that this could wash away the pain he is feeling right now. How he wished that the water coming down from the dark sky would go straight to his heart and wash away the blood gushing out from it, so that the pain will lessen or disappear.
What have he done wrong? Is he not attractive anymore? Is he not good on bed anymore? Wait, correct that. They never had sex in their entire relationship, even when they started living under the same roof. He wants it, but Kyuhyun doesn’t. All this time, he thought that his boyfriend respects him… but with what he saw earlier, it is like Kyuhyun is sex-deprived over that slut for he was literally eating the face of the girl!
Yes, they made out, but it was never as intense and passionate like those! He then felt that Kyuhyun is just using him. Actually, the reason why they lived together is because the younger wants to stay away from his parents’ abode, and the only condition is for someone to live with. And yeah, it fucking hurts. He is just Kyuhyun’s toy. So, that’s why he never felt any affection from the other when they’re together.
After an hour of being soaked on the rain, he finally made it to his and Kyuhyun’s apartment. He lazily turned the doorknob, only to find out that it is unlocked. He entered the unit, still staring at the floor. He felt two strong hands gripping his shoulders tightly.
“Why are you so late?!” His voice is angry, but it is still soothing. That was one of the reasons why he fell for that game freak.
“Why are you wet?! You have an umbrella! Why didn’t you use it?! God, Min, you’ll get sick!” Kyuhyun worriedly said as he led his boyfriend inside their room, and let the older sit on their bed. Sungmin just stared at Kyuhyun, who grabbed a towel from their cabinet and put it on top of Sungmin’s head. The younger kneeled on the floor as he wiped his lover’s wet hair, slightly massaging the head.
“What time did you go home?” Sungmin asked in a very weak voice. The red-haired paused for a while, but then coolly answered, “Just minutes before you arrived, why?” The older raised an eyebrow, “Did you come from school? You class ends at 6pm.” As expected, Kyuhyun avoided Sungmin’s gaze; he will tell a lie. He cleared his throat. “Uh, I hanged out with my friends at Changmin’s place.”
Siwon’s bar. Then, Sungmin narrowed his eyes when he noticed something on Kyuhyun’s lips, “Kyu, why do you wear lipstick?” The younger widened his eyes, instantly wiped his lips using the back of his hand, and sheepishly smiled, “Oh shit, I forgot to remove it! They forced me to dress up as a girl for a dare!”
Or undress a girl. “You drank?” Sungmin scrunched his nose with the smell of alcohol coming from Kyuhyun’s mouth. This made the younger giggle and tap the older’s nose, “Yes, we did. Okay, okay, I’ll brush my teeth.” But Sungmin’s next question kind of took Kyuhyun off guard because of the firm tone used by the older.
“Did you have fun?”
Kyuhyun saw Sungmin’s fists clenched, and noticed something burning on his foxy eyes. He gulped before answering, “O-Of course. A-are you… mad? That I didn’t tell you?”
I’m mad because you fucking cheated on me! “Yes.” He stood up, making Kyuhyun sit on the floor and stare at him in surprise; whenever Sungmin is mad at him, his hyung will just pout and whine. He was never like this. He held his boyfriend’s hand, “Babe…”
But Sungmin swatted his hand away, fury evident in his eyes, “Don’t call me babe! How many girls have you called by that?!” Kyuhyun frowned and stood up, his tone raising, “What?! What the hell are you talking about, Sungmin?!” The orange-haired scoffed, “You really don’t know? Know it yourself and don’t talk to me until you knew it!”
After it, Kyuhyun just stared at the opened door… Sungmin was out of sight. Actually, he had a hunch on why Sungmin was acting like that. He saw us? But he doesn’t really care, honestly. Sungmin will come back to him tomorrow or the day after it. He is sure of it.
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“Sungmin-ah?”
Siwon asked the guy who knocked on his door and appeared with a very worn-out look though he is smiling. “What happened? Why did you go out earlier at the bar?” However, his question wasn’t answered and was asked as well. “Can I stay here for this night… only just this night?”
The tall guy sadly smiled, “Of course. You can stay here for more than one night, you know.” He then let the smaller man in and gently asked after settling on the couch, “Uh, what about Kyuhyun? Did you two fight?” The orange-haired just stared at the floor, tears pooling around his eyes.
He sniffed. “Can we please not talk about it now? I will tell you when I’m ready. Please?” Siwon nodded as he took the smaller into a warm embrace, stroking Sungmin’s orange hair.
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Days passed and Sungmin isn’t still coming home. It is just a good thing that Siwon allowed his friend to freely use his home like it is his. Sungmin, being a man full of pride, helped by doing the chores, ignoring Siwon when he says that it is okay and he shouldn’t do it because he is a guest.
Kyuhyun isn’t even calling him or finding for him. Sungmin didn’t go to class, but Kyuhyun did. Siwon really wanted to punch the hell out of that thick face of that boy, but he controlled himself; Sungmin asked him not tell Kyuhyun where he stays.
Siwon didn’t ask Sungmin about what happened. He knows Sungmin; the latter will keep it to himself until he cannot take it anymore. Besides, maybe Sungmin is not yet ready to open up, so, he is willing to give him all the time he needs to be ready. He will always be there to listen.
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Siwon rushed towards the kitchen when he heard Sungmin shriek and glass shattering. He then saw his friend kneeling on the ground and picking up the broken pieces. He went to him and stooped. He held the older’s hand and noticed that it was shaking.
“I’m really sorry, Siwon, I’m going to replace it!” Sungmin said as he tries to clean the mess he made. His finger was got cut by a glass, but he didn’t notice it and continued cleaning until Siwon firmly held his hand and raised it. He looked at his friend with a confused look, and that’s when he only knew that his finger is bleeding.
“Why are you acting so weird, Sungmin?” Siwon asked after putting the band aid on Sungmin’s finger. The older sighed and looked down. Surprisingly, a lone tear escaped from his doe eyes. He dryly chuckled, “Siwon, did you know that I am like that glass I broke?” When the other man’s eyes narrowed, he continued, “I was the one who broke it and I was also the one who was desperately trying to pick up the broken pieces when I know that I will soon get hurt. And yeah, I got hurt.”
Tears finally fell like a faucet, and he sobbed hard; he can’t keep it anymore. It hurts. It hurts that Kyuhyun isn’t even concerned about him. Kyuhyun didn’t give any effort to find him. Kyuhyun didn’t say sorry to him.
Siwon scooted beside Sungmin and hugged the crying man. “I know I’m not perfect, and it is my fault why he did that…I guess I deserve to be cheated on…” The younger cupped Sungmin’s cheeks, looked at his sad orbs, and gently said, “No one deserved to be cheated on, Sungmin. And rest assured that the broken pieces of that glass will be mended because I will help you. I will help you bring back those pieces and give it a new and better look. I will help you with all my heart because I love you.”
They didn’t know how fast or slow, or what really happened before, but Sungmin finds himself kissing back to Siwon. Siwon is gentle and soft. He feels safe whenever he’s around. He knows that Siwon won’t hurt him. But still, Kyuhyun is in his mind. No matter how hard he tries to forget, nothing will happen. His love and yearning for the younger is just getting stronger.
They broke away from each other when the door slammed open and revealed a panting and raged, sweaty Kyuhyun. No one spoke from the three, but it was Kyuhyun who made the first action. He went to Sungmin and pulled him up the couch, with a shocked Sungmin resisting, and with Siwon trying to pry the guy’s hand from his friend.
But a drunken Kyuhyun is uncontrollable. The magnae clenched his fist and punched the taller guy. “Siwon! Kyuhyun, what the fuck are you doing?!” Sungmin shouted as he kept on struggling to break free from his ex-lover’s tight grip. When Siwon was sitting on the floor, nursing his aching cheek, Kyuhyun took that chance and dragged Sungmin out of the place.
To Sungmin’s surprise, Kyuhyun pulled him up the stairs and went inside on one of the units in the building.
The drunken guy yanked Sungmin harshly and threw him onto the bed, climbing on top of him. He pinned the older’s arms on it, and whispered huskily, “You’re such a slut, bitch. Kissing another guy when you are committed? How dare you.” Sungmin wriggled and cried, “We’re over, Kyuhyun! Besides, who was the one making out with his classmate when he is committed, huh?! Why, are you the only one allowed to do that, and I can’t and shouldn’t when you can?! Tell me!”
But what he said was ignored because Kyuhyun harshly crashed his lips onto his, biting Sungmin’s lower lip, that made the guy under gasp, giving full access to the guy in control to invade his cavern.
Sungmin felt so weak, helpless and abused. He is a martial artist, but he is too frail now to fight back; He is physically, mentally and emotionally unstable. He screamed from the top of his lungs when Kyuhyun shoved his hard member inside his hole without warning, thrusting hard even without waiting for the other to adjust to his size. He just looked to his side and cried silently as he tries to suppress the pain.
Kyuhyun came, but Sungmin didn’t. The younger collapsed beside Sungmin, immediately drifting to deep slumber as soon as his back made contact with the soft bed.
Sungmin sat, and looked at his sleeping lover with pain and sadness. He thought that he will be happy with Kyuhyun, but he ended up getting hurt and raped. He feels so dirty. Yes, he wanted to do it with Kyuhyun on his first time, but not like this.
He kissed the younger for the last time before saying goodbye and left.
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Kyuhyun groaned as his senses started to get back to its life. He extended his arm and felt no one beside him, making him quickly sit. He looked around and there is no sign of Sungmin. He wasn’t still used to not having Sungmin by his side these days. But then, he recognized the place, and it isn’t their apartment. It is the unit he bought to spy on Siwon and Sungmin; of course he knows that Sungmin will only come to Siwon whenever he has a problem.
He then felt his head ache, so he brought his hand up his forehead to massage it, only to halt when something fell from his hand… a ring. It was the ring he gave Sungmin on their first anniversary. Sungmin doesn’t take it off except when taking a bath because it is his gift to him.
The sting he felt on his chest was stronger than what he feels on his head due to being drunk last night. He tried remembering the events, and flashbacks of Sungmin’s crying face were shown to him, especially after seeing that he is naked. His left hand palmed his forehead, while his right hand picked the ring and brought it to his chest as he cried, “What have I done? I’m supposed to say sorry to him… You’re such an idiot, Cho Kyuhyun! You should die!”
But then, his phone rang. He doesn’t want to answer it because he is not in the mood to talk to someone, especially if he’s dead worried to Sungmin. But when he glanced on the blinking screen, he saw Sungmin’s name on it. So he grabbed his phone and answered, “Sungmin? Sungmin? Where are you?”
But a different voice was heard. A girl’s voice. “Are you Mr. Cho Kyuhyun?”
Sungmin doesn’t have a sister and his family died due to a car accident. He also doesn’t know another relative. The girl’s voice is unfamiliar to him… she isn’t Sungmin’s friend. “Uh, yeah? Why do you have Sungmin’s phone?”
The girl replied, “Sir, we called you because your name was first on his speed dialing list. Lee Sungmin-ssi is currently hospitalized du-“
“WHAT?! WHY, WHAT HAPPENED?!” he shrieked.
“Sir, he met an accident just now and he is currently on the operating room. Could you please inform his parents or any relative of his?”
His tears continuously fell from his eyes. “H-he do-doesn’t h-have any r-relative a-alive.”
“Oh, well, can you come here?”
“I will go there.” Please be safe… I will never forgive myself if something bad happened to you!
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“Doc, how is he?”
“Are you Mr. Cho?”
“Yes! How is Sungmin?”
The doctor sighed, “He lost a lot of blood, and he needs a transfusion. Our problem is, you said that he has no rela-” “I will donate my blood. We have the same blood type.” Kyuhyun firmly said, determination could be seen on his eyes. The doctor nodded in agreement, now knowing who Kyuhyun is to Sungmin, and vice versa.
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Kyuhyun woke up with a movement on his hand. He yawned and looked at the sleeping Sungmin, jerking from his seat when the pale guy slowly opened his eyes. He pressed a button near Sungmin’s bed to call the doctor and caressed Sungmin’s cheeks, “Baby, how are you? I’m really sorry, It’s so foolish of me to-”
“Who are you?” Sungmin’s doe eyes innocently stared at him, blinking it. Kyuhyun took a step back, his heart feeling being squeezed. “Why did you call me baby? Are you my father? You don’t look like one. You’re more like my younger brother.”
“Y-you… you don’t know me? I know I hurt you, but Min, please don’t do this to me.” Kyuhyun asked. “You hurt me? Who really are you? Sorry, but I don’t remember you. Is Min my name?” The orange-haired innocently said. However, Sungmin felt a slight twinge on his chest when he saw the unfamiliar guy’s teary eyes.
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“The impact of the accident on his head caused him to have amnesia.”
“Will his memories still go back? How long will he stay like that?”
“It depends. It may come back, it may not. But I’m sure that it will because you will help him, right?”
Those were the words lingering on his mind as he opened the door to his and Sungmin’s apartment. He smiled at Sungmin, who was behind him, and was looking around, with Siwon beside him. “We’re home. Do you find the place familiar?”
Sungmin nodded, his lips parted because he is trying to remember the place, and it really is familiar to him. Even the muscular guy beside him, who introduced himself as his close friend, is familiar to him. But what is strange is that he can’t sense any familiarity to the guy, who apparently is his boyfriend. But he trusts the guy. Maybe it is true; for his heart beats like crazy whenever Kyuhyun is around him.
“Kyuhyun, you broke Sungmin’s heart of a glass, and you should take the responsibility of bringing those back together and make it new and beautiful than ever.”
Kyuhyun showed Sungmin different pictures of them since the day they met each other. He brought Sungmin to his university and introduced his friends, who were fully aware of Sungmin’s condition, and decided to help out. He tried cooking Sungmin’s favorite dishes, ending up cooking messed up foods, but Sungmin ate it anyway with a big smile. He toured Sungmin around Seoul and to his favorite places, telling him stories of the memorable events on those places, and he will sigh in relief when he sees Sungmin smile.
He sat beside Sungmin, who was reading on their bed - Sungmin was at first uncomfortable with having Kyuhyun sleeping beside him, but got used to it now. The younger called, “Sungmin…” The latter closed the book and looked at the guy beside him, “Yes?”
Kyuhyun gently asked, “Do you still know my name?” This made the orange-haired chuckle, “You’re Cho Kyuhyun, the Starcraft addict.” The younger smiled, and showed Sungmin his ring, “How about this? Do you remember what this is for?”
Sungmin felt something weird in his chest as he stared at the silver ring on Kyuhyun’s hand. Unconsciously, he reached for it and held it. He then wore it, still not averting his gaze from it, “Is this mine?” This is it. Kyuhyun thought that maybe it is now time to tell Sungmin what happened before he got into the accident; he doesn’t want to lie to him anymore.
“Yes, but you gave it back to me.”
The older snapped his head to Kyuhyun and gave him a confused look. “You gave it back to me because you broke up with me.” Suddenly, scenes of his past with this guy rewound on his memory, and it weirdly hurts. “W-why did I b-broke up… with y-you?”
Kyuhyun heaved a deep sigh, “Because I cheated on you and I raped you.” Sungmin’s eyes flew wide after hearing it, and tears unconsciously fell from his eyes. Kyuhyun is now crying too, but he avoided Sungmin’s gaze whilst he continued his confession. “I… I knew that you will come back to me after our fight, but you didn’t… and so, I stalked you and Siwon… I got drunk, and suddenly barged in Siwon’s apartment and saw you kissing. It hurts. I got mad. I pulled you out and brought you to a room, and I pleasured myself. It was so selfish of me…”
“…I was supposed to say sorry to you and get you back that night, but jealousy and anger overtook me. W-when I was told that you met an accident, I panicked and cursed myself for letting you experience that. Everything was my fault. If it weren’t for my sexual desires, this wouldn’t happen to you in the first place. I… I promised myself that I will make love with you after we get married… but it didn’t happen. It was too late… I already abused you… so, when they informed me that you lost a lot of blood, I took that chance to make it up to you by giving you my blood… I will give my life to you if that’s the case! I just… I don’t know… I deserve this… but you don’t… you shouldn’t suffer because of me… I’m really sorry… I’m so sorry…” Kyuhyun sobbed.
But then, Sungmin cupped the younger’s cheeks and made him look at him. He sweetly smiled, and whispered, “Kyubaby…” That was Sungmin’s endearment to Kyuhyun. The younger beamed and completely faced the other, “What did you just call me?”
“I called you Kyubaby… my baby… my only baby… you’re an immature 20-year old game freak, who spends his whole night trying to kill those freaking ugly monsters on his laptop. You love the color black, and you don’t cook well. Your best dish was your Han River Noodles. Your birthday is on February 3, only weeks after mine. Our anniversary is on July 13, and this ring…” he raised his ring finger, “…is your first anniversary gift to me. You’re a brat, but that was all forgotten when you smile and sing… Oh your voice is heavenly! And you know what I remembered the most now?”
Kyuhyun shook his head, but he is already smiling.
Sungmin kneeled and moved closer to the younger, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “It is that I love you so much that I already forgive you because you said sorry to me!”
“Really? I’m now forgiven?” Kyuhyun asked. “And remembered.” Sungmin answered with a grin.
“God, thank you!” The younger tightly hugged his boyfriend and kept on giving butterfly kisses to his cheek. He cupped Sungmin’s soft cheeks and said before pressing his lips onto the other guy, “I love you very much! I love you more than anything else!”