Gah, I'm already writing again...
Heh, I feel like ranting about me, in a very personal way. Or really, just saying crap more than ranting.
And away we go, weeeee!
Heh, really, I'm off about my health, what stupendous subject that is. Quite frankly, I'm very sick. No not mentally, cause damn I know someone *CoughSebastianCough* will say it.
Where to start, where to start...
Well, first off, I suppose, I have grey hair..yeah, I'm 20 and I have grey hair. I was sick..so very very sick for 4 years, from what? No one seems to know, or they're just not telling. I dropped to 70 pounds, not from lack of eating you sick bastards who I know will assume so, I tried to eat, but no matter what I just couldn't keep it down for some reason. A great deal of this sickness, was spent in blinding pain, all of a sudden even the slightest breeze was more painful than you can imagine, no one could touch me, but they had to, I was to weak to get out of bed by myself. Obviously I couldn't walk, being too weak and all, but damn was my mother stupid about that.
Beside the river on a slight slope
Mom: Nat push yourself you need the exercise
Nat: Mom..I can't..I really can't, I'm not strong enough yet.
Mom: Do it, you need to *she lets go*
Nat: *moving rapidly towards the river* Mom what the hell?! Look I'm trying I can't!! I'm going get thrown in the fucking river!!
Mom: *grabs me barely in time* See, that wasn't too hard
Nat: What the fuck are you talking about woman?!
How stupid can a person get, I mean really, I could fit into size 1 pants, my wrists looked like they belonged to a five year old. I was SKIN AND BONES. Heedless to say I wasn't in school for those four years. I tried having a tutor, but what an ignorant goddamn woman she was. I at least had enough strength to hold a pencil and write, Heh, here I go with another memory scene.
In my Room, me in bed proped up by many pillows, tutor sitting beside me.
Tutor: So, do you dictate to your mother?
Nat: *holding a pencil and writing no less* No, I write for myself.
She of course asked me this three more times, then as she was leaving asked my mom the same thing. She treated me like I had a mental handicap, stupid fucking bitch, but you know, that's the way you get treated when you can't walk. Heaven forbid someone who can't walk have half a brain in their head, heaven forbid that they be good looking and seem like normal goddamn people. More memory!
In my current apartment talking to Sebastian(his hollow name)
Seb: You know Nat, you totally broke the stereotype about disabled people when I saw you the first time.
Nat: Oh? Do tell
Seb: Well, when I looked over and saw you, I was like: Whoa, she's really hot.
Nat: Heh
What to move on too...Well, let's see, most of my problems now are from my knees and hips, oh so beautifully destroyed as a result of the sickness described above. I have no cartiledge in them, almost no joint fluid and the bones grind, oh so happily, together everytime I move them. But! There's a but to this one, I'm going to get them replaced, first surgery on May 25th at 11am EST for all who care to know. And so, about 3 weeks prior (for pre-therapy)will begin my, at least, 6 month stint in the hospital. Yay, more isolation, more pain, more stress.
Stress, now ain't that a pleasant thing. If it gets too bad, then my chest hurts and I can't breath. When I still lived with my mother I had this nea constantly, joy. Now, I live on my own and so I don't have this often anymore.
Other than that, I have migraines rather often, extreme sleeping problems and I still have trouble eating sometimes.
Hopefully all will start to get better once my knees and hips are fixed.
Ta for now, Love to those I love and indifference to those I don't
~Nat
And away we go, weeeee!
Heh, really, I'm off about my health, what stupendous subject that is. Quite frankly, I'm very sick. No not mentally, cause damn I know someone *CoughSebastianCough* will say it.
Where to start, where to start...
Well, first off, I suppose, I have grey hair..yeah, I'm 20 and I have grey hair. I was sick..so very very sick for 4 years, from what? No one seems to know, or they're just not telling. I dropped to 70 pounds, not from lack of eating you sick bastards who I know will assume so, I tried to eat, but no matter what I just couldn't keep it down for some reason. A great deal of this sickness, was spent in blinding pain, all of a sudden even the slightest breeze was more painful than you can imagine, no one could touch me, but they had to, I was to weak to get out of bed by myself. Obviously I couldn't walk, being too weak and all, but damn was my mother stupid about that.
Beside the river on a slight slope
Mom: Nat push yourself you need the exercise
Nat: Mom..I can't..I really can't, I'm not strong enough yet.
Mom: Do it, you need to *she lets go*
Nat: *moving rapidly towards the river* Mom what the hell?! Look I'm trying I can't!! I'm going get thrown in the fucking river!!
Mom: *grabs me barely in time* See, that wasn't too hard
Nat: What the fuck are you talking about woman?!
How stupid can a person get, I mean really, I could fit into size 1 pants, my wrists looked like they belonged to a five year old. I was SKIN AND BONES. Heedless to say I wasn't in school for those four years. I tried having a tutor, but what an ignorant goddamn woman she was. I at least had enough strength to hold a pencil and write, Heh, here I go with another memory scene.
In my Room, me in bed proped up by many pillows, tutor sitting beside me.
Tutor: So, do you dictate to your mother?
Nat: *holding a pencil and writing no less* No, I write for myself.
She of course asked me this three more times, then as she was leaving asked my mom the same thing. She treated me like I had a mental handicap, stupid fucking bitch, but you know, that's the way you get treated when you can't walk. Heaven forbid someone who can't walk have half a brain in their head, heaven forbid that they be good looking and seem like normal goddamn people. More memory!
In my current apartment talking to Sebastian(his hollow name)
Seb: You know Nat, you totally broke the stereotype about disabled people when I saw you the first time.
Nat: Oh? Do tell
Seb: Well, when I looked over and saw you, I was like: Whoa, she's really hot.
Nat: Heh
What to move on too...Well, let's see, most of my problems now are from my knees and hips, oh so beautifully destroyed as a result of the sickness described above. I have no cartiledge in them, almost no joint fluid and the bones grind, oh so happily, together everytime I move them. But! There's a but to this one, I'm going to get them replaced, first surgery on May 25th at 11am EST for all who care to know. And so, about 3 weeks prior (for pre-therapy)will begin my, at least, 6 month stint in the hospital. Yay, more isolation, more pain, more stress.
Stress, now ain't that a pleasant thing. If it gets too bad, then my chest hurts and I can't breath. When I still lived with my mother I had this nea constantly, joy. Now, I live on my own and so I don't have this often anymore.
Other than that, I have migraines rather often, extreme sleeping problems and I still have trouble eating sometimes.
Hopefully all will start to get better once my knees and hips are fixed.
Ta for now, Love to those I love and indifference to those I don't
~Nat