Title: Straying into my heart
Author: ayang902
Pairing: Yamada/Chinen
Genre: romance, drama, fluff, au
Rating: PG
Summary: It's no secret to his friends, Yuto and Keito, that Chinen has a crush on Daiki. But when his dreams of being with Daiki are interrupted by one of Daiki's own best friends, Ryosuke Yamada, Chinen can't help but feel annoyed, if not angry at the seemingly indifferent, disrespectful obstacle standing in his way. But once Chinen is forced to get to know him, he starts to realize Ryosuke really is caring, and warm-hearted, and against his own will, Chinen finds himself falling for his new friend.
A/N: I AM FINISHED!! muwahaha (I will now proceed to post all the chapters :D)
Chapter Six : Nightmares
I needed to pinch myself. I had to wake myself up from this nightmare. I must've been dreaming. But then, why? Why did everything have to seem so real?
There was no way this was actually happening, Daiki watching me as I cupped Ryosuke's cheek, Ryosuke leading me to the rooftop once class had ended, me willingly following along, ignoring Daiki's gaze? It had to be a nightmare, there was no other explanation.
I tried to clear my mind, but my breaths felt shallow, constricted. I couldn't believe what was happening. Luckily, Ryosuke wasn't even looking at me; he was too busy staring off into the distance, the scenery below.
“I normally don't allow other people to come up here with me...” he began softly. “I like being here by myself… it’s like my secret hideout. A place where I can think things through and sort out my thoughts alone…”
Oh no, he's actually talking to me...
“But I brought you here… because you are an exception in my eyes.”
The eyes that refuse to look at me? I wondered skeptically, seeing as his back was still turned to me. I really just wanted to leave right about then, and I didn't care enough to even try to figure out what Ryosuke was getting at. I told myself, I didn't understand why he had brought me here. I didn't care and I didn’t want to listen.
“I want you here with me, Chinen.”
That line, I heard.
“W-What?” There was no way I could ignore those words. Not when he sounded so... sincere.
Hearing my confused reaction, Ryosuke finally turned around, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “What I'm trying to say is...” He sighed, his voice darkened by hesitance. “I like you, Chinen, a lot.”
My instincts forced me to react with a laugh. He can't be serious...
“What am I, some kind of joke to you?” He snapped, his tone abruptly morphed.
I stopped laughing.
“N-No, it's just that...” I furrowed my brow, trying to think of inoffensive words. “You must be lying. If you actually like me, you sure have a really strange way of showing it.”
“I'm being serious, though. I really like you,” Ryosuke's voice softened to a whisper.
I shook my head gently. “I don't get it... you act like you hate me one day, then are friendly to me the next. You glare at me like you wish we had never met, then turn around and pretend to be all thankful I'm your project partner. Then...” I paused, realizing what I was about to say next. “...you catch me when I fall into your arms ...you hold my hand when I get scared... and you lead me up to your favorite place... to the rooftop... alone.”
“Because I love you.”
My body froze. What kind of sick, twisted love is he talking about? I have to remember, I can't trust Ryosuke Yamada. He must be up to something... I did my best to ignore the tightness in my chest; I told myself that my heart was just pounding because I was getting mad at him for lying to me.
“I'm telling you the truth,” Ryosuke insisted, obviously noting the skepticism on my face. “It's your choice whether to believe me or not.”
His expression was unreadable.
“I... I can't. I can't believe you,” I answered frankly, averting his dark eyes.
“There's no way you actually... love... me...” I fought to suppress the rush of pink warmth that was rising in my cheeks saying those words. “Otherwise, you wouldn't have treated me... the way you did.”
A hoarse sigh escaped Ryosuke's lips, he closed his eyes. “It's... complicated.”
That's all he has to say?
“The day we met,” he began quietly, almost grudgingly. “Kei... was going through some... issues. It made me all angry inside, realizing that someone was making him suffer like he was... so I tried to help him by letting him pair up with Daiki for the project, but in doing so, I started to take out my anger on you. By accident. Sorry.”
I blinked. Kei? What happened to him...? I wasn't sure if Ryosuke was just trying to get me to pity him, but I still didn't want to make it too obvious that I actually believed him.
“Then...” he went on, his voice lowering to a indistinct murmur. “When we all bumped into each other in the hall... I wasn't glaring at you, I was just... worrying about Kei still... I kind of zoned out and lost track of what I was doing... and for some reason, my eyes kept instinctively, uncontrollably, drawing back... to you.” He seemed almost unwilling to admit this, as if he had been tortured into betraying this secret to me.
“M-Me?” I almost choked, not willing to believe my ears.
“Yes,” Ryosuke locked his gaze onto mine, walking towards me slowly. One step, then two, then, there he stood, right in front of me, his breath shallow as he murmured, “You.” His eyes stared deeply into mine, refusing to break our connection. I felt one of his hands touching my waist softly, the other gently palming my cheek.
“Chinen...” Ryosuke's lips whispered beside my ear. I couldn't even remember when he had leaned in. Everything was happening too fast; my mind couldn't keep up with what was going on.
His arms were around me now, trapping me between his body and the wall behind me. “You believe me, don't you?” he whispered darkly. I closed my eyes to avert his gaze, afraid of what he would say if I told him the truth.
His fingers that had been caressing my cheek slipped behind my neck, tickling my nape before running paths through my hair. His other arm snaked around my waist, pulling me even closer to his body. Ryosuke's lips brushed against my cheek. “Chinen...”
He was going too far. This isn't right... This shouldn't be happening… But I couldn't find the voice to speak. Jerking open my eyes, I tried to shove him away, thrashing beneath him, but he only pushed me closer to the wall. I wanted nothing but to get away from him, but even still, I couldn't help but notice how soft his touch remained.
Even now... he's still being gentle to me...
“L-Let go of me!” I stammered finally, my words tumbling out suddenly in both fear and anger. I was too surprised to think, too confused to care.
As soon as Ryosuke heard my voice, he stopped. He opened his arms, releasing me from beneath him. And without another word, I ran back downstairs.
The echo of my crashing footsteps thundered relentlessly in my ears. The only thought that registered through my mind was that I had to get away, and get away fast. Memories of what had almost just happened flashed in spasms before my eyes, practically blinding me as I staggered down the stairs, out of my nightmare and back into the civilization of school.
“Chinen?”
I hadn't even realized Yuto had just bumped into me.
“H-Hey,” I greeted shakily, my mind still in a haze.
“Where were you just now? Keito and I were looking all over for you! Lunch is almost over already...”
“Lunch? Right, it's lunchtime, isn't it?” I could only try to grab ahold of the current situation. My mind couldn't recall anything that had happened before... Ryosuke...
“Chii? Are you all right?” Yuto waved a hand in front of my face, trying to get my attention. But I couldn't focus, my mind was still in a frenzy.
“Why did this happen to me?” I cried out in despair, unable to grasp onto my senses. I felt at a loss; I didn't even expect Yuto to answer.
Yuto's large, brown eyes only widened in fear. “Wait, what happened to you, Chii?” His strong hands gripped onto my arms, shaking me as he asked. He was so worried; I felt so bad; I couldn't tell him anything. My lips refused to speak. My eyes stung with pain; only then did I realize burning tears had rolled down my cheeks, dampening Yuto's sleeves as he tried to wipe them away.
“Chinen, what's going on?” Yuto begged, pulling me into a gentle hug. Somehow, Yuto's arms around me... I didn't mind as much. But somehow, Ryosuke's arms just felt so much more.. comforting. A warm kind of comfort, almost protective. In Ryosuke's arms, I felt... safe. I felt like he would never let me go, and I would never want to leave.
But I did.
“Yuto?” A familiar voice called meekly from behind me. Breaking away from Yuto's embrace, I turned to see Keito standing in the hall, staring at us, shock sprawled across his face.
“Why were you two... hugging?” his voice was quiet, but tainted with suspicion.
I wanted to kick myself. Of course hugging would make Keito angry, Mr. Having-Crushes-On-Guys-Is-Dumb had basically claimed Yuto since day one. I sighed, realizing I couldn't allow Yuto to comfort me; it would hurt Keito to see us together like this.
“It's nothing,” I answered hastily, not giving Yuto the chance to speak. “Yuto was just comforting me after I started crying because.. uh I tripped in the stairwell and fell into… into Daiki, then ran away like an idiot because I didn't have the courage to apologize. I felt really stupid and terrible inside, and Yuto got worried. Right, Yuto?”
“Oh, so that's what happened...” he mumbled, a look of understanding gracing his features as he smiled encouragingly. “You don't have to feel stupid for that, Chii. Everyone makes mistakes,” he reassured me.
Taking a deep breath to suppress the truth and plastering on a big smile, I replied, “Yep, I realize that now. I think I ought to go look for Daiki now, and actually apologize for running into him just now.” I laughed sheepishly, a hollow, bare laugh.
Yuto nodded, “Are you sure you're okay, though?”
I glanced over at the still worried-looking Keito and answered firmly. “Yes, I'm fine. I just got a little freaked out. Sorry,” I apologized, more to Keito than to Yuto, but neither seemed to notice before I quickly turned around, about to walk away. But before I turned the corner, I sighed, and decided. If Keito doesn't have the guts to tell Yuto the truth, I probably should help him out... Then he'll thank me in the long run, right? I asked myself, not really giving much thought or effort into it before yelling back to them, “Maybe it's about time we both confess to our love, don't you think, Keito?”
I heard a muffled stumble and a curious Yuto questioning, “Wait, Keito? What did he mean by that?” before running off, a bittersweet smile splashed across my face.