Aoi's thoughts

[ayamekofuku]

I sat there and watched the rain…I watched the gray view, the monochromatic colors which painted the animated picture, turning it darker and darker.The light in the bus was white, making it more easy for me to see the outside.Small raindrops started to stick to the window i sat next to.The bus stopped suddenly and some angry swears were shouted, but I didn’t hear them.All I could hear was the sad song.The song of the rain falling on the pieces of my heart, trying to repair it, to glue it back.Yet, nothing succeded, I was already lost.The raindrops on the window started to form small water courses.Small rivers who flowed together until they were transformed again in rain, falling off the bus’s window. They kept falling harder and harder, until I couldn’t see nothing but the gray street, the troublous puddles, the little circles made by the falling tears.Yes, the sky was crying, and so did I .I guess I understood why.He was always there by himself, with no one to love him, so I was lucky, at least someone loved me…but it wasn’t the right person.I switched my mind back to the lonely rain, to the darkness floating on the streets.I could see couples hiding under colorful umbrellas, kissing or hugging each other.I asked myself if I would ever get to do that.Of course not, a quick answer came to my mind.He would only stick to me and pretend to be pouting because it rains, he doesn’t see me as someone he might love with his whole self...One couple caught my attention…that ruined my heart and made it vanish.I didn’t have any feelings but emptiness now.It was all over.I stared at them for a second, but the bus kept moving and passed the moment, yet my heart didn't.My heart stopped and remained blocked on that painful moment, on that second when all the rain seemed to freeze and when the window seemed to clear itself to show me something I already knew.Something I never wanted to admit in my mind, but especially in my heart, because it would rip me apart.They did it…They finally killed me.

I love you...