The Definition of Love
For me, love is…
The secure feeling that leads to carelessness because I know you were mine.
The steadiness in our relationship, which has no more sparks, because I know where we are heading, and I believed that.
The bitterness in my words and acts, because I wanted us to have a better relationship than we used to have.
Being self-centered and egoistic, because I knew once the witnesses say ‘SAH’, I would obey you wholeheartedly for the rest of my life.
Silently waiting for you to come and start the talk about marriage on your own willingness, because once you said ‘I don’t wanna talk about it’ when I asked about it.
Having faith of what you said, even after seeing signs of betrayal occurring here and there, only because you said ‘it doesn’t seem like it is’.
Asking for a break up, because I didn’t want you to keep the relationship that doesn’t make you happy.
Warning you not to lie to yourself, not to deny your own feelings, because somewhat I knew there’s something you’ve been hiding.
Protecting you by not mentioning your weaknesses to my family, because I didn’t want them to see even the tiniest bad side of you.
Offering you to leave, to find a new happiness, because I knew you’ve had enough, you’ve hurt a lot.
Hiding the fact that our relationship was on the verge of destruction from everyone, because I still believed in us.
The comfort feeling that I felt only by seeing you sit there in front of me and do nothing.
Trying to ignore the rejection from your family, because you said someday everything’s gonna be normal again.
Convincing myself that you have no intention to do all of those, that you did it all only because you didn’t know where it would lead me into.
I don’t like staying among the people who don’t want me, in any other occasion I would have leave, but for you, I would.
Opposing my own mother’s opinion, because I still wanted to fight for us.
Holding on to the weak tiny microscopic string of hope, because you said you still want me.
Agreeing to start all over again, even though my heart’s filled with doubts, because I was thankful that you were still there for me.
You failed to see through it all.
I’ve been trying to leave so many times, but I always failed. I thank you for leaving, so I have no choice but to leave myself. You’ve been lying to yourself--and me--for months, now you don’t need to pretend anymore, at least to me and yourself.
Trying to leave you was really hard, but once I knew you’ve leaved me, it’s unexpectedly easy to walk away.
Thank you for make it so much easier.
I’m counting the day until I can fully say ‘I have let you go’.
The secure feeling that leads to carelessness because I know you were mine.
The steadiness in our relationship, which has no more sparks, because I know where we are heading, and I believed that.
The bitterness in my words and acts, because I wanted us to have a better relationship than we used to have.
Being self-centered and egoistic, because I knew once the witnesses say ‘SAH’, I would obey you wholeheartedly for the rest of my life.
Silently waiting for you to come and start the talk about marriage on your own willingness, because once you said ‘I don’t wanna talk about it’ when I asked about it.
Having faith of what you said, even after seeing signs of betrayal occurring here and there, only because you said ‘it doesn’t seem like it is’.
Asking for a break up, because I didn’t want you to keep the relationship that doesn’t make you happy.
Warning you not to lie to yourself, not to deny your own feelings, because somewhat I knew there’s something you’ve been hiding.
Protecting you by not mentioning your weaknesses to my family, because I didn’t want them to see even the tiniest bad side of you.
Offering you to leave, to find a new happiness, because I knew you’ve had enough, you’ve hurt a lot.
Hiding the fact that our relationship was on the verge of destruction from everyone, because I still believed in us.
The comfort feeling that I felt only by seeing you sit there in front of me and do nothing.
Trying to ignore the rejection from your family, because you said someday everything’s gonna be normal again.
Convincing myself that you have no intention to do all of those, that you did it all only because you didn’t know where it would lead me into.
I don’t like staying among the people who don’t want me, in any other occasion I would have leave, but for you, I would.
Opposing my own mother’s opinion, because I still wanted to fight for us.
Holding on to the weak tiny microscopic string of hope, because you said you still want me.
Agreeing to start all over again, even though my heart’s filled with doubts, because I was thankful that you were still there for me.
You failed to see through it all.
I’ve been trying to leave so many times, but I always failed. I thank you for leaving, so I have no choice but to leave myself. You’ve been lying to yourself--and me--for months, now you don’t need to pretend anymore, at least to me and yourself.
Trying to leave you was really hard, but once I knew you’ve leaved me, it’s unexpectedly easy to walk away.
Thank you for make it so much easier.
I’m counting the day until I can fully say ‘I have let you go’.