you may tire of me, our december sun is setting, im not who i used to be...
who would have thought i could calm myself down with music? im so restless, SO anxious.... all the time now. like im the edge of something always, but never quite reaching it. I dont even know what that is. Every moment, it's something new.
i wonder if i keep doing this because i'm weak and i give in or if it's because for some odd reason, i need to keep myself down. i deserve more. im strong enough to know that, but too weak to realize i can find happiness other places. happiness isn't quite equated with the things it used to be, so where do i look? when everything changes all around you, when you change... how do you just find peace.
i need some equilibrium. i need everything to match up for just a little bit.
i've never felt so close.
i wonder if i keep doing this because i'm weak and i give in or if it's because for some odd reason, i need to keep myself down. i deserve more. im strong enough to know that, but too weak to realize i can find happiness other places. happiness isn't quite equated with the things it used to be, so where do i look? when everything changes all around you, when you change... how do you just find peace.
i need some equilibrium. i need everything to match up for just a little bit.
i've never felt so close.