Sep 18, 2006 20:15
so i dont understand myself...like im a typically happy person, energic and what not...people tell me im always smiling and happy and that its basically impossible for me 2 lie...but for some reason today i feel great depression...i dont get it..i mean it happens every once and a while..but its just like i dont know what to do...it has to be because of womens shit..i mean i kinda like danielle still but i know shes a bad idea for me to get involved with..but when i know shes hanging out with other guys it makes me mad...i dont know..its like i dont want her but i dont want her to be with anyone either...i know thats fucked up but thats how it is, plus it doesnt help when everyone in her sorority loves me and tells me how im perfect for her and all this shit..but i dont see it..like theres no emotion left...so i think i basically lie to myself about emotions..thats what i have come up with...cause the happy go lucky everyone sees me as isnt always the case...i just need to find a new girl i guess...i just dont think this whole being bored is helping me at all...but in any case...life is good..just random depression...thats all...like once a month...ill get over it..but its not like i have someone to talk to about this shit...i mean i dont feel comfy telling any guys casue they dont care and the only girl i ever talk feelings to is danielle's best friend, carolyn...so i dont know..ill just make due..