The world does not want Axiom to sleep
I went to bed at 3am, I think, and now it is 10am. Hello world!
I'm not sure what the hell happened, as I lay there far from dead to the world I figured out Conan looked better with the beard, and why Fox News outrates CNN.
Why am I sharing these shocking revelation instead of going back to bed? No goddamn clue, and this is more fun than eating rice cakes while wondering if I should walk all the way to McDonald's for breakfast, and would this cancel out the fact I'd be eating Sausage McMuffin's for breakfast.
I understand that the only thing the internet hates more than Fox News is Scientology, but I finally get why it's so damn popular...Fox News I mean, not Dianetics. Man I phrased that badly, you make sure I remember to rewrite this before I post it okay?
Anyway, as a cable news junkie, I finally understand why it's so popular. The other stations are so careful about what they say, so bland and so measured, that it's no wonder a channel that wears its bias on its sleeve and shouts down opponents rates better.
"But Axi!" You say in a surprised, but strangely aroused by my presence way, "They barely report news, and what news they do report is always tilted right!"
To that I say, "True!" and "Their problems aligning text aside, please control yourself sir, the heavy breathing is disturbing and your grammar awful."
Yours is a moot point anyway, you creepy bastard! While CNN International is great, (Hour long uncensored Daily Show recaps!) CNN America isn't exactly centrist, and replaces shouting and arrogance with vapidity and smugness.
If you want to see unbiased reporting of the news, don't even try finding it from something originating from America. Be happy though Yanks, you have news coverage that slants two ways, that's more than some.
CNN America isn't without its merits though, it DOES have that dreamy Anderson Cooper, even if he's countered by the oh so transparently eccentric British guy.
"Oh look at me being so not like anyone you know, wee I'm bumbling about like the political bastard child of Kramer and Hugh Grant!"
You're pandering to Yanks who pretend to think British humour is naturally sophisticated by playing up the overused character of eccentric British guy. I get it, I do, I sometimes say 'crikey' and 'luv' just to be endearing, we're all guilty at some point - but stop being such a fucking whore about it!
Now a Republican may tune into things like BBC and Sky News, or read an A.P. or Reuters report on Yahoo and jump the conclusion that the world is liberally biased.
This isn't the case..well it is in a way, the scary patriotism, rednecks and love for guns are why the rest of the western world is so much more liberal. We're not somehow more civilised and 'better than you' like too many young Americans convince themselves (and we tell you its true). We've just spent generations desperate to not be like America, it's culturally ingrained; yearning to be the coolest western country on the schoolyard by telling our friends 'You think you're not like them, well watch me do this!" while America's back is turned.
Americans as slang for idiots predates Bush, I'm sorry, it's just how the Brits taught us to cope with you being #1 (and you made it so easy, so often), it's just with Bush you stopped coming across as a lovable idiot and more a monkey with a shotgun.
Also if you watch the BBC, you get to hear them call Giuliani, Rudolph.
Where does this all come from, oh right, I just want Rupurt Murdoch to adopt me. This information is so incredibly well considered after all, he should offer a bribe to keep me silent.
Now excuse me, the rain is pouring and it's it's being ruined by the sound of birds chirping. This crystallises my failure to sleep, so I have to go kick them.
hm, I keep thinking I'm forgetting something..oh well nevermind, lure!
Vs.
I'm not sure what the hell happened, as I lay there far from dead to the world I figured out Conan looked better with the beard, and why Fox News outrates CNN.
Why am I sharing these shocking revelation instead of going back to bed? No goddamn clue, and this is more fun than eating rice cakes while wondering if I should walk all the way to McDonald's for breakfast, and would this cancel out the fact I'd be eating Sausage McMuffin's for breakfast.
I understand that the only thing the internet hates more than Fox News is Scientology, but I finally get why it's so damn popular...Fox News I mean, not Dianetics. Man I phrased that badly, you make sure I remember to rewrite this before I post it okay?
Anyway, as a cable news junkie, I finally understand why it's so popular. The other stations are so careful about what they say, so bland and so measured, that it's no wonder a channel that wears its bias on its sleeve and shouts down opponents rates better.
"But Axi!" You say in a surprised, but strangely aroused by my presence way, "They barely report news, and what news they do report is always tilted right!"
To that I say, "True!" and "Their problems aligning text aside, please control yourself sir, the heavy breathing is disturbing and your grammar awful."
Yours is a moot point anyway, you creepy bastard! While CNN International is great, (Hour long uncensored Daily Show recaps!) CNN America isn't exactly centrist, and replaces shouting and arrogance with vapidity and smugness.
If you want to see unbiased reporting of the news, don't even try finding it from something originating from America. Be happy though Yanks, you have news coverage that slants two ways, that's more than some.
CNN America isn't without its merits though, it DOES have that dreamy Anderson Cooper, even if he's countered by the oh so transparently eccentric British guy.
"Oh look at me being so not like anyone you know, wee I'm bumbling about like the political bastard child of Kramer and Hugh Grant!"
You're pandering to Yanks who pretend to think British humour is naturally sophisticated by playing up the overused character of eccentric British guy. I get it, I do, I sometimes say 'crikey' and 'luv' just to be endearing, we're all guilty at some point - but stop being such a fucking whore about it!
Now a Republican may tune into things like BBC and Sky News, or read an A.P. or Reuters report on Yahoo and jump the conclusion that the world is liberally biased.
This isn't the case..well it is in a way, the scary patriotism, rednecks and love for guns are why the rest of the western world is so much more liberal. We're not somehow more civilised and 'better than you' like too many young Americans convince themselves (and we tell you its true). We've just spent generations desperate to not be like America, it's culturally ingrained; yearning to be the coolest western country on the schoolyard by telling our friends 'You think you're not like them, well watch me do this!" while America's back is turned.
Americans as slang for idiots predates Bush, I'm sorry, it's just how the Brits taught us to cope with you being #1 (and you made it so easy, so often), it's just with Bush you stopped coming across as a lovable idiot and more a monkey with a shotgun.
Also if you watch the BBC, you get to hear them call Giuliani, Rudolph.
Where does this all come from, oh right, I just want Rupurt Murdoch to adopt me. This information is so incredibly well considered after all, he should offer a bribe to keep me silent.
Now excuse me, the rain is pouring and it's it's being ruined by the sound of birds chirping. This crystallises my failure to sleep, so I have to go kick them.
hm, I keep thinking I'm forgetting something..oh well nevermind, lure!
Vs.