The Start of a New Life
In a little over 24 hours I will be taking the long car ride out to Cincinnati Ohio... I must have to say that my feelings and thoughts are almost completely different than the night before I left for La Salle. I was excited, a tiny bit nervous, but ready to live on my own and party it up. I wasn't scared to be away from my boyfriend at the time, but I am terrified to be away from Steven. It's funny, we've only been together about four months, but I have never felt this way about any other guy before. I know that he is my soulmate.
I sit here on my comfy bed with my fluffy kitty, my boyfriend only a 20 minute car ride away... and those are what I am really going to miss about this area. It sucks, I wish that NJ had more to offer to me, but I know that I made the right choice to go to UC. I just don't understand why Steven came into my life now.... why couldn't he have come into my life 5 years from now so that I don't have to experience the pain of being away from him. I am NOT going to repeat my mistakes from last year... I am a completely different person in both positive and negative ways.... I dress more maturely (positive) I am more outgoing (positive) I smoke now (negative) and I am deeply in love (positive).... I feel completely different now than I did last year which I hope is a good thing. I am not going to be afraid to make friends like I was last year, I just stuck around Becky last year, a friend from high school.
I haven't cried yet, but I know that I will tomorrow. Everytime I look at my boyfriend and my kittie I want to let the tears just flow from my eyes, but I don't want to be sad... this is a positive experience... This will be good for me. I need to go back to school in a new enviornment where nobody knows my past. That is something that Camden County was not able to provide for me.
I know that I am venting about the most random things, but so many thoughts are going through my mind right now. I am flipping through my Ipod, listening to the wide assortment of songs that I have on here. Songs are like a photoalbum in a way... they bring back memories and thoughts of the time when you listened to those songs on a regular basis. I have a few people that I need to go and say goodbye to tomorrow... there were lots of people that I called, left them messages but they never got back to me.... I don't even care anymore. Many friends were lost in the past year, but I keep them in my heart with all the memories and good times. I'm trying to delete the bad ones so that I can store new ones with new friends.
Now it is time to close this chapter of my life and open up a new one. Hopefully, college will work out this time.
I sit here on my comfy bed with my fluffy kitty, my boyfriend only a 20 minute car ride away... and those are what I am really going to miss about this area. It sucks, I wish that NJ had more to offer to me, but I know that I made the right choice to go to UC. I just don't understand why Steven came into my life now.... why couldn't he have come into my life 5 years from now so that I don't have to experience the pain of being away from him. I am NOT going to repeat my mistakes from last year... I am a completely different person in both positive and negative ways.... I dress more maturely (positive) I am more outgoing (positive) I smoke now (negative) and I am deeply in love (positive).... I feel completely different now than I did last year which I hope is a good thing. I am not going to be afraid to make friends like I was last year, I just stuck around Becky last year, a friend from high school.
I haven't cried yet, but I know that I will tomorrow. Everytime I look at my boyfriend and my kittie I want to let the tears just flow from my eyes, but I don't want to be sad... this is a positive experience... This will be good for me. I need to go back to school in a new enviornment where nobody knows my past. That is something that Camden County was not able to provide for me.
I know that I am venting about the most random things, but so many thoughts are going through my mind right now. I am flipping through my Ipod, listening to the wide assortment of songs that I have on here. Songs are like a photoalbum in a way... they bring back memories and thoughts of the time when you listened to those songs on a regular basis. I have a few people that I need to go and say goodbye to tomorrow... there were lots of people that I called, left them messages but they never got back to me.... I don't even care anymore. Many friends were lost in the past year, but I keep them in my heart with all the memories and good times. I'm trying to delete the bad ones so that I can store new ones with new friends.
Now it is time to close this chapter of my life and open up a new one. Hopefully, college will work out this time.