Melancholy Me...
...so...those of you who have met me may have a certain perception of me...I've gotten cocky, confident...arrogant...etc...
...I think I will share something with you all today...just becuase...
...I was working out today...and as I often do...my workouts aren't just a fragment of time where I simply lift dead weight, I actually do alot of thinking and reflecting...during my rest periods...unless the issue is very disturbing, I shut all thoughts off...anywho...I started thinking about where I am today...I'm in a fairly new relationship...or rather, a new level in my relationship. I have never lived with anyone. The thought of it doesn't scare me, frighten me...nor does it "excite" me...it does however, make me feel very grounded. The excitement isn't the phase of the relationship, it is more on a daily basis, everytime I see her. Everytime I don't; I think about her and reflect on how lucky I am and how much she loves me....enter the gremlin...
...the gremlin plays little games in my head (maybe I should contact that alt.friendly psychotherapist...lol)...to make a long story short...my thoughts were riddled with questions of whether I am worthy of such love...what do I have to offer in return...do I really fulfill her...am I all that interesting? I'm pretty sure there are far more interesting people out there...my intelligence is pretty limited, how can I be all that interesting to talk to...blah blah blah...
These are some of the many thoughts I am plagued with from time to time...and how do I overcome them?...don't really know if I do...I just sorta take a step back (in my head) and remind myself that I am the best me I can be and that if I were not meant to lead a certain life then so be it...but I dare not let such THOUGHTS overwhelm me...and it works...perhaps a band-aid solution...but it works...
Just thought I'd share...ok...so I failed to make it short...so sue me! :P
lol.
B
...I think I will share something with you all today...just becuase...
...I was working out today...and as I often do...my workouts aren't just a fragment of time where I simply lift dead weight, I actually do alot of thinking and reflecting...during my rest periods...unless the issue is very disturbing, I shut all thoughts off...anywho...I started thinking about where I am today...I'm in a fairly new relationship...or rather, a new level in my relationship. I have never lived with anyone. The thought of it doesn't scare me, frighten me...nor does it "excite" me...it does however, make me feel very grounded. The excitement isn't the phase of the relationship, it is more on a daily basis, everytime I see her. Everytime I don't; I think about her and reflect on how lucky I am and how much she loves me....enter the gremlin...
...the gremlin plays little games in my head (maybe I should contact that alt.friendly psychotherapist...lol)...to make a long story short...my thoughts were riddled with questions of whether I am worthy of such love...what do I have to offer in return...do I really fulfill her...am I all that interesting? I'm pretty sure there are far more interesting people out there...my intelligence is pretty limited, how can I be all that interesting to talk to...blah blah blah...
These are some of the many thoughts I am plagued with from time to time...and how do I overcome them?...don't really know if I do...I just sorta take a step back (in my head) and remind myself that I am the best me I can be and that if I were not meant to lead a certain life then so be it...but I dare not let such THOUGHTS overwhelm me...and it works...perhaps a band-aid solution...but it works...
Just thought I'd share...ok...so I failed to make it short...so sue me! :P
lol.
B