family matters.
it's been a blast catching up with the shrubs this last week of december, mostly eating, shopping and the assorted activities, and eating haha.
swimming at their aunt von's on xmas eve
skating at kallang rink
hanging with aunt angie's kids on their cousin eliana's 10th
movies caught
miniature furniture painstakingly assembled
they're the easiest tw/teens to maintain =]
so while waiting for the kids to return from the library so i could take them out for dinner at ikea, i got to reflecting on how i didn't bat an eyelid that they were walking around the streets alone whereas years ago i wouldn't dream of it. granted they're now 11 & 13 but whoa, where did the years go, you know?
5 years ago at this time of the year i was busy packing up the spoils of my 10 year marriage while the kids helped in their own way. jo was starting primary 4 and still needed me to accompany her down the lift for her schoolbus while jill in her own plucky 6 y.o demeanor would wait at home alone and once held on to her hello kitty bedroom slipper when i was locked out and rang the bell and she was afraid it was an intruder haha story for another day...
anyway, 5 years ago, they were still physically dependent and i would never dream of leaving them to their own devices. it makes my heart smile to think that in a span of 5 years, they've really come into their own, and i feel blessed to have witnessed the entire growth, from taking the public bus by themselves to learning to cook simple meals. it seems prosaic, i know, but from a mom's point of view, this is just intrinsically miraculous haha. let's just say when you've seen them from diapers to bras, it's some kind of wonderful =P
i guess this is significant when i've had my fair share of self-doubt, augmented by detractors who frowned upon my unconventional methods of mothering (i believe "immoral" and "irresponsible" were terms used) but what do they know? i think i've done a decent job especially these past 5 years, seeing them cope with new environments, separate homes, shuttling between their dad and mom and still they've survived it with nary a dent in their self-esteem. perhaps my only doing was to be completely honest with them and to never mince nor sugar-coat. and through it all the constant reminder that "family matters"; the loyalty which is unsurpassed by any other forms of relations and till this day, it seems like any transitional crisis they've overcome as a result of their parents' decisions, it is because they've held each other close in their special support system, or as an ex-gf once observed, they're meant to be sisters.
all i know is for the next 5 years they're going to be ok from that strength of their bond alone. as for how i factor in that equation, well like the 13 years before, i will be myself to them. by that i mean the way i best know how, going solely on my maternal instincts on what i feel is 'right' for them. if that earns me a "cool mom" status (to cite the mrs, albeit tinged with bias i'm sure), then more power to me. check back here in 2015 to see if they've evolved into lovely teens haha. -fingers crossed-
swimming at their aunt von's on xmas eve
skating at kallang rink
hanging with aunt angie's kids on their cousin eliana's 10th
movies caught
miniature furniture painstakingly assembled
they're the easiest tw/teens to maintain =]
so while waiting for the kids to return from the library so i could take them out for dinner at ikea, i got to reflecting on how i didn't bat an eyelid that they were walking around the streets alone whereas years ago i wouldn't dream of it. granted they're now 11 & 13 but whoa, where did the years go, you know?
5 years ago at this time of the year i was busy packing up the spoils of my 10 year marriage while the kids helped in their own way. jo was starting primary 4 and still needed me to accompany her down the lift for her schoolbus while jill in her own plucky 6 y.o demeanor would wait at home alone and once held on to her hello kitty bedroom slipper when i was locked out and rang the bell and she was afraid it was an intruder haha story for another day...
anyway, 5 years ago, they were still physically dependent and i would never dream of leaving them to their own devices. it makes my heart smile to think that in a span of 5 years, they've really come into their own, and i feel blessed to have witnessed the entire growth, from taking the public bus by themselves to learning to cook simple meals. it seems prosaic, i know, but from a mom's point of view, this is just intrinsically miraculous haha. let's just say when you've seen them from diapers to bras, it's some kind of wonderful =P
i guess this is significant when i've had my fair share of self-doubt, augmented by detractors who frowned upon my unconventional methods of mothering (i believe "immoral" and "irresponsible" were terms used) but what do they know? i think i've done a decent job especially these past 5 years, seeing them cope with new environments, separate homes, shuttling between their dad and mom and still they've survived it with nary a dent in their self-esteem. perhaps my only doing was to be completely honest with them and to never mince nor sugar-coat. and through it all the constant reminder that "family matters"; the loyalty which is unsurpassed by any other forms of relations and till this day, it seems like any transitional crisis they've overcome as a result of their parents' decisions, it is because they've held each other close in their special support system, or as an ex-gf once observed, they're meant to be sisters.
all i know is for the next 5 years they're going to be ok from that strength of their bond alone. as for how i factor in that equation, well like the 13 years before, i will be myself to them. by that i mean the way i best know how, going solely on my maternal instincts on what i feel is 'right' for them. if that earns me a "cool mom" status (to cite the mrs, albeit tinged with bias i'm sure), then more power to me. check back here in 2015 to see if they've evolved into lovely teens haha. -fingers crossed-