the 'yeow' moments.
somedays i ponder my mortality, not in a morbid way but just in quiet introspection, triggered by witnessing a car-wreck, or some catastrophe on the news, or even something i read*.
so i wonder what it's like after i pass on and they do an emotional autopsy. what will they uncover besides the darkness? well i can list a few of those lovely 'yeow' moments:
1. learning to ride a bike by myself at 8 after weeks of being bruised and battered
2. playing that self-composition on stage with my folks in attendance at my sec 4 farewell concert
3. taking that first soothing drag of a menthol at 17, offered by a flirty boy by the pool (disclaimer: not condoning smoking!)
4. winning that tug-of-war with my team-mates during my final year at kent ridge hall
5. diving amongst a school of hammer-head sharks at layang layang
6. seeing batches of students ace their a levels throughout my 20-odd years of teaching
7. witnessing the birth of my kids -- jo with her impish eyes set on a frail bluish premie frame and jill's puffy-pinkness (with much relief after a challenging 12-hour labour as a 4.5kg baby)
8. reaching the top of an impossible over-hang at a rock-wall
9. first kiss with a girl at dawn on a certain july which blew all my senses
10. seeing the kids dance on stage at their kindergarten graduation ceremony, esp jo as the smallest angel. i recall that one brought tears to both her parents' eyes
i could go on but i think these defining moments, a few which left me in breathless awe are etched eternally because they made everything worth living for.
i guess in all i've had a good run these 4 decades. i just have to remind myself every once in awhile when i let that wretched existential ennui get the better of me.
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* a lit teacher from IJC passed away of a heart attack on saturday. she was alone. the last her students saw of her was during consult just before their paper 5 on fri. may she rest in peace.
so i wonder what it's like after i pass on and they do an emotional autopsy. what will they uncover besides the darkness? well i can list a few of those lovely 'yeow' moments:
1. learning to ride a bike by myself at 8 after weeks of being bruised and battered
2. playing that self-composition on stage with my folks in attendance at my sec 4 farewell concert
3. taking that first soothing drag of a menthol at 17, offered by a flirty boy by the pool (disclaimer: not condoning smoking!)
4. winning that tug-of-war with my team-mates during my final year at kent ridge hall
5. diving amongst a school of hammer-head sharks at layang layang
6. seeing batches of students ace their a levels throughout my 20-odd years of teaching
7. witnessing the birth of my kids -- jo with her impish eyes set on a frail bluish premie frame and jill's puffy-pinkness (with much relief after a challenging 12-hour labour as a 4.5kg baby)
8. reaching the top of an impossible over-hang at a rock-wall
9. first kiss with a girl at dawn on a certain july which blew all my senses
10. seeing the kids dance on stage at their kindergarten graduation ceremony, esp jo as the smallest angel. i recall that one brought tears to both her parents' eyes
i could go on but i think these defining moments, a few which left me in breathless awe are etched eternally because they made everything worth living for.
i guess in all i've had a good run these 4 decades. i just have to remind myself every once in awhile when i let that wretched existential ennui get the better of me.
---
* a lit teacher from IJC passed away of a heart attack on saturday. she was alone. the last her students saw of her was during consult just before their paper 5 on fri. may she rest in peace.