What do I want?
So, I've been thinking recently about what exactly do I want right now.
First, I want a job out of Quincy. Hell, I want a job out of commuting distance of Quincy, just to be safe. I can't help but feel that once I have a job, things are just going to start to fall into place. Perhaps it is wishful thinking. Perhaps not.
Second, I want to move out of my parents house. Yes, rent free is nice. Yes, free food is nice. Yes, free utilities are nice. However, the restrictions that I have to put up with are just too much right now. I've tasted freedom and most certainly don't want to go back on a leash. Additionally, getting me out of the house means that I won't have to fight with dad all the damn time. That shit just gets old.
Third, I want to get a chance to actually express my sexuality. I'm tired of having to watch what I do and say. I want the chance to actually go out and try and find a boyfriend. (I mean, I work in a tanning salon, I should have my pick.) I'm fine with being out, but dad isn't fine with that. I mean, I'm not a freaking boy scout anymore, I shouldn't have to be in the closet. In fact, I got kicked out of the boy scouts because I didn't want to lie and have to hide there again. For heaven sakes, most already knew or guess and just pretended that they didn't. (On which, the boy scouts are going to die out if they don't update their supposed morals. With the fact that they keep kicking out the gays, I find it incredibly ironic that the higher ups are turning out to be pedophiles. That's a fairly serious problem, but extremely ironic.)
Fourth, I want to get out of the emotional rut that I am in right now. I've been so moody that it isn't funny anymore. I mean, when you go from fine to extremely depressive, that is not a good sign. Better yet, I want to know what is causing me to do this. If it is dad, or the fact that I'm having to live at home, or even something else I want to get the opportunity to change it.
First, I want a job out of Quincy. Hell, I want a job out of commuting distance of Quincy, just to be safe. I can't help but feel that once I have a job, things are just going to start to fall into place. Perhaps it is wishful thinking. Perhaps not.
Second, I want to move out of my parents house. Yes, rent free is nice. Yes, free food is nice. Yes, free utilities are nice. However, the restrictions that I have to put up with are just too much right now. I've tasted freedom and most certainly don't want to go back on a leash. Additionally, getting me out of the house means that I won't have to fight with dad all the damn time. That shit just gets old.
Third, I want to get a chance to actually express my sexuality. I'm tired of having to watch what I do and say. I want the chance to actually go out and try and find a boyfriend. (I mean, I work in a tanning salon, I should have my pick.) I'm fine with being out, but dad isn't fine with that. I mean, I'm not a freaking boy scout anymore, I shouldn't have to be in the closet. In fact, I got kicked out of the boy scouts because I didn't want to lie and have to hide there again. For heaven sakes, most already knew or guess and just pretended that they didn't. (On which, the boy scouts are going to die out if they don't update their supposed morals. With the fact that they keep kicking out the gays, I find it incredibly ironic that the higher ups are turning out to be pedophiles. That's a fairly serious problem, but extremely ironic.)
Fourth, I want to get out of the emotional rut that I am in right now. I've been so moody that it isn't funny anymore. I mean, when you go from fine to extremely depressive, that is not a good sign. Better yet, I want to know what is causing me to do this. If it is dad, or the fact that I'm having to live at home, or even something else I want to get the opportunity to change it.