.I cry for you because I love you.
This is the first time this has happened to me. Im not sure what Im feeling about it but Im really upset. I just told Megan yesterday about my cousin Kenny James. He was just born last month and apparently he died last night. He had a lot of problems right from the start. She was a high risk pregnancy to begin with, I believe, because she is older and she had miscarried before. She finally carried Kenny to term and she gave birth to him and he was born not breathing for about 8 min. I know they had to air lift him to a different hospital. They finally got him to breathe and he started having seizures and things like that. He had been in intensive care for the entirety of his life and that is so unbelievably horrible. He never got to experience his life. He didnt get a break from the start. He had been fighting to live since the moment he was born. No one should have to do that. I have prayed for him before when I was told he wasnt doing very well.. and Im thinking that I didnt pray enough. I should have prayed more. I understand that praying may not have done anything, but it shows that there was someone thinking of him when he needed it. I should have prayed more. Im an extremely optimistic person when it comes to certain things... and I guess that is a downfall in this case. I think in the back of my mind I didnt think this would happen. I thought that he would pull through.. that he would fight and win. But I was wrong. And I just wish there was something I could have done. He wasnt in our family for long, but he was part of it and for that I am glad. He was my cousin Kenny James Alvord and he will always be my cousin. He was loved from the moment we found out he was coming. And he will be loved always. His family is having a closed funeral for him on valentines day. Im sure that will be one of the hardest days of their lives. The day will hold a different meaning from now on. Im just so sorry he never had the chance to be with us.
Dear Kenny,
I miss you already buddy. Im sorry I never got to meet you and that you never got to meet the rest of us. You would have loved everyone Im sure. There were a lot of boys in your family that would have only been a few years older than you. You would have had a lot of good role models no matter how crazy they are. But I want you to know that even though you didnt get to spend time with us, you had a family that loved you and that will always love you. We will always remember you and when someone asks how many cousins I have had you will always be included. I love you. You are in a better place Im sure and you can look after the rest of us.
Dear Kenny,
I miss you already buddy. Im sorry I never got to meet you and that you never got to meet the rest of us. You would have loved everyone Im sure. There were a lot of boys in your family that would have only been a few years older than you. You would have had a lot of good role models no matter how crazy they are. But I want you to know that even though you didnt get to spend time with us, you had a family that loved you and that will always love you. We will always remember you and when someone asks how many cousins I have had you will always be included. I love you. You are in a better place Im sure and you can look after the rest of us.