not so wounded anymore.. the final entry
well, here it is. i really dunno what to say. lets talk about my life as of lately? well honestly, i've been doing fine and im actually pretty happy. even though i've been really broke lately and no jobs ever call me back.. i would almost say that im "living the life". i hang out with my friends everyday and thats about it.
so far this summer, i've been hanging out with nick berg a lot. we've been gong out to his swimming pool a lot lately. its been amazing. good swimming sessions and good hangs with good people. i'm glad hes around because without him i wouldnt have anything left. its amazing how we can talk about life and whenever we have a problem with something, we can just talk about it. hes my best friend, for days. i love the kid to death and i really appreciate our friendship.
im completely over trying to get a girlfriend and liking girls. yeah, i've had some crushes this summer but they dont go anywhere. for a while i was getting really angry about it. but i realized that im just soo happy living my life. some day a girl will random appear in my life. but as for now, im just taking it easy.
SAA isnt going as well as i want it to. we have a full length written and things are moving sooo slow. im pretty sure lee hates us all. chris has other bands and anthony lives in seattle. I'm just sick of sitting around and watching my friends bands go somewhere. I wanna be touring and travel the world. but its been really slow. i really hope it picks up because this is all im really holding on to. im pretty sure if SAA falls through, ill probably quit playing music forever. i dunno, nick and i have been working way too hard to let all of this go.
(edit: today 7/29/2010.. lee has quit the band. im going to miss him a lot)
so far this year, i've lost a couple friends.. some of them were huge parts of my life the last few years. theres only one friendship that i hope mends back together, and thats Richie. i still love the guy to death and i've really been meaning to talk to him. Whatever happened between us and whatever i did, i want to apologize. If you didnt notice, im completely over it and i try my hardest to make things not weird between us. I was hoping that we'd just mentally agree that we'll go back to the same. but it never happened.
one day, i received a text message that says "So do you hate me now?" i choose not answer, yeah i feel like a bad guy about it. But i felt like it was better for myself to just not say anything. It's a sign of moving on. for a while i was really focused on making this friendship work but now i just dont care. Things will never be the same and thats that. lets just leave it at this... I dont hate you, i just moved on. I'm sorry.
"you let me down for the last time, truth prevails and theres nothing you can hide. and i wash my hands of you, getting on with my life."
i've been really close with some people that i usually dont hang out with that often.. been getting really close with sean cates, brogan, taylor williams and david clark. those guys are amazing and are such good people. i really appreciate how real these guys can get.
i feel like i have a new circle of friends and whenever im around my other friends now.. i feel like i dont fit in.. i get really uncomfortable and im sorry to say but i almost dont care for them anymore. they've all grown up and have real life shit going on with their lives. its sad when i only see these people every once in a while at parties or at Dominic's. remember those days when we didnt have to play catch up? but its totally understandable.. you all work now, have girlfriends/boyfriends, some of you are even married. good for you, im stoked that you're moving forward with your life but i've lost faith in a lot of people. i really feel like im having a love/hate relationship with gladstone. sometimes i really love it.. but most times i fucking hate it.
i really wish bob would move back up to portland so i can hang out with him more often. hes the missing link of this summer. but i feel like when he does things are going to get even better. i miss the guy a lot.
all i want to do is travel the world for a while and it will hopefully repair this broken relationship with this town. thats when ill be truly happy. im pretty decent right now but if you wanna see me at a new level. lets me travel.
so this is it? the end of an era? its time that i move on and grow up from livejournal. if anyone is interested with whats on my mind.. talk to me in real life or even call me. ill give you a piece of my mind. its been a great 8 years since i first started posting in this journal. ill come by every once in a while to see what my friends are up to. i will be transferring all of these entries into a word document and printing it into a book for memories. you can also visit http://nicka.tumblr.com/ to see some random emotions and pictures from me. anyways, all the friends from the past and girls i use to cry about. thanks for the memories. but i need to move on.
thanks livejournal,
awoundedmiracle
so far this summer, i've been hanging out with nick berg a lot. we've been gong out to his swimming pool a lot lately. its been amazing. good swimming sessions and good hangs with good people. i'm glad hes around because without him i wouldnt have anything left. its amazing how we can talk about life and whenever we have a problem with something, we can just talk about it. hes my best friend, for days. i love the kid to death and i really appreciate our friendship.
im completely over trying to get a girlfriend and liking girls. yeah, i've had some crushes this summer but they dont go anywhere. for a while i was getting really angry about it. but i realized that im just soo happy living my life. some day a girl will random appear in my life. but as for now, im just taking it easy.
SAA isnt going as well as i want it to. we have a full length written and things are moving sooo slow. im pretty sure lee hates us all. chris has other bands and anthony lives in seattle. I'm just sick of sitting around and watching my friends bands go somewhere. I wanna be touring and travel the world. but its been really slow. i really hope it picks up because this is all im really holding on to. im pretty sure if SAA falls through, ill probably quit playing music forever. i dunno, nick and i have been working way too hard to let all of this go.
(edit: today 7/29/2010.. lee has quit the band. im going to miss him a lot)
so far this year, i've lost a couple friends.. some of them were huge parts of my life the last few years. theres only one friendship that i hope mends back together, and thats Richie. i still love the guy to death and i've really been meaning to talk to him. Whatever happened between us and whatever i did, i want to apologize. If you didnt notice, im completely over it and i try my hardest to make things not weird between us. I was hoping that we'd just mentally agree that we'll go back to the same. but it never happened.
one day, i received a text message that says "So do you hate me now?" i choose not answer, yeah i feel like a bad guy about it. But i felt like it was better for myself to just not say anything. It's a sign of moving on. for a while i was really focused on making this friendship work but now i just dont care. Things will never be the same and thats that. lets just leave it at this... I dont hate you, i just moved on. I'm sorry.
"you let me down for the last time, truth prevails and theres nothing you can hide. and i wash my hands of you, getting on with my life."
i've been really close with some people that i usually dont hang out with that often.. been getting really close with sean cates, brogan, taylor williams and david clark. those guys are amazing and are such good people. i really appreciate how real these guys can get.
i feel like i have a new circle of friends and whenever im around my other friends now.. i feel like i dont fit in.. i get really uncomfortable and im sorry to say but i almost dont care for them anymore. they've all grown up and have real life shit going on with their lives. its sad when i only see these people every once in a while at parties or at Dominic's. remember those days when we didnt have to play catch up? but its totally understandable.. you all work now, have girlfriends/boyfriends, some of you are even married. good for you, im stoked that you're moving forward with your life but i've lost faith in a lot of people. i really feel like im having a love/hate relationship with gladstone. sometimes i really love it.. but most times i fucking hate it.
i really wish bob would move back up to portland so i can hang out with him more often. hes the missing link of this summer. but i feel like when he does things are going to get even better. i miss the guy a lot.
all i want to do is travel the world for a while and it will hopefully repair this broken relationship with this town. thats when ill be truly happy. im pretty decent right now but if you wanna see me at a new level. lets me travel.
so this is it? the end of an era? its time that i move on and grow up from livejournal. if anyone is interested with whats on my mind.. talk to me in real life or even call me. ill give you a piece of my mind. its been a great 8 years since i first started posting in this journal. ill come by every once in a while to see what my friends are up to. i will be transferring all of these entries into a word document and printing it into a book for memories. you can also visit http://nicka.tumblr.com/ to see some random emotions and pictures from me. anyways, all the friends from the past and girls i use to cry about. thanks for the memories. but i need to move on.
thanks livejournal,
awoundedmiracle