I've got a SNAKE in my boots :)
So appointment at the doctor's. Trying to get a bit of banter going with the fit nurse. She's all like, "do you have your sample?" (subtext: do you have some dick?) and I'm all, "well, I was gonna bring wine but I thought nothing says romance like a vial of warm urine" and then she laughs but for some reason she's taken the top off and when she laughs she spills it all over hersen...
Line of the Week Used on a Hot Nurse: "oh sorry for pissing all over thi there."
She just laughs again and is all, "you won't believe how often that happens." and I'ma like, "you'd think you'd be more careful."
...smooth :)
And today this lass at work wor telling mi how she's got a vibrator so strong she uses it to tenderise meat when she's cooking and she didn't see what was wrong with sticking something in her cooch and then slapping around some meat with it, or pummeling a slab of raw beef with it and then sticking it up her fanny. She was soooo confused by my horror that she felt the need to explain that she doesn't do it at the same time. "Well I shunt think you do." "Aw reight, well you just had that face." "I had that face?! Dint know I had a face for 'ohmygod you frig yourself whilst cooking a sandwich!'" "...well you do....can you cook a sandwich?"
Good days. My chest still tight though. Should be reight for Sunday :)
Line of the Week Used on a Hot Nurse: "oh sorry for pissing all over thi there."
She just laughs again and is all, "you won't believe how often that happens." and I'ma like, "you'd think you'd be more careful."
...smooth :)
And today this lass at work wor telling mi how she's got a vibrator so strong she uses it to tenderise meat when she's cooking and she didn't see what was wrong with sticking something in her cooch and then slapping around some meat with it, or pummeling a slab of raw beef with it and then sticking it up her fanny. She was soooo confused by my horror that she felt the need to explain that she doesn't do it at the same time. "Well I shunt think you do." "Aw reight, well you just had that face." "I had that face?! Dint know I had a face for 'ohmygod you frig yourself whilst cooking a sandwich!'" "...well you do....can you cook a sandwich?"
Good days. My chest still tight though. Should be reight for Sunday :)