awww...
kward.
i ran into James on my way to The Green Sage (my number one free coffee depot). James is a guy i met a couple of months ago at the Queer We Go Again after party feat. Athens Boy Choir, Talon - the Radical? Queer(i guess), dance troupe and some other bands that i didn't think were very good at all - it just seemed that they were there because it was queers on guitars (too many shitty covers). At that party, i'd gone into the bar next door to escape the torrential downpour and in the process successfully swipe a nearly full pint of brew that'd been abandoned. James was there at the bar, at first interesting conversation and then uninteresting and rather annoying sexual innuendo and inquiries into my sexual tastes. For the most part i liked James but grew tired of him, it seemed that being new friends would be a challenge if he didn't knock it off with the flirting. Not particularly bad in other situations but it seemed to debilitate conversation, making it akward - not fun. As opposed to that fun sort of akward. anyhow, seeing James since is always weird; he looks at me with eyes so intense like he's trying to crack a code. i don't like it. We talk about maybe hanging out, i've taken his number at one occasion and the other few times i've seen him, i looked like i was in a hurry - at least i've hoped so - only having the time to throw out a wave and smile and carry on towards my destination. I'm thinking, give the guy some time to cool down, he might find himself in a good relationship with someone soon, a nice intimate, highly dependent, close attached emotionally binded relationship and maybe then the next time that we see each other and make plans, it won't end up being so tense and weird.
Well, today i ran into him. i saw him up ahead, walking my way and as i'm locking up my bike, he's made it to where i am. i toss him out a high-five but he deflects it and turns it into a hand holding. It's very uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable enough when someone denies a high-five but he was essentially denying it on the grounds that it wasn't intimate enough. A hand holding then, this is doubly weird because he's just looking into me hard again and i'm so not into this. Is he repeating mantras in his head about me or something? ergh! He invited me to a party and then another, one i'd already been invited to and it's all so weird. So i talk a lot, take up space with my words to create a barrier between us, to deflect any silent Law of Attraction intonements that may be getting focused on me. "I'm here to see my partner(reminding him), this is where i get free coffee." He was just on his way there too. To meet a friend. At the counter we stand side by side and talking to madeline, i say "This is Robert." Because i really think that that is his name. She acknowledges this new information and noone says a thing about it. A few minutes later, i'm sitting at a table when a guy comes in and walks up to me, stares right at my face and says, "You don't look like James, I'm looking for James." and it clicks, oh shit, his name is James not Robert. He'd be crazy to not to give up trying to charm me. The crazy thing here really might be that this could all be in my head. Suppose i imagine myself the victim of a sex crazed maniacs fantasy to try to bed me and really he just wants to be friends and for some reason the way he carries himself just really comes off wrong?
nah. Chris confirms it. That guy wants me. but yeah, he dresses drag real nice.
i ran into James on my way to The Green Sage (my number one free coffee depot). James is a guy i met a couple of months ago at the Queer We Go Again after party feat. Athens Boy Choir, Talon - the Radical? Queer(i guess), dance troupe and some other bands that i didn't think were very good at all - it just seemed that they were there because it was queers on guitars (too many shitty covers). At that party, i'd gone into the bar next door to escape the torrential downpour and in the process successfully swipe a nearly full pint of brew that'd been abandoned. James was there at the bar, at first interesting conversation and then uninteresting and rather annoying sexual innuendo and inquiries into my sexual tastes. For the most part i liked James but grew tired of him, it seemed that being new friends would be a challenge if he didn't knock it off with the flirting. Not particularly bad in other situations but it seemed to debilitate conversation, making it akward - not fun. As opposed to that fun sort of akward. anyhow, seeing James since is always weird; he looks at me with eyes so intense like he's trying to crack a code. i don't like it. We talk about maybe hanging out, i've taken his number at one occasion and the other few times i've seen him, i looked like i was in a hurry - at least i've hoped so - only having the time to throw out a wave and smile and carry on towards my destination. I'm thinking, give the guy some time to cool down, he might find himself in a good relationship with someone soon, a nice intimate, highly dependent, close attached emotionally binded relationship and maybe then the next time that we see each other and make plans, it won't end up being so tense and weird.
Well, today i ran into him. i saw him up ahead, walking my way and as i'm locking up my bike, he's made it to where i am. i toss him out a high-five but he deflects it and turns it into a hand holding. It's very uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable enough when someone denies a high-five but he was essentially denying it on the grounds that it wasn't intimate enough. A hand holding then, this is doubly weird because he's just looking into me hard again and i'm so not into this. Is he repeating mantras in his head about me or something? ergh! He invited me to a party and then another, one i'd already been invited to and it's all so weird. So i talk a lot, take up space with my words to create a barrier between us, to deflect any silent Law of Attraction intonements that may be getting focused on me. "I'm here to see my partner(reminding him), this is where i get free coffee." He was just on his way there too. To meet a friend. At the counter we stand side by side and talking to madeline, i say "This is Robert." Because i really think that that is his name. She acknowledges this new information and noone says a thing about it. A few minutes later, i'm sitting at a table when a guy comes in and walks up to me, stares right at my face and says, "You don't look like James, I'm looking for James." and it clicks, oh shit, his name is James not Robert. He'd be crazy to not to give up trying to charm me. The crazy thing here really might be that this could all be in my head. Suppose i imagine myself the victim of a sex crazed maniacs fantasy to try to bed me and really he just wants to be friends and for some reason the way he carries himself just really comes off wrong?
nah. Chris confirms it. That guy wants me. but yeah, he dresses drag real nice.