an obscene (?) phone call...
So a few minutes ago my phone rang (you notice the local time is kinda late?) and there was a guy (without caller-id, of-course) saying a cheerful "hello".
It was obvious that I had no clue who he was. So he asked me if I had no clue who he was. (the conversation was already very sophisticated as you will surely agree)
He said he was Nico, and I said a friendly "Hey Nico!" because I have a friend with the very same name. Who sounds totally different. Huh.
He noticed that I still didn't know who he was. I think I was kinda obvious about it. ("I still don't know who you are!")
So he told me he was my kinda neighbor. And that I was living at *insert my street and number*.
I got suspicious about that time (weeee, aren't I a fast one!)
He then told me that he didn't know if he should call me but he wanted to tell me that when my lights are on you can completely look into my appartment. I had an EEEK! moment then.
As I'm a curious nature I interrogatively placed some smart questions: "Huh?? What?? Seriously??"
He then thought he should make his story a bit more lively (Creative Writing 101) and told me I was very revealing during the last months (!!!) and probably never even thought about it and he just wanted to tell me because who knows who is watching (*insert my snort*) and that I'm probably totally flustered at the moment.
Actually I was more analytic at the moment and started to ask the important questions.
Which window/side?
("Sleeping room." Moooop. Wrong answer. "The next house is quite a bit away on that side." - "Not that much," he says...)
And you're watching for months now? That's so impolite! ("You're living in a dream world if you think even one man wouldn't watch in that situation!")
How did you get my number?
("Looked it up." Uhm, he couldn't have known my name from watching though, just saying...)
Then he says funny things like:
You are very well shaved!
- Me: "huh." (thinking he can't have seen so clearly then.)
And you have pretty g-strings!
- Me: "Ha! (I actually did that exclamation loudly) I don't own one single G-string!"
Ah. well, you know, these a little bit wider ones...
- Me: "Nope. Still wrong."
You have a very nice body.
- Me: (relieved) Good, now I know, you can't have seen anything!
Nonesense, you're like all women! Full of complexes! You have a great bust size.
- Me: Appearances are deceptive!
I just wanted to warn you, which is very nice of me, because now I won't get a free show anymore!!
He was obviously starting to get frustrated with me being not really that embarrassed (great, I can even annoy obscene phone callers in no time! I. HAVE. TALENT!) and wished me a nice rest of the night.
also (despite of the hilarity aspect)? why do the creeps always find me? *whines*