Log: Shay and Bailey
Who: Shay and Bailey
When: Tuesday October 11, 2011
Where: Campus
What: One month anniversary
Bailey bit down on her bottom lip, looking down at the flowers in her hand again. Were they too much? She didn’t know if they were or not. It was her and Shay’s one month anniversary and she wanted to do something nice, especially since they were still on rocky ground after the last fight. But were flowers overkill? She already had a book of poetry shoved into the back pocket of her jeans and a half-formed plan to lure Shay out to the edge of campus, to have some alone time that didn’t take place in a dorm room, but she’d picked up some flowers on a whim. Dirt was still sprinkling off the roots.
She knocked on Shay’s door, the flowers held down low so that no one passing would actually be able to see them unless Bailey turned to talk to them, and waited.
“Bailey,” Shay said as she opened the door, surprised to see her girlfriend on the other side. Of course she’d remembered that it was their anniversary. She’d even bought a gift but with how things had been between them the past few days she wasn’t sure she would actually get to give it. “You’re,” she stepped back when she felt something tickle the top of her feet, “trailing dirt.”
Bailey looked down, slightly embarrassed as some dirt drifted off the bottom of the flowers - a lilac or two, some lilies and a few other flowers she couldn’t really name - and landed at Shay’s feet. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t really think the flower thing through.” She ran her free hand through her hair nervously. “But they’re for you,” she said quietly, handing them to Shay.
“Thank you.” Shay said as she accepted the flowers. She looked over her shoulder, considering a few items in her room, “I don’t have anything to put them in but... I’ll figure it out. Or maybe I can press or dry them.” She stepped back, “Would you like to come in?”
“Actually,” Bailey started, looking past Shay’s shoulder briefly. “I was thinking, hoping, I mean, that you could come out. Of your room,” she added quickly. “I mean, we could take a walk.” She wanted to smack herself in the mouth. She sounded like such an idiot.
Shay almost dropped her flowers but managed to keep her grip until Bailey could correct herself. With PSATs the next day she wasn’t apt to agree immediately. But, it was their anniversary and things were strained between them and she missed her girlfriend. She nodded, turning away for a moment to shake the little bit of remaining dirt off the flowers and into the trash then set them on her desk. She grabbed a hoodie and Bailey’s present off of her bed and her keys before stepping out of her room and locking the door behind her.
Letting out a soft sigh of relief as Shay locked the door, Bailey grinned briefly before dropping her gaze to the floor. They walked side by side down the hall and the stairs. When they got to the front door, Bailey held it open, letting Shay go first. It was a little cool out, fall was just setting in and Bailey wished she’d been smart enough to grab a hoodie like Shay did. But it was just something else she hadn’t thought through. Maybe Shay had a point, making plans all the time. “You look nice today,” she said quietly, touching the poetry book in her pocket to reassure herself as she spoke.
“Thank you.” Shay said as she offered her hoodie to Bailey after she took out the giftwrapped box that’d she’d placed in the pocket. She wasn’t going to just let her girlfriend shiver beside her. “You look nice all the time.”
Shay was lying to her. She felt like she looked awful. Ever since their fight, she hadn’t slept well, too mad at herself for telling Jack something that was none of his business. But Bailey smiled anyway. “Thanks.” She turned down the hoodie. “I’m okay. You should wear it. It’s kind of cool out.”
“But you’re the one who is cold, not me.” Shay said, still holding out the hoodie. She sighed when Bailey didn’t take it. “Seriously, Bailey. It’s not a problem, honestly.”
Knowing that Shay was going to get frustrated, Bailey took the hoodie, pulling it over her head and wrapping her arms around her, holding in it’s warmth. “Thanks, Peach,” she said quietly. When the main walkway went left, Bailey took a few steps to the right, waiting to see if Shay would follow.
Shay adjusted her direction to follow Bailey, sliding her hands into the pockets of her sweats against the slight evening chill. She held Bailey’s gift between her arm and her side looking around trying to figure out where they were going.
“So how was your day?” Bailey asked after a few steps in silence. She could feel her heart racing. She wanted them to be okay.
“I don’t know how I forgot about the PSAT.” Shay sighed, running her free hand through her hair. “I mean I didn’t forget I just... haven’t been in the mood to study. It doesn’t matter. The point is it’s tomorrow and I feel unprepared. I really really don’t like that feeling. You?”
Bailey reached for Shay’s hand, confident that they were alone on this walkway and almost just as confident that Shay wouldn’t pull away. “I bet you’ll still knock ‘em out of the park. Though, if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t remember they were tomorrow until just now.” She laced their fingers together. “My day was okay. S’better now.”
Shay wished Bailey’s unpreparedness could make her feel better but it didn’t. It just reminded her of how different they were. She had a calender with a schedule and Bailey just did... what she felt. Like tell people about them when she shouldn’t. “You’re sweet.” She said, instead of what she was thinking.
“I know I already said it,” Bailey started, taking a deep breath. “But I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” She didn’t look at Shay, taking in the changing leaves on the trees instead. Maybe they’d walk a little more before they stopped.
“It’s okay, Bailey. I’m not...mad.” She let out a breath as she looked around. Watching Bailey look around for a few moments Shay didn’t say anything. But then she smiled slowly as an idea struck her. “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,” she began, “and sorry I could not travel both and be one traveller, long I stood -” Shay had to stop as she began to laugh as Bailey turned to look at her in horror.
Bailey felt her eyes grow wide with dread. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “No, no, no. Don’t you dare!” She wrapped her arms around Shay’s waist, holding her still. “Are you trying to make my heart bleed?” she asked quietly. “You just stabbed my soul with your pointy, pointy words.”
Without thinking Shay leaned forward to press her lips to Bailey’s neck. She slowly climbed the column of smooth skin until she found Bailey’s pulse. If they were alone enough to hold hands they were alone enough for her to do this. “I don’t know.” She mumbled. “It seems to be working fine.”
“It’s an illusion,” Bailey whispered, pressing her nose into Shay’s hair. “You only think it’s working, when really, it’s not.”
“Really?” Shay asked, moving her free hand to the small of Bailey’s back. “It feels like it’s going pretty fast. But, if you say it’s not working how do I fix it?”
“You could kiss me,” Bailey offered. “Maybe...”
Shay pulled back, she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t realized this before but she was a bit taller than Bailey and she actually had to look down at her slightly. “Well, I’m no doctor so I guess I just have to trust you.” Unconsciously she ran her tongue across her bottom lip before leaning forward to kiss Bailey.
Bailey lingered for a long moment, pulling back and licking her lips quickly, tasting Shay on the tip of her tongue. “All better,” she said, her voice hoarse.
Shay smiled slowly, “anything for you.”
Matching Shay’s smile, Bailey stared at her girlfriend for a minute before shaking her head. “Okay, come on.” They were off the main walkway, but she wanted to go further, more towards the edge of campus. Gently, arms still wrapped around Shay, Bailey nudged her further along.
As they walked Shay pulled away, keeping their fingers clasped their arms stretched between them as she jumped in a few piles of early fallen leaves. Hearing the satisfying crunch under her feet she looked over her shoulder at Bailey, smiling as she tugged her close for a moment to kiss her again.
Bailey laughed into the kiss. Seeing Shay jump into even a small pile of leaves rattled something inside her chest. Shay was gorgeous all the time, but even more so when she did something like that. “I missed you today.”
“Mmm,” Shay replied as she stretched out to step on another leaf. “Sorry,” she said turning her attention back to Bailey, “It’s like bubble wrap.” She picked her way around a few green leaves, there wasn’t any point in stepping on those. “I think we’ve been avoiding each other.” She eyed Bailey, “maybe?”
Bailey smiled sheepishly. “Only a little bit. But I’m realizing now how stupid that was,” she said, leaning in to kiss the corner of Shay’s mouth.
“We’ve both been just... feeling a lot of things.” Shay said. “I think it’s okay if we needed time apart. Not that I didn’t miss you too. But I’m not mad about that either. I know I needed time to think.”
Hesitantly, Bailey brushed a piece of falling leaf out of Shay’s hair. “Well, I’m done needing time to think. If you need more time, I... understand. You just have to tell me.”
“As long as you understand why I was upset and as long as you know that I am really sorry about how I...reacted. I don’t think it was okay and I’m not at all proud of it. I don’t want you to worry about me doing something like that. I like you. I want to be with you.” Shay tugged Bailey into her side. “Then I’m okay and we’re okay.”
“We’re okay,” Bailey echoed, nodding. “I do understand and I swear on my surfboard that I will never, ever do that again, okay?” She paused, fighting a smile. “Though, you should know... I hit Jack.” She figured Shay didn’t need to know that Jack mostly provoked it, by trying to kiss her, but just that she hit him anyway.
“You didn’t.” Shay said looking over at Bailey with wide eyes. “Oh my goodness you did.” Another thought popped into her head and she hesitated before speaking. “If we’re saying things that the other should know I think you should know that Rachel, Rachel my brother’s girlfriend, sort of knows.” She quickly added, “Not about us specifically. Of course I wouldn’t tell her without asking you. But she sort of knows about me.”
Bailey nodded slowly. She almost wished this Rachel girl did know about them. It would make her feel a little less guilty about Jack knowing. “Are you okay? About her knowing?”
Shay blushed as she recalled the conversation she’d had with Rachel. “Yeah, she - yeah. She’s cool about it.”
Bailey smiled crookedly. “Good, then. I like her already.” She leaned in and kissed Shay softly.
Suddenly uncoordinated Shay had to stop walking to kiss Bailey back. “Where are you taking me?” She asked again, this time she cared much less about the answer.
“The woods. To dispose of the body,” Bailey deadpanned. She grinned after a moment. “I’m kidding. There’s a clearing over that way. There may or may not be a blanket there. I can’t really say.”
“Can you say if there are candles?” Shay asked. “So I can prepare myself and not laugh.” She frowned slightly. “But really so I can know if I should be prepared for you burning down the woods.”
Bailey bit her lip, looking guiltily up at Shay. “Are you really going to laugh if there’s candles?”
“No,” Shay said shaking her head, “I will just... kiss you and it’ll be great.” Sometimes it amused her how romantic Bailey liked to be. Especially since she had to know that Shay didn’t actually need the flowers and the candles to have a great one month. But, Shay was willing to enjoy those things for Bailey.
“Damn,” Bailey sighed. She untangled herself from Shay’s hold and took her hand, continuing to lead her towards the clearing. “Now I wish I had thought of candles.” She hid her smile as they got to the blanket she’d tossed out haphazardly into the clearing. She might not have brought candles, but she did have a wrapped present and some poetry in her back pocket and some hot chocolate she managed to smuggle out of the dining hall. It helped that the lunch lady adored her.
“It’s for the best.” Shay said, looking around at the spot Bailey had picked out. “I’d probably be worried that a leaf would fall into one and I’m thinking you don’t want me distracted tonight. This is very sweet. I might even call it perfect.”
Bailey smiled softly and sat down, beckoning Shay to sit next to her. “I know you’re not a huge fan of this stuff, but thank you for thinking it’s sweet anyway.” She pulled the book out of her pocket and put it down so she could sit without getting a papercut in her backside. “I just wanted to see you and it’s nice out and I missed you and... yeah.”
Shay situated herself so that she could rest her head in Bailey’s lap. She held Bailey’s present on her stomach with her hands folded over top of it. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it.” Shay said, looking up at Bailey. “It’s just that I have you.” She shrugged. “What else do I need?”
“Now who’s being a sap,” Bailey murmured, brushing her hand over Shay’s hair. “I did get you something, though. Like, a real something. Like, not dirty flowers something.”
“Not me.” Shay said, eyes closing at Bailey’s touch. “I’m just being honest. I’m pretty sure there is a difference.” She laughed lightly, eyes still closed, as Bailey continued. “I liked my flowers, dirt and all. But,” she peaked up at Bailey through one eye, “I’m not going to say no to other presents.”
Bailey laughed softly. “Of course you won’t.” Stretching back, trying not to dislodge Shay off her lap, she handed Shay the wrapped gift. “Sorry for the Christmas paper. It’s all I could find.” She hadn’t gotten Shay much, just another sketchbook, but she had written Pablo Neruda’s “Tie Your Heart At Night To Mine, Love” on the inside cover and dated it.
“It’s okay.” Shay handed Bailey her present as she took Bailey’s. “I’m pretty lucky that Lola has arts and crafts stuff.” She sat up and then turned around. Over the years she’d been drawing she’d received enough sketchbooks to guess what was wrapped up for her. “Who’s going first?” She asked, carefully picking at one corner of the wrapping paper.
“Same time?” Bailey asked, sliding her finger under a piece of tape holding the wrapping paper together.
Shay nodded, “Ready? Go.” Looking down at her gift she carefully unwrapped what she thought was the bottom then tilted it up so whatever was inside could slide out. Catching the book before it could hit her lap she sat the wrapping paper shell aside and ran her hand over the cool leather cover.
Bailey bit her lip as she watched Shay open the sketchbook. It was such a lame present. She turned her focus to the present in her lap. Slowly, she unwrapped it, mouth dropping open a little as the bracelet spilled into her hands. “Shay,” she breathed out. “This is perfect.” She looked up, smiling. “God, my present sucks, but... open it,” she said sheepishly.
“No it doesn’t.” Shay said quickly, holding the book to her chest as she leaned forward to kiss Bailey. Settling back she flipped through the book, smiling as the thick and smooth pages moved beneath her fingers. When she reached the first page she looked up at Bailey for a moment then back down at the words that had been written. “It’s perfect.” She smiled, looking up at Bailey once she was finished. “I’m not sure I even want to draw in this now.”
“You have to,” Bailey said, shaking her head. “And they all have to be pictures of me.” She smiled and leaned towards Shay, kissing her. “Thank you for the bracelet.”
Shay reached up, the tips of her fingers sliding along Bailey’s cheek before she slid her hand into Bailey’s hair. “Thank you for being my girlfriend.” She mumbled into the kiss. “But, if you want me to fill this book with sketches of you I might have to spend a creepy amount of time staring, fair warning.”
Sitting her present next to her, Bailey wound both arms around Shay’s waist. “Duly noted,” she murmured back, her eyes sliding closed as she kissed Shay deeply.
“I wouldn’t mind.” Shay murmured as she pulled Bailey into her lap. Tilting her head up to continue the kiss she slid her hands into the pocket of her hoodie that Bailey was wearing, keeping her close.
“I wouldn’t either,” Bailey whispered back, moving her hands to Shay’s hair, winding loose strands around her fingers.
Shay shivered as Bailey’s fingers moved through her hair. She knew it was getting cold but with Bailey pressed so close she couldn’t feel anything but the other girl’s warmth. From where her hands rested she could feel Bailey inhale and exhale. As they kissed she smiled to herself every time something she did messed up the pattern.
Panting softly, Bailey pushed her tongue past the seam of Shay’s lips. She liked this feeling that she got, where everything was on fire and Shay’s hands were even hotter, burning through her clothes.
Shay leaned back, the muscles in her stomach tensed as she moved slowly so that she could keep kissing Bailey. The ground was cold and hard against her back but Bailey was soft and warm above her.
Bailey pressed one hand into the ground to hold herself above Shay, her knees settling on the sides of Shay’s hips. Using the hand still in Shay’s hair, she tilted Shay’s head back, kissing down her over the ridge of her chin, following the line of her neck.
They kissed a lot. Not an inordinate amount because they both had other things to do but there was generally a lot of kissing when they were alone. As Shay blinked up at the trees above her she wondered if doing this with Bailey would ever stop pushing her to the edge of her self control. She bit her bottom lip as she turned her head to further expose the skin of her neck to Bailey’s lips. She realized she had handfuls of the blanket clutched in her fists and she flattened her palms against the fabric. Arching beneath Bailey she let out a shaky breath as her eyes fluttered closed.
Bailey could feel Shay’s shaky pulse under her lips. She paused, breathing softly against Shay’s neck. “You okay?” she couldn’t but ask. She didn’t want to push Shay any more than Shay wanted to go.
“Yes.” Shay swallowed hard. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course you can,” Bailey murmured.
“I just want to know how,” Shay gently pushed at Bailey’s shoulder so that she would sit up and she could see her face. “How far you think you’re ready to...go? Not now. And this isn’t the 50s so I probably could’ve phrased that better. But, I think you know what I’m asking. I-I feel like I say no a lot and I just want to know what you want.”
Bailey paused, looking at Shay quietly. “I... Don’t know,” she said finally. “Everything we do feels really good and... and... I know I haven’t done a ton, you know, like this, but.” She scratched the back of her neck. “But every time I touch you, I never want to stop. And... I feel okay about that.” She frowned. “Does that make sense?”
Shay nodded. “I just don’t want you to think that we’re never going to do... stuff. Because, like, we are. I mean I want to. I kinda want to do something now well, really, all the time when we do this. But, I really like talking to you and just being around you and I don’t want the kissing parts of our relationship to mess up the other parts.”
“I don’t want it to either,” Bailey agreed. She gave Shay a crooked smile and sat back. “And they won’t, I promise.” She beckoned Shay closer until the other girl was close enough to touch again. She brushed some of Shay’s hair behind her ear. “We’re both figuring it out. One step at a time, okay? Because I really like talking to you too. And I really like kissing you. And we can do those separately or together or whatever you want.”
“I want you to wear that bracelet so that I can have my own secret symbol. And I want you to maybe soon, if you want, let me get a little further in the backseat at the drive-in.” Shay looked down then quickly back up. “Only if you want.”
Bailey grinned widely. “Are we going steady, now, Mary Sue?” She reached forward and tipped Shay’s head up so they could make eye contact. “I want. I do. Whenever we’re ready, okay?”
“One month strong, Mary Jane. Or would you prefer Mary Ann?” Shay thought for a moment. “Bailey is pretty gender neutral though.” She turned her head, pressing a kiss to the inside of Bailey’s wrist. “I guess we’ll just know.”
“We will,” Bailey agreed, Pulling Shay closer, Bailey turned until Shay was practically in her lap, reaching for her book. “To be honest, I just brought you out here to read poetry to you. If you wanna listen.”
Shay smiled, resting her head on Bailey’s shoulder. “Of course.”
When: Tuesday October 11, 2011
Where: Campus
What: One month anniversary
Bailey bit down on her bottom lip, looking down at the flowers in her hand again. Were they too much? She didn’t know if they were or not. It was her and Shay’s one month anniversary and she wanted to do something nice, especially since they were still on rocky ground after the last fight. But were flowers overkill? She already had a book of poetry shoved into the back pocket of her jeans and a half-formed plan to lure Shay out to the edge of campus, to have some alone time that didn’t take place in a dorm room, but she’d picked up some flowers on a whim. Dirt was still sprinkling off the roots.
She knocked on Shay’s door, the flowers held down low so that no one passing would actually be able to see them unless Bailey turned to talk to them, and waited.
“Bailey,” Shay said as she opened the door, surprised to see her girlfriend on the other side. Of course she’d remembered that it was their anniversary. She’d even bought a gift but with how things had been between them the past few days she wasn’t sure she would actually get to give it. “You’re,” she stepped back when she felt something tickle the top of her feet, “trailing dirt.”
Bailey looked down, slightly embarrassed as some dirt drifted off the bottom of the flowers - a lilac or two, some lilies and a few other flowers she couldn’t really name - and landed at Shay’s feet. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t really think the flower thing through.” She ran her free hand through her hair nervously. “But they’re for you,” she said quietly, handing them to Shay.
“Thank you.” Shay said as she accepted the flowers. She looked over her shoulder, considering a few items in her room, “I don’t have anything to put them in but... I’ll figure it out. Or maybe I can press or dry them.” She stepped back, “Would you like to come in?”
“Actually,” Bailey started, looking past Shay’s shoulder briefly. “I was thinking, hoping, I mean, that you could come out. Of your room,” she added quickly. “I mean, we could take a walk.” She wanted to smack herself in the mouth. She sounded like such an idiot.
Shay almost dropped her flowers but managed to keep her grip until Bailey could correct herself. With PSATs the next day she wasn’t apt to agree immediately. But, it was their anniversary and things were strained between them and she missed her girlfriend. She nodded, turning away for a moment to shake the little bit of remaining dirt off the flowers and into the trash then set them on her desk. She grabbed a hoodie and Bailey’s present off of her bed and her keys before stepping out of her room and locking the door behind her.
Letting out a soft sigh of relief as Shay locked the door, Bailey grinned briefly before dropping her gaze to the floor. They walked side by side down the hall and the stairs. When they got to the front door, Bailey held it open, letting Shay go first. It was a little cool out, fall was just setting in and Bailey wished she’d been smart enough to grab a hoodie like Shay did. But it was just something else she hadn’t thought through. Maybe Shay had a point, making plans all the time. “You look nice today,” she said quietly, touching the poetry book in her pocket to reassure herself as she spoke.
“Thank you.” Shay said as she offered her hoodie to Bailey after she took out the giftwrapped box that’d she’d placed in the pocket. She wasn’t going to just let her girlfriend shiver beside her. “You look nice all the time.”
Shay was lying to her. She felt like she looked awful. Ever since their fight, she hadn’t slept well, too mad at herself for telling Jack something that was none of his business. But Bailey smiled anyway. “Thanks.” She turned down the hoodie. “I’m okay. You should wear it. It’s kind of cool out.”
“But you’re the one who is cold, not me.” Shay said, still holding out the hoodie. She sighed when Bailey didn’t take it. “Seriously, Bailey. It’s not a problem, honestly.”
Knowing that Shay was going to get frustrated, Bailey took the hoodie, pulling it over her head and wrapping her arms around her, holding in it’s warmth. “Thanks, Peach,” she said quietly. When the main walkway went left, Bailey took a few steps to the right, waiting to see if Shay would follow.
Shay adjusted her direction to follow Bailey, sliding her hands into the pockets of her sweats against the slight evening chill. She held Bailey’s gift between her arm and her side looking around trying to figure out where they were going.
“So how was your day?” Bailey asked after a few steps in silence. She could feel her heart racing. She wanted them to be okay.
“I don’t know how I forgot about the PSAT.” Shay sighed, running her free hand through her hair. “I mean I didn’t forget I just... haven’t been in the mood to study. It doesn’t matter. The point is it’s tomorrow and I feel unprepared. I really really don’t like that feeling. You?”
Bailey reached for Shay’s hand, confident that they were alone on this walkway and almost just as confident that Shay wouldn’t pull away. “I bet you’ll still knock ‘em out of the park. Though, if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t remember they were tomorrow until just now.” She laced their fingers together. “My day was okay. S’better now.”
Shay wished Bailey’s unpreparedness could make her feel better but it didn’t. It just reminded her of how different they were. She had a calender with a schedule and Bailey just did... what she felt. Like tell people about them when she shouldn’t. “You’re sweet.” She said, instead of what she was thinking.
“I know I already said it,” Bailey started, taking a deep breath. “But I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” She didn’t look at Shay, taking in the changing leaves on the trees instead. Maybe they’d walk a little more before they stopped.
“It’s okay, Bailey. I’m not...mad.” She let out a breath as she looked around. Watching Bailey look around for a few moments Shay didn’t say anything. But then she smiled slowly as an idea struck her. “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,” she began, “and sorry I could not travel both and be one traveller, long I stood -” Shay had to stop as she began to laugh as Bailey turned to look at her in horror.
Bailey felt her eyes grow wide with dread. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “No, no, no. Don’t you dare!” She wrapped her arms around Shay’s waist, holding her still. “Are you trying to make my heart bleed?” she asked quietly. “You just stabbed my soul with your pointy, pointy words.”
Without thinking Shay leaned forward to press her lips to Bailey’s neck. She slowly climbed the column of smooth skin until she found Bailey’s pulse. If they were alone enough to hold hands they were alone enough for her to do this. “I don’t know.” She mumbled. “It seems to be working fine.”
“It’s an illusion,” Bailey whispered, pressing her nose into Shay’s hair. “You only think it’s working, when really, it’s not.”
“Really?” Shay asked, moving her free hand to the small of Bailey’s back. “It feels like it’s going pretty fast. But, if you say it’s not working how do I fix it?”
“You could kiss me,” Bailey offered. “Maybe...”
Shay pulled back, she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t realized this before but she was a bit taller than Bailey and she actually had to look down at her slightly. “Well, I’m no doctor so I guess I just have to trust you.” Unconsciously she ran her tongue across her bottom lip before leaning forward to kiss Bailey.
Bailey lingered for a long moment, pulling back and licking her lips quickly, tasting Shay on the tip of her tongue. “All better,” she said, her voice hoarse.
Shay smiled slowly, “anything for you.”
Matching Shay’s smile, Bailey stared at her girlfriend for a minute before shaking her head. “Okay, come on.” They were off the main walkway, but she wanted to go further, more towards the edge of campus. Gently, arms still wrapped around Shay, Bailey nudged her further along.
As they walked Shay pulled away, keeping their fingers clasped their arms stretched between them as she jumped in a few piles of early fallen leaves. Hearing the satisfying crunch under her feet she looked over her shoulder at Bailey, smiling as she tugged her close for a moment to kiss her again.
Bailey laughed into the kiss. Seeing Shay jump into even a small pile of leaves rattled something inside her chest. Shay was gorgeous all the time, but even more so when she did something like that. “I missed you today.”
“Mmm,” Shay replied as she stretched out to step on another leaf. “Sorry,” she said turning her attention back to Bailey, “It’s like bubble wrap.” She picked her way around a few green leaves, there wasn’t any point in stepping on those. “I think we’ve been avoiding each other.” She eyed Bailey, “maybe?”
Bailey smiled sheepishly. “Only a little bit. But I’m realizing now how stupid that was,” she said, leaning in to kiss the corner of Shay’s mouth.
“We’ve both been just... feeling a lot of things.” Shay said. “I think it’s okay if we needed time apart. Not that I didn’t miss you too. But I’m not mad about that either. I know I needed time to think.”
Hesitantly, Bailey brushed a piece of falling leaf out of Shay’s hair. “Well, I’m done needing time to think. If you need more time, I... understand. You just have to tell me.”
“As long as you understand why I was upset and as long as you know that I am really sorry about how I...reacted. I don’t think it was okay and I’m not at all proud of it. I don’t want you to worry about me doing something like that. I like you. I want to be with you.” Shay tugged Bailey into her side. “Then I’m okay and we’re okay.”
“We’re okay,” Bailey echoed, nodding. “I do understand and I swear on my surfboard that I will never, ever do that again, okay?” She paused, fighting a smile. “Though, you should know... I hit Jack.” She figured Shay didn’t need to know that Jack mostly provoked it, by trying to kiss her, but just that she hit him anyway.
“You didn’t.” Shay said looking over at Bailey with wide eyes. “Oh my goodness you did.” Another thought popped into her head and she hesitated before speaking. “If we’re saying things that the other should know I think you should know that Rachel, Rachel my brother’s girlfriend, sort of knows.” She quickly added, “Not about us specifically. Of course I wouldn’t tell her without asking you. But she sort of knows about me.”
Bailey nodded slowly. She almost wished this Rachel girl did know about them. It would make her feel a little less guilty about Jack knowing. “Are you okay? About her knowing?”
Shay blushed as she recalled the conversation she’d had with Rachel. “Yeah, she - yeah. She’s cool about it.”
Bailey smiled crookedly. “Good, then. I like her already.” She leaned in and kissed Shay softly.
Suddenly uncoordinated Shay had to stop walking to kiss Bailey back. “Where are you taking me?” She asked again, this time she cared much less about the answer.
“The woods. To dispose of the body,” Bailey deadpanned. She grinned after a moment. “I’m kidding. There’s a clearing over that way. There may or may not be a blanket there. I can’t really say.”
“Can you say if there are candles?” Shay asked. “So I can prepare myself and not laugh.” She frowned slightly. “But really so I can know if I should be prepared for you burning down the woods.”
Bailey bit her lip, looking guiltily up at Shay. “Are you really going to laugh if there’s candles?”
“No,” Shay said shaking her head, “I will just... kiss you and it’ll be great.” Sometimes it amused her how romantic Bailey liked to be. Especially since she had to know that Shay didn’t actually need the flowers and the candles to have a great one month. But, Shay was willing to enjoy those things for Bailey.
“Damn,” Bailey sighed. She untangled herself from Shay’s hold and took her hand, continuing to lead her towards the clearing. “Now I wish I had thought of candles.” She hid her smile as they got to the blanket she’d tossed out haphazardly into the clearing. She might not have brought candles, but she did have a wrapped present and some poetry in her back pocket and some hot chocolate she managed to smuggle out of the dining hall. It helped that the lunch lady adored her.
“It’s for the best.” Shay said, looking around at the spot Bailey had picked out. “I’d probably be worried that a leaf would fall into one and I’m thinking you don’t want me distracted tonight. This is very sweet. I might even call it perfect.”
Bailey smiled softly and sat down, beckoning Shay to sit next to her. “I know you’re not a huge fan of this stuff, but thank you for thinking it’s sweet anyway.” She pulled the book out of her pocket and put it down so she could sit without getting a papercut in her backside. “I just wanted to see you and it’s nice out and I missed you and... yeah.”
Shay situated herself so that she could rest her head in Bailey’s lap. She held Bailey’s present on her stomach with her hands folded over top of it. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it.” Shay said, looking up at Bailey. “It’s just that I have you.” She shrugged. “What else do I need?”
“Now who’s being a sap,” Bailey murmured, brushing her hand over Shay’s hair. “I did get you something, though. Like, a real something. Like, not dirty flowers something.”
“Not me.” Shay said, eyes closing at Bailey’s touch. “I’m just being honest. I’m pretty sure there is a difference.” She laughed lightly, eyes still closed, as Bailey continued. “I liked my flowers, dirt and all. But,” she peaked up at Bailey through one eye, “I’m not going to say no to other presents.”
Bailey laughed softly. “Of course you won’t.” Stretching back, trying not to dislodge Shay off her lap, she handed Shay the wrapped gift. “Sorry for the Christmas paper. It’s all I could find.” She hadn’t gotten Shay much, just another sketchbook, but she had written Pablo Neruda’s “Tie Your Heart At Night To Mine, Love” on the inside cover and dated it.
“It’s okay.” Shay handed Bailey her present as she took Bailey’s. “I’m pretty lucky that Lola has arts and crafts stuff.” She sat up and then turned around. Over the years she’d been drawing she’d received enough sketchbooks to guess what was wrapped up for her. “Who’s going first?” She asked, carefully picking at one corner of the wrapping paper.
“Same time?” Bailey asked, sliding her finger under a piece of tape holding the wrapping paper together.
Shay nodded, “Ready? Go.” Looking down at her gift she carefully unwrapped what she thought was the bottom then tilted it up so whatever was inside could slide out. Catching the book before it could hit her lap she sat the wrapping paper shell aside and ran her hand over the cool leather cover.
Bailey bit her lip as she watched Shay open the sketchbook. It was such a lame present. She turned her focus to the present in her lap. Slowly, she unwrapped it, mouth dropping open a little as the bracelet spilled into her hands. “Shay,” she breathed out. “This is perfect.” She looked up, smiling. “God, my present sucks, but... open it,” she said sheepishly.
“No it doesn’t.” Shay said quickly, holding the book to her chest as she leaned forward to kiss Bailey. Settling back she flipped through the book, smiling as the thick and smooth pages moved beneath her fingers. When she reached the first page she looked up at Bailey for a moment then back down at the words that had been written. “It’s perfect.” She smiled, looking up at Bailey once she was finished. “I’m not sure I even want to draw in this now.”
“You have to,” Bailey said, shaking her head. “And they all have to be pictures of me.” She smiled and leaned towards Shay, kissing her. “Thank you for the bracelet.”
Shay reached up, the tips of her fingers sliding along Bailey’s cheek before she slid her hand into Bailey’s hair. “Thank you for being my girlfriend.” She mumbled into the kiss. “But, if you want me to fill this book with sketches of you I might have to spend a creepy amount of time staring, fair warning.”
Sitting her present next to her, Bailey wound both arms around Shay’s waist. “Duly noted,” she murmured back, her eyes sliding closed as she kissed Shay deeply.
“I wouldn’t mind.” Shay murmured as she pulled Bailey into her lap. Tilting her head up to continue the kiss she slid her hands into the pocket of her hoodie that Bailey was wearing, keeping her close.
“I wouldn’t either,” Bailey whispered back, moving her hands to Shay’s hair, winding loose strands around her fingers.
Shay shivered as Bailey’s fingers moved through her hair. She knew it was getting cold but with Bailey pressed so close she couldn’t feel anything but the other girl’s warmth. From where her hands rested she could feel Bailey inhale and exhale. As they kissed she smiled to herself every time something she did messed up the pattern.
Panting softly, Bailey pushed her tongue past the seam of Shay’s lips. She liked this feeling that she got, where everything was on fire and Shay’s hands were even hotter, burning through her clothes.
Shay leaned back, the muscles in her stomach tensed as she moved slowly so that she could keep kissing Bailey. The ground was cold and hard against her back but Bailey was soft and warm above her.
Bailey pressed one hand into the ground to hold herself above Shay, her knees settling on the sides of Shay’s hips. Using the hand still in Shay’s hair, she tilted Shay’s head back, kissing down her over the ridge of her chin, following the line of her neck.
They kissed a lot. Not an inordinate amount because they both had other things to do but there was generally a lot of kissing when they were alone. As Shay blinked up at the trees above her she wondered if doing this with Bailey would ever stop pushing her to the edge of her self control. She bit her bottom lip as she turned her head to further expose the skin of her neck to Bailey’s lips. She realized she had handfuls of the blanket clutched in her fists and she flattened her palms against the fabric. Arching beneath Bailey she let out a shaky breath as her eyes fluttered closed.
Bailey could feel Shay’s shaky pulse under her lips. She paused, breathing softly against Shay’s neck. “You okay?” she couldn’t but ask. She didn’t want to push Shay any more than Shay wanted to go.
“Yes.” Shay swallowed hard. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course you can,” Bailey murmured.
“I just want to know how,” Shay gently pushed at Bailey’s shoulder so that she would sit up and she could see her face. “How far you think you’re ready to...go? Not now. And this isn’t the 50s so I probably could’ve phrased that better. But, I think you know what I’m asking. I-I feel like I say no a lot and I just want to know what you want.”
Bailey paused, looking at Shay quietly. “I... Don’t know,” she said finally. “Everything we do feels really good and... and... I know I haven’t done a ton, you know, like this, but.” She scratched the back of her neck. “But every time I touch you, I never want to stop. And... I feel okay about that.” She frowned. “Does that make sense?”
Shay nodded. “I just don’t want you to think that we’re never going to do... stuff. Because, like, we are. I mean I want to. I kinda want to do something now well, really, all the time when we do this. But, I really like talking to you and just being around you and I don’t want the kissing parts of our relationship to mess up the other parts.”
“I don’t want it to either,” Bailey agreed. She gave Shay a crooked smile and sat back. “And they won’t, I promise.” She beckoned Shay closer until the other girl was close enough to touch again. She brushed some of Shay’s hair behind her ear. “We’re both figuring it out. One step at a time, okay? Because I really like talking to you too. And I really like kissing you. And we can do those separately or together or whatever you want.”
“I want you to wear that bracelet so that I can have my own secret symbol. And I want you to maybe soon, if you want, let me get a little further in the backseat at the drive-in.” Shay looked down then quickly back up. “Only if you want.”
Bailey grinned widely. “Are we going steady, now, Mary Sue?” She reached forward and tipped Shay’s head up so they could make eye contact. “I want. I do. Whenever we’re ready, okay?”
“One month strong, Mary Jane. Or would you prefer Mary Ann?” Shay thought for a moment. “Bailey is pretty gender neutral though.” She turned her head, pressing a kiss to the inside of Bailey’s wrist. “I guess we’ll just know.”
“We will,” Bailey agreed, Pulling Shay closer, Bailey turned until Shay was practically in her lap, reaching for her book. “To be honest, I just brought you out here to read poetry to you. If you wanna listen.”
Shay smiled, resting her head on Bailey’s shoulder. “Of course.”