Honesty

[awkwardgaloshes]

I see people - strangers and people I know alike - and I immediately hate them. I hate them. Something I haven't done for about a year.

I am listening to the mix I made when David and I broke up. It's really good. It makes me really sad. David still hasn't heard it. I haven't listened to it in about a year. Not like this.

I like showing off my cleavage. I have very few insecurities with my body, and even less with myself as a person - but today that's a little different.

I dance when I'm at work, and I look completely ridiculous while doing it.

I plan on getting stoned out of my mind tonight even though I know its going to make me feel anxious, paranoid and super uncomfortable. I'm going to listen to Sufjan Stevens, and (maybe) the Talking Heads.

I am not ballsy enough to run away, as many times I've relished in the idea. I hate my flights of fancy. I want to be happy when I'm content.

I am so afraid of not doing amazing things with my life.

I know that I am completely and effortlessly awesome. I am constantly perplexed at how people can agree, and feed into that notion... but let me go in the end.

I am strong and I won't let you see me cry when you leave. And I won't tell you I did... this time. But secretly, it killed me when you left.

I hated today.