It's getting late. We should be going to bed, but I'm just not interested. I can't really explain why, I just know I'm not.
And if this turns into an insomniac night for either or both of us, there's only one way that's going to go before either of us tries getting any sleep at all.
... Maybe that's why I'm not tired.
I don't know what it is. We've been pushing the limit on things for a while now. I know Carly's still not ready, and I think I've dealt pretty well with that. Waiting isn't as horrible for me as I know it is for other guys. Not when it's me and her, and she makes it alright.
But even without sex being involved here, I can still be a hell of a lot more interested in whatever we wind up coming up with than I can sleep.
And since I'm a teenager who's in love with his girlfriend, it really doesn't take a hell of a lot to get me started.
"Sam."
That right there? That pretty much does it.
"We should go to bed."'Bed'. I don't want to go to bed. Bed is code here for 'make out until we get exhausted enough to sleep'. Real
( ... )
Sam has mastered the art of kissing. I think we've probably even done some things that no one else has. When you're trying to take things slow, you get a little inventive with the things you can do. With Sam, inventive has meant a lot of fun. Maybe not as much fun as the other thing, but fun regardless. And I like our kind of fun. I'm comfortable with it. It always feels right.
I don't know why we're making such a big deal about having sex when everything else feels right, but I know that its important. Everyone else has rushed into it and gone through five or six relationships by now--if they could even call them relationships, and we're just taking our time. We're doing this the way that you're supposed to.
"I think I can manage to stay up for a while.""Good
( ... )
I grinned and laid back next to Carly, moving closer to her, and then going in for another kiss. And another. And the hands feel really good. I'm still wondering how long we've actually done this before. I don't think we've ever timed it
( ... )
And her moving my hand only made it worse. We don't have a whole lot of limits left here Carly, you're not leaving me any room. And I'm afraid to say something about it. I asked once, and it went fine, but asking now might kill this.
If I can't have one, I really want the other, because I have to get by on one until she's decided it's time. Whenever that's going to be.
I moved my hand and let my fingers run right between her breasts, and felt it get even more annoying not to be doing anything else, and decided to leave that be for now.
I moved my lips to her ear, and found a soft spot to do another bite, sliding my hand down her stomach, and stopping just short of my hand going under her pajamas.
We're stopping again. Damnit. I don't want us to be stopping. The farther we get, the more I hate that idea. Its just too much now. And we love each other, so we shouldn't have to be so disciplined. We've got our act together a lot more than a lot of people who are our age do, and we've taken every step seriously.
So what's wrong, and how can I fix it?
"I can't do this."
Can't do what?
He needs to clarify that. Either he means he needs to stop, or he doesn't want to stop. It could go either way, and I can't tell. The way that he just kissed me could mean anything. And something is definitely wrong, but I don't know what.
Did I do something? We were fine a few minutes ago.
Here it comes. The final verdict. And if she wants to go to sleep, I think I'm going to have a problem, because I seriously won't be able to do it. Not wanting to be the one who asks aside, it's just... It'll bug the hell out of me that I finally did it, and didn't get anywhere.
It won't be Carly's fault, I mean, you can't push someone into this kind of thing.
But it'll just bug the hell out of me. We're alone, we're both supposedly ready, and sure, we have school tomorrow, but come on. Asking me to care about that is like asking Madsen to stay awake through history if he can't do anything to amuse himself during the class.
We have no problems here. We should be able to just do it.
He's better now. I think I'm better too, but if I'm not, I think I will be once the butterflies go away. They shouldn't be there in the first place. I'm not that nervous. I'm a little nervous, but I'm sure. I know that I want to do this now, with Sam. Nerves don't matter.
They'll probably go away soon anyway.
I kissed Sam and let him position himself over me, even though it wasn't exactly over me yet, and looked into his eyes when he started making eye contact instead of kissing me. He should know that I'm ready for this, but I think he does. I think he's just making sure.
And we're back to kissing. He's sure.
"Anytime you want to stop, say something to me, okay?"I could have argued that I wasn't going to want him to, but instead I whispered an "okay" and pulled him in for another kiss, running my hand through his hair and using the other one on his back again. I know what it did to him before, but this isn't before. I think its all fair game now. Nails are allowed again
( ... )
And if this turns into an insomniac night for either or both of us, there's only one way that's going to go before either of us tries getting any sleep at all.
... Maybe that's why I'm not tired.
I don't know what it is. We've been pushing the limit on things for a while now. I know Carly's still not ready, and I think I've dealt pretty well with that. Waiting isn't as horrible for me as I know it is for other guys. Not when it's me and her, and she makes it alright.
But even without sex being involved here, I can still be a hell of a lot more interested in whatever we wind up coming up with than I can sleep.
And since I'm a teenager who's in love with his girlfriend, it really doesn't take a hell of a lot to get me started.
"Sam."
That right there? That pretty much does it.
"We should go to bed."'Bed'. I don't want to go to bed. Bed is code here for 'make out until we get exhausted enough to sleep'. Real ( ... )
Reply
Sam has mastered the art of kissing. I think we've probably even done some things that no one else has. When you're trying to take things slow, you get a little inventive with the things you can do. With Sam, inventive has meant a lot of fun. Maybe not as much fun as the other thing, but fun regardless. And I like our kind of fun. I'm comfortable with it. It always feels right.
I don't know why we're making such a big deal about having sex when everything else feels right, but I know that its important. Everyone else has rushed into it and gone through five or six relationships by now--if they could even call them relationships, and we're just taking our time. We're doing this the way that you're supposed to.
"I think I can manage to stay up for a while.""Good ( ... )
Reply
I grinned and laid back next to Carly, moving closer to her, and then going in for another kiss. And another. And the hands feel really good. I'm still wondering how long we've actually done this before. I don't think we've ever timed it ( ... )
Reply
Reply
And her moving my hand only made it worse. We don't have a whole lot of limits left here Carly, you're not leaving me any room. And I'm afraid to say something about it. I asked once, and it went fine, but asking now might kill this.
If I can't have one, I really want the other, because I have to get by on one until she's decided it's time. Whenever that's going to be.
I moved my hand and let my fingers run right between her breasts, and felt it get even more annoying not to be doing anything else, and decided to leave that be for now.
I moved my lips to her ear, and found a soft spot to do another bite, sliding my hand down her stomach, and stopping just short of my hand going under her pajamas.
Nails... Christ, that feels good ( ... )
Reply
We're stopping again. Damnit. I don't want us to be stopping. The farther we get, the more I hate that idea. Its just too much now. And we love each other, so we shouldn't have to be so disciplined. We've got our act together a lot more than a lot of people who are our age do, and we've taken every step seriously.
So what's wrong, and how can I fix it?
"I can't do this."
Can't do what?
He needs to clarify that. Either he means he needs to stop, or he doesn't want to stop. It could go either way, and I can't tell. The way that he just kissed me could mean anything. And something is definitely wrong, but I don't know what.
Did I do something? We were fine a few minutes ago.
"I can't."Cant do what ( ... )
Reply
Here it comes. The final verdict. And if she wants to go to sleep, I think I'm going to have a problem, because I seriously won't be able to do it. Not wanting to be the one who asks aside, it's just... It'll bug the hell out of me that I finally did it, and didn't get anywhere.
It won't be Carly's fault, I mean, you can't push someone into this kind of thing.
But it'll just bug the hell out of me. We're alone, we're both supposedly ready, and sure, we have school tomorrow, but come on. Asking me to care about that is like asking Madsen to stay awake through history if he can't do anything to amuse himself during the class.
We have no problems here. We should be able to just do it.
"I don't want to go to sleep."... What ( ... )
Reply
Okay.
He's better now. I think I'm better too, but if I'm not, I think I will be once the butterflies go away. They shouldn't be there in the first place. I'm not that nervous. I'm a little nervous, but I'm sure. I know that I want to do this now, with Sam. Nerves don't matter.
They'll probably go away soon anyway.
I kissed Sam and let him position himself over me, even though it wasn't exactly over me yet, and looked into his eyes when he started making eye contact instead of kissing me. He should know that I'm ready for this, but I think he does. I think he's just making sure.
And we're back to kissing. He's sure.
"Anytime you want to stop, say something to me, okay?"I could have argued that I wasn't going to want him to, but instead I whispered an "okay" and pulled him in for another kiss, running my hand through his hair and using the other one on his back again. I know what it did to him before, but this isn't before. I think its all fair game now. Nails are allowed again ( ... )
Reply
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