Make Out Trumps (It's just a day in the life of a pretty face) - Jon/Spencer
Panic! At The Disco: Jon/Spencer (what?!)
Innocent as always.
~3700 words
A sort of sequel to I never felt uncomfortable, even with my clothes off.
Normally this is where I would say: beta by heartequals! <3 - which is why this time, I am saying: This is for heartequals, my lovely wonderful Camdi-k who has always loved Spencer more than me and who has both beta'ed my fics to perfection and written a thousand fics on my request. You're finally getting something in return! :D
Thank you rebecca_star for the beta and Chelle for banishing my fears <3 Title partly from Buck 65's Beauty Is A Skill (Is it, Spencer Smith? Is it?)
(Disclaimer: Opinions expressed by characters within are not necessarily the opinions of the author. Ahem.)
Ryan, Brendon and Jon go to LA in September for a long weekend to check out possible recording spots. Pete's is an open house these days and they stay over, in a myriad of label people and Chicago faces. Most of Cobra Starship are there, though they don't seem to know why. Jon's pretty sure they're supposed to be recording an album, but he's pretty sure his own band is supposed to be doing the same so he keeps his mouth shut.
They're lazing beside the pool, watching Ryan try to be in whichever part of the garden Gabe is not, when the subject of the VMAs comes up. Jon closes his eyes, leans back on a sun lounger that smells faintly of dog, and lets the conversation go in one ear and out the other.
"You were pretty attached to Rihanna, Brendon. What's going on there, eh, eh?"
"Nudge nudge, wink wink."
"Oy oy!"
Jon smiles. He hears Brendon's sad voice say, "Nothing, though not for lack of trying. She was talking to Patrick most of the time and then she left." And then he heaves a great sigh.
They all laugh and Jon gets distracted by trying to remember that other awesome single she had, the one with the dancing on the beach, and then he gets distracted by trying to remember her outfit in that video, and he misses most of the rest of the conversation. He does hear various amusing remarks about one night stands and he marks when Ryland leaves - a tall shadow passing across Jon's sun lounger. Then he hears Victoria laughing and laughing and laughing and then a crash. Jon pushes his sunglasses up a little and props himself on his elbows. He blinks against the sunlight. Victoria is lying on the floor and her lounger is on its side. Alex is smirking and she is crying with laughter. Brendon is looking like someone just stole his Capri Sun.
"Bden," Victoria chokes out, "What. Why would you even ask that?"
Brendon pouts.
"Aw, Brendon. Bren. Brennydon. I like you, I do. But what?"
Jon is amused, but he thinks it would be more amusing if he knew what was going on. "Hey," he says, "What's going on? Why would he even ask what?"
Victoria calms down a little and rights her lounger. "If I'd make out with him," she says, and giggles.
"Victoria," Brendon says, pleads, "Victoria, VickyT. Please."
She shakes her head.
"Vic, they can't win. And you're totally, totally on my side. You like me more than Ryan and Spence."
Victoria wiggles her hand. "I don't know. Ryan, sure - but Spencer and me have a... connection."
Alex raises his eyebrows.
"Not that kind of connection, Suarez. Don't get jealous." She smirks.
"Well then - beat Ryan! Come on, VickyT."
"Victoria doesn't kiss boys in bands," Alex says, and adjusts his sunglasses.
She snorts. "Right."
"What," Alex says. "You don't." But there's a fraction of a question in there.
She smiles, and reaches across Brendon to pat Alex's head. "Sweetie. That was just so I didn't have to join in the ridiculous games you boys play."
It's probably the first time Jon's ever seen Alex taken aback. "I don't believe you," he says, sitting up on his elbows and fixing her with an accusing stare.
"Alright," she says, and puts her hands on her hips. "Alright, Brendon, I'd love to." And she takes his hand and he scrambles and almost trips in his haste and then they are gone, running around the side of the house.
Jon looks at Alex. He's not sure if that just happened.
It's not until they're back home that Brendon brings it up. He swaggers into Ryan's kitchen one morning, when Jon, Spencer and Ryan are sitting around eating toast and eggs. Jon is the only one to look up, so he watches Brendon try and get the attention of the other two. First he coughs. Then he poses at the head of the table. Finally he concedes - pulls out a chair with a bang, collapses on it, and crosses his arms. Ryan glances up. "Oh hey," he says, and goes back to the paper. Spencer doesn't even look.
Brendon leans forward.
"I have an announcement," he says. Brendon's announcements usually come with some pretty great gossip, so at this Ryan and Spencer finally look his way. Jon takes the opportunity to nab Spencer's coffee. Spencer growls.
"I'm sorry it had to come to this," Brendon is saying. Jon makes eyes at Spencer.
"I respect you two utterly and I understand the lengths to which you both went - "
Spencer narrows his in return.
" - but really, guys. Guys."
Jon widens his eyes even more and takes another sip -
" - Guys!" Brendon has suddenly increased threefold in volume and Jon and Spencer both jump. Coffee goes all down Jon's front. Brendon is glaring at them. "Will you try and pay me attention for one second?"
Spencer is laughing and laughing at Jon, and Ryan is smiling as well, and Jon is trying to apologise and trying to kick Spencer and god, the coffee is everywhere. He gets up from the table. Spencer looks unbearably smug, says something about karma, and Ryan grins at him. Then through it all, Brendon bangs his hands down on the table and yells, "I made out with VickyT."
All at once the room is silent. For a few seconds, there is genuine shock, then - "You did not."
Brendon sticks out his lower lip. "Yes I did."
"No you didn't." That was Spencer.
"Yes I did. Make out king, thank you very much."
"Shut up."
"Ryan, jealousy isn't pretty."
"Shut up, I'm not jealous. There's nothing to be jealous of."
"Apart from the fact that I totally just beat you. Gabe beats Travis, but VickyT beats Gabe."
Spencer rolls his eyes. "What is this, make out trumps?"
"Yes, actually, it is, and don't pretend like you're not interested just because you're losing."
"I'm not losing! Travis beats Gabe, and you didn't make out with VickyT."
"I did make out with her!" Brendon is clearly getting agitated. "Jon saw."
All three heads whip around to look at Jon, who freezes in the middle of sponging down his shirt. He shrinks away from them a little. Spencer is kind of scary when you spring things on him, and Ryan's always been a disbelieving little bitch.
"Um." He dabs half-heartedly at the stain. "Well. I didn't... exactly."
"Jon..." Brendon is looking at him, puppy dog eyes in full force. Maybe they would have more effect if Jon weren't a cat person.
"Well technically I didn't see them in the act, but - "
Spencer and Ryan crow and scoff and drown out Brendon's protestations. Jon watches them for a moment, thinks about this ridiculous game for a minute. Then he says, "Hey!"
They don't pay any attention.
"Hey! Excuse me!"
Spencer, at least, looks over.
"Okay, hang on. Say Brendon did kiss her. Say he did, okay - " Jon waves his hands in a disclaimer, " - what about me? I totally haven't had a go yet. I just have to kiss someone hotter than VickyT." They stare. "Right?"
Brendon wrinkles his nose. "Jonathan Walker," he intones. "I am sorry. That is an impossible task."
"Nuh-uh," Jon says, because he's started this now and he'll win if it means kissing every member of DecayDance. "What about Bill? I've kissed him."
Spencer laughs, derisively. "Too spindly," he says.
Jon starts protesting, but Brendon does it louder. "I don't know," he says, "Spindly can be kind of hot." Neither Jon nor Spencer nor Ryan are at all missing the fact that Brendon is staring absentmindedly at Ryan while he says this, and the former both burst out laughing. Ryan just sits there, looking faintly horrified and gulping down coffee. When he gets his breath back, Jon says, "Okay. Fine. Well what about Pete?"
Now they all laugh. "Dude," says Spencer, "Come on. Everyone's made out with Pete."
"Suarez?"
They hum and haw and waggle their fingers. Ryan says possibly and Brendon says no way, Gabe and Vicky are totally hotter and then Spencer says he actually agrees, and Jon is just mentally preparing what order he is going to list all other members - because, seriously, he's Not Losing - when Ryan snaps his fingers. "Jon."
"What?"
"No, Jon. You're the only one hotter than Gabe, Travis and VickyT."
Spencer and Brendon agree, absolutely. They shrug and nod when Jon looks disbelievingly at them, and Ryan looks utterly pleased with himself.
"That's not fair!"
Ryan rolls his eyes. "We're giving you a compliment, Jon, oh my god."
"I don't care - I can't make out with myself you bastards."
Then they all start laughing and Jon scowls. Sometimes he forgets how sneaky Ryan can be - how sneaky they can all be. He stomps out.
They mooch around the apartment all day, writing and talking and pretending to do some cleaning, and it isn't until the evening that Jon finally works out the winning strategy. He scrambles off the couch, kicking the coffee table in his haste, and hobbles, wincing, to the kitchen. "Oh," he says, "Oh, oh, oh."
The other three stare with some vague interest from where they are huddled around a magazine.
"Oh," Jon says, clutching his shin, "Ow. Okay. Haha," he says. "Spencer. Spencer Smith is hotter than me."
Spencer snorts. "Oh, come on," he says, and glances at the others. But they are staring at Jon, their faces a mixture of shock and embarrassment.
"Oh my God - "
"Of course - "
"Oh my God - "
"We are terrible people - "
"Awful."
Spencer narrows his eyes. "Guys," he says, warningly.
"I feel like I've failed."
"You have."
" - We both have."
Spencer clenches his jaw a little. "Stop it."
"Of course Spencer's hotter than you - "
" - No offence - "
" - Yeah no offence, I mean, we're all beautiful in our own special ways, but." Ryan waves his hand at Spencer's face.
Brendon is about to talk but at that he stops, and his head twitches a bit. Spencer looks positively horrified. Jon covers his mouth. "Ryan," he tries not to laugh, "I hope you realise that Keltie's kidding when she says that shit."
Ryan looks a little suspicious. "Yeah... of course I do. What? Shut up."
Spencer snickers. Then his face lights up and he points a finger at them. "Ha! Keltie! Keltie is hotter than me!"
Ryan's eyebrows lift. "Yeah," he says, "Yeah, well, duh - "
Behind him, Brendon catches Jon's eye. He makes a face.
" - But this is a DecayDance only competition, right Brendon?" Ryan looks at Brendon, who swiftly composes his features. Jon makes a face back, shakes his head and rolls his eyes, like, yah, Spence over Keltie any day. Brendon gives a little snort. Ryan whips his head around and glares pre-emptively at Jon. Jon is as innocent as they come though. Brendon nods at Jon. Yeah, any day, the nod says. Ryan looks between them so fast Jon thinks he'll get a crick in his neck. "Shut up," Ryan says, "Shut up. Keltie is totally hotter than Spencer."
Spencer steps back a little. He crosses his arms. "Hang on," he says, "Hang on, I'm a little offended now. Why are they sticking up for me, and my best friend isn't?"
Jon is just about to protest at the way in which Spencer said they, when he carries on. "In fact, I am dumping you. Jon is now my new best friend."
Ryan looks appalled.
"Haha!" Jon raises both fists in the air. "Score!" he yells, and does a little victory dance. "Hey Spencer Smith," he says. "Hey, so can I make out with you now?"
Spencer rolls his eyes and leaves the kitchen. Over by the table, Brendon grins and moves closer to Ryan. "Hey Ryan," he says, "does that mean we're best friends now?"
Jon absentmindedly registers Ryan's 'ugh' before Spencer looks over his shoulder and starts, cuttingly, "Um, One - no - and Two - since when did being best friends mean make outs? - and Three - I'm still not the hottest so there's no point anyway."
Jon follows him, tries to rest his chin on Spencer's shoulder. "Ummm," he says, "One - wrong answer - Two - since Pete started DecayDance - and Three - Spencer Smith you are smokin'." Then, before Spencer can hit him or kill him with his stare or do something else equally scary, Jon leaps around and runs back into the kitchen.
"Pool numbers, guys," he shouts happily. "We are taking a poll!"
Behind him Spencer says, "And Four, Jon - "
" - And Four, Spencer Smith, make out with me!" Jon crowds Spencer's personal space a little - there's nothing like getting uncomfortably close to Spencer to put him off. "I'm the second hottest, by popular consensus - you could do a lot worse!"
They ring Pete, then Travis, then all of The Academy boys (Michael says he'll never ever forgive them because this time in the morning is just not cool - but Michael is the friendliest person ever so they don't take it to heart) and The Cab. They ring Alex Suarez (he says Spencer straight off, without them even giving a hint, and Spencer gets a bit flustered) and they ring Zach, and then they call up some random number. It's a lady who thinks she's taking part in a radio quiz, and when she says Spencer they tell her she's won $100. To Spencer's disgust and incredulity, they actually send her the money. Pete is the only one who doesn't say Spencer, but that's only because he says Patrick and his answer is declared null and void.
"Spencer," Jon declares, "it's official. You are the hottest boy - "
" - Or girl!" Brendon says.
" - Or girl, on DecayDance Records." He grins, triumphant.
Spencer looks at him. "I'm going to bed."
Jon's only a little disappointed. He's more amused than anything. The three of them sit around the kitchen for a bit, discussing whether or not there is a sexier record label in the world. When the conversation has got to the point of meaningless drivel, Jon pushes off from the counter and gives his goodnight hugs. He goes to his room, takes off an outer layer of clothing and tidies a bit. When he walks back past the living room he can hear Brendon and Ryan bickering about whether best friends automatically get to have - "Sexyfuntimes, Ryan Ross. Come on." Jon smiles, goes into the bathroom. Spencer is in there brushing his teeth and so Jon does too, and when they are both finished Spencer waits, expectantly. Jon looks at him, mirroring the expectancy. "So um." Spencer gestures vaguely. "I have to piss, so. If you could shut the door on your way out."
Jon nods. "Right," he says, "Right, yeah." He pushes the door to.
Spencer sighs. "What are you doing, Jon?"
Jon grins. He turns the lock, and then he steps forward and grabs Spencer's hips. Spencer steps back, but Jon follows him. "Making out with you, Spence," he says, and goes to kiss him.
Spencer jumps backwards. "Hey!" he says. "Hey, hey!"
Jon is taken aback. "What," he says, and frowns a little, even though this isn't... he doesn't know what this isn't.
"So you'll make out with Travis and not me?"
Spencer wrinkles his nose up. "Maybe."
"What do I have to do, grow a couple of feet and rap love songs to you?"
Spencer grins, and ducks his head a little.
Jon crosses his arms. "No," he says, "No, I won't. I am a better height than Travis, and I can get you discounts at Starbucks even though I'm technically not supposed to, and I smell like Christmas, Spencer Smith. And I'm hot," he adds, as an afterthought. "Brendon and Ryan can vouch for that."
"Brendon and Ryan are currently arguing about Pete's eternal love. Their opinion doesn't count for anything."
Jon smiles, but he says, "Spence. You are missing the point."
Spencer bites his lip. "Actually, I don't think I am. But okay Jon, what is the point?"
Jon shrugs a little, and steps in a little. "I'm wooing you. Okay? So why don't you just go ahead and be wooed."
Spencer doesn't say anything else, mostly because Jon kisses him, very softly, and then he grins and steps in closer and wraps his arms around Spencer. "Wooing, Spencer." And he kisses him again.
He kisses Spencer for a while longer than he had anticipated, and when he finally pulls away he's a little starstruck, or something like it. He says the first thing to come in to his head, which turns out to be, "I win." And then he smiles.
Spencer doesn't smile back. He stands there a few seconds and then pulls away. "Okay," he says, "I have to piss now. Goodnight." He pushes slightly at Jon.
Jon mouths soundlessly a bit. "Okay," he says, too. "Okay. Um." Spencer has his back to him and Jon leaves, closes the door gently behind him. He stands outside it for a bit, trying to work out what just happened, and then he says again, very quietly, "Okay."
He gets to his room and then he stops. He holds onto the doorframe. Then he turns around and pads softly back down the corridor in his socks. Spencer is just going into his room and Jon comes up behind him and catches his arm and says, "Spencer. Spence. I was wooing you, Spencer Smith."
Spencer looks over his shoulder. "Jon," he says, "I'm tired, and you've won your stupid game, so I'm going to bed."
He tries to leave and Jon is almost stunned enough that he lets him. Then he grips tighter.
"Christmas and Starbucks, Spencer. And I like you in the mornings, even when you start a fight with Brendon and Ryan and then eat the last Poptart. And I will buy you shoes and not even steal them because I don't wear shoes, and..." He flails his spare hand a little. "And I don't take it to heart when you laugh at me in the middle of my woo."
Spencer is indeed laughing, and at this he laughs even more. Then he says, "Jon, you are a douche."
Jon smiles. "Yeah. But I am a hot douche. Who won't even post pre-makeout pictures on Buzznet."
Then Spencer laughs a bit more, and Jon leans in and kisses him. Slides one hands down his arm until he can tangle their fingers together, and slips his other hand underneath Spencer's t shirt. He rubs his belly and Spencer tilts his chin a little and shivers, and then he fists his hands in Jon's t shirt and breaks the kiss. Jon's stomach flips, but Spencer only pulls them back into the room. He says, "Woo isn't a noun, I don't think."
Jon laughs, all breathless. He kicks the door shut behind them and fits them together as close as they can be, winding his fingers through Spencer's hair and kissing him until he is as out of breath as Jon. Spencer curls his hands around Jon's hips and looks over his shoulder, eyes darting back to meet Jon's nervously. "We could stand here all night," he says, "Or..."
Jon nods, enthusiastic. "Yeah," he says, "No, yeah. Bed. I mean... Is that what you meant? Um."
Spencer smirks. "Oh my god," he says, "I am taking a retard to bed." And he steps backwards and gets onto the bed, and Jon can only nod some more. "Right," he says. "Right, no." He follows Spencer, lies down next to him and says, "Spence." Then Spencer keeps kissing him and he forgets what he wanted to say anyway. Every minute or so Spencer pulls back and looks at him, straight in the eyes, and every time Jon only gets more nervous. It's like Spencer's expecting him to say something. If he is, it's probably not, "Did you do this with Travis?" Which, as soon as it comes out of his mouth, Jon knows was pretty much the stupidest thing anyone has ever said, ever.
Spencer stops. "Jon. Shut up."
Jon nods and then shakes his head, runs his hands up and down Spencer's arms. "Yeah," he says, "Sorry."
Spencer leans up and tips Jon onto his back, then he pushes his t shirt up and kisses down his chest, beard scratching lightly. Jon props himself up on his arms and watches. He's not really thinking about talking, in the circumstances, when suddenly his mouth opens and, "Oh my god," he says, "You did do this with him, didn't you!"
Spencer sits up. He glares at Jon. "Do you even want to get laid tonight?"
Jon props himself up higher and reaches out to Spencer a little, "Yes, Spence, sorry, yes, yes, I." He's babbling. "Yes. Please."
Spencer grins, but he's starting to look a little unsure behind the eyes, so Jon is the one to sit up and flip them over. He positions himself over Spencer and leans heavily on him. "Yes," he says, and kisses Spencer with enough force that Spencer moans, helplessly. Then he pulls away, takes both their t shirts off. Spencer tips his head back, and Jon watches his chest rise and fall, uneven and unsteady. He rests a hand on top, watches them rise and fall together. Then Spencer looks at him again, and Jon ducks down. "So," he says, "I'm going to - "
"Yeah," says Spencer. "You'd better."
The next morning they wake up together, synchronised scowling and blinking and stretching, and synchronised realisations. Jon grins. "Haha," he says, "Haha, ha, I win."
Spencer glares. He tries to kick Jon but Jon just tangles their legs together and kisses him some more. When Spencer goes to the bathroom Jon uses Spencer's sidekick to text Brendon and Ryan: Ha ha ha Jon wins Spencer Smith The Fifth beat that.
Spencer comes back and Jon kisses him some more. A minute later a door opens, and they hear, "Conclusive proof, Ryan! Best friends make out with each other! Where are you?" Another door slams, and Jon giggles. Spencer rolls his eyes, but he's smiling a little. "Don't even explain," he says. "I don't care. Ugh." He pulls a pillow over his head. Jon wraps his arms around Spencer and pulls it over his head too.
(Afterthought: I totally do not think Spencer is the hottest but I do think if you took a poll of the label, he would win. Y/n?)
Innocent as always.
~3700 words
A sort of sequel to I never felt uncomfortable, even with my clothes off.
Normally this is where I would say: beta by heartequals! <3 - which is why this time, I am saying: This is for heartequals, my lovely wonderful Camdi-k who has always loved Spencer more than me and who has both beta'ed my fics to perfection and written a thousand fics on my request. You're finally getting something in return! :D
Thank you rebecca_star for the beta and Chelle for banishing my fears <3 Title partly from Buck 65's Beauty Is A Skill (Is it, Spencer Smith? Is it?)
(Disclaimer: Opinions expressed by characters within are not necessarily the opinions of the author. Ahem.)
Ryan, Brendon and Jon go to LA in September for a long weekend to check out possible recording spots. Pete's is an open house these days and they stay over, in a myriad of label people and Chicago faces. Most of Cobra Starship are there, though they don't seem to know why. Jon's pretty sure they're supposed to be recording an album, but he's pretty sure his own band is supposed to be doing the same so he keeps his mouth shut.
They're lazing beside the pool, watching Ryan try to be in whichever part of the garden Gabe is not, when the subject of the VMAs comes up. Jon closes his eyes, leans back on a sun lounger that smells faintly of dog, and lets the conversation go in one ear and out the other.
"You were pretty attached to Rihanna, Brendon. What's going on there, eh, eh?"
"Nudge nudge, wink wink."
"Oy oy!"
Jon smiles. He hears Brendon's sad voice say, "Nothing, though not for lack of trying. She was talking to Patrick most of the time and then she left." And then he heaves a great sigh.
They all laugh and Jon gets distracted by trying to remember that other awesome single she had, the one with the dancing on the beach, and then he gets distracted by trying to remember her outfit in that video, and he misses most of the rest of the conversation. He does hear various amusing remarks about one night stands and he marks when Ryland leaves - a tall shadow passing across Jon's sun lounger. Then he hears Victoria laughing and laughing and laughing and then a crash. Jon pushes his sunglasses up a little and props himself on his elbows. He blinks against the sunlight. Victoria is lying on the floor and her lounger is on its side. Alex is smirking and she is crying with laughter. Brendon is looking like someone just stole his Capri Sun.
"Bden," Victoria chokes out, "What. Why would you even ask that?"
Brendon pouts.
"Aw, Brendon. Bren. Brennydon. I like you, I do. But what?"
Jon is amused, but he thinks it would be more amusing if he knew what was going on. "Hey," he says, "What's going on? Why would he even ask what?"
Victoria calms down a little and rights her lounger. "If I'd make out with him," she says, and giggles.
"Victoria," Brendon says, pleads, "Victoria, VickyT. Please."
She shakes her head.
"Vic, they can't win. And you're totally, totally on my side. You like me more than Ryan and Spence."
Victoria wiggles her hand. "I don't know. Ryan, sure - but Spencer and me have a... connection."
Alex raises his eyebrows.
"Not that kind of connection, Suarez. Don't get jealous." She smirks.
"Well then - beat Ryan! Come on, VickyT."
"Victoria doesn't kiss boys in bands," Alex says, and adjusts his sunglasses.
She snorts. "Right."
"What," Alex says. "You don't." But there's a fraction of a question in there.
She smiles, and reaches across Brendon to pat Alex's head. "Sweetie. That was just so I didn't have to join in the ridiculous games you boys play."
It's probably the first time Jon's ever seen Alex taken aback. "I don't believe you," he says, sitting up on his elbows and fixing her with an accusing stare.
"Alright," she says, and puts her hands on her hips. "Alright, Brendon, I'd love to." And she takes his hand and he scrambles and almost trips in his haste and then they are gone, running around the side of the house.
Jon looks at Alex. He's not sure if that just happened.
It's not until they're back home that Brendon brings it up. He swaggers into Ryan's kitchen one morning, when Jon, Spencer and Ryan are sitting around eating toast and eggs. Jon is the only one to look up, so he watches Brendon try and get the attention of the other two. First he coughs. Then he poses at the head of the table. Finally he concedes - pulls out a chair with a bang, collapses on it, and crosses his arms. Ryan glances up. "Oh hey," he says, and goes back to the paper. Spencer doesn't even look.
Brendon leans forward.
"I have an announcement," he says. Brendon's announcements usually come with some pretty great gossip, so at this Ryan and Spencer finally look his way. Jon takes the opportunity to nab Spencer's coffee. Spencer growls.
"I'm sorry it had to come to this," Brendon is saying. Jon makes eyes at Spencer.
"I respect you two utterly and I understand the lengths to which you both went - "
Spencer narrows his in return.
" - but really, guys. Guys."
Jon widens his eyes even more and takes another sip -
" - Guys!" Brendon has suddenly increased threefold in volume and Jon and Spencer both jump. Coffee goes all down Jon's front. Brendon is glaring at them. "Will you try and pay me attention for one second?"
Spencer is laughing and laughing at Jon, and Ryan is smiling as well, and Jon is trying to apologise and trying to kick Spencer and god, the coffee is everywhere. He gets up from the table. Spencer looks unbearably smug, says something about karma, and Ryan grins at him. Then through it all, Brendon bangs his hands down on the table and yells, "I made out with VickyT."
All at once the room is silent. For a few seconds, there is genuine shock, then - "You did not."
Brendon sticks out his lower lip. "Yes I did."
"No you didn't." That was Spencer.
"Yes I did. Make out king, thank you very much."
"Shut up."
"Ryan, jealousy isn't pretty."
"Shut up, I'm not jealous. There's nothing to be jealous of."
"Apart from the fact that I totally just beat you. Gabe beats Travis, but VickyT beats Gabe."
Spencer rolls his eyes. "What is this, make out trumps?"
"Yes, actually, it is, and don't pretend like you're not interested just because you're losing."
"I'm not losing! Travis beats Gabe, and you didn't make out with VickyT."
"I did make out with her!" Brendon is clearly getting agitated. "Jon saw."
All three heads whip around to look at Jon, who freezes in the middle of sponging down his shirt. He shrinks away from them a little. Spencer is kind of scary when you spring things on him, and Ryan's always been a disbelieving little bitch.
"Um." He dabs half-heartedly at the stain. "Well. I didn't... exactly."
"Jon..." Brendon is looking at him, puppy dog eyes in full force. Maybe they would have more effect if Jon weren't a cat person.
"Well technically I didn't see them in the act, but - "
Spencer and Ryan crow and scoff and drown out Brendon's protestations. Jon watches them for a moment, thinks about this ridiculous game for a minute. Then he says, "Hey!"
They don't pay any attention.
"Hey! Excuse me!"
Spencer, at least, looks over.
"Okay, hang on. Say Brendon did kiss her. Say he did, okay - " Jon waves his hands in a disclaimer, " - what about me? I totally haven't had a go yet. I just have to kiss someone hotter than VickyT." They stare. "Right?"
Brendon wrinkles his nose. "Jonathan Walker," he intones. "I am sorry. That is an impossible task."
"Nuh-uh," Jon says, because he's started this now and he'll win if it means kissing every member of DecayDance. "What about Bill? I've kissed him."
Spencer laughs, derisively. "Too spindly," he says.
Jon starts protesting, but Brendon does it louder. "I don't know," he says, "Spindly can be kind of hot." Neither Jon nor Spencer nor Ryan are at all missing the fact that Brendon is staring absentmindedly at Ryan while he says this, and the former both burst out laughing. Ryan just sits there, looking faintly horrified and gulping down coffee. When he gets his breath back, Jon says, "Okay. Fine. Well what about Pete?"
Now they all laugh. "Dude," says Spencer, "Come on. Everyone's made out with Pete."
"Suarez?"
They hum and haw and waggle their fingers. Ryan says possibly and Brendon says no way, Gabe and Vicky are totally hotter and then Spencer says he actually agrees, and Jon is just mentally preparing what order he is going to list all other members - because, seriously, he's Not Losing - when Ryan snaps his fingers. "Jon."
"What?"
"No, Jon. You're the only one hotter than Gabe, Travis and VickyT."
Spencer and Brendon agree, absolutely. They shrug and nod when Jon looks disbelievingly at them, and Ryan looks utterly pleased with himself.
"That's not fair!"
Ryan rolls his eyes. "We're giving you a compliment, Jon, oh my god."
"I don't care - I can't make out with myself you bastards."
Then they all start laughing and Jon scowls. Sometimes he forgets how sneaky Ryan can be - how sneaky they can all be. He stomps out.
They mooch around the apartment all day, writing and talking and pretending to do some cleaning, and it isn't until the evening that Jon finally works out the winning strategy. He scrambles off the couch, kicking the coffee table in his haste, and hobbles, wincing, to the kitchen. "Oh," he says, "Oh, oh, oh."
The other three stare with some vague interest from where they are huddled around a magazine.
"Oh," Jon says, clutching his shin, "Ow. Okay. Haha," he says. "Spencer. Spencer Smith is hotter than me."
Spencer snorts. "Oh, come on," he says, and glances at the others. But they are staring at Jon, their faces a mixture of shock and embarrassment.
"Oh my God - "
"Of course - "
"Oh my God - "
"We are terrible people - "
"Awful."
Spencer narrows his eyes. "Guys," he says, warningly.
"I feel like I've failed."
"You have."
" - We both have."
Spencer clenches his jaw a little. "Stop it."
"Of course Spencer's hotter than you - "
" - No offence - "
" - Yeah no offence, I mean, we're all beautiful in our own special ways, but." Ryan waves his hand at Spencer's face.
Brendon is about to talk but at that he stops, and his head twitches a bit. Spencer looks positively horrified. Jon covers his mouth. "Ryan," he tries not to laugh, "I hope you realise that Keltie's kidding when she says that shit."
Ryan looks a little suspicious. "Yeah... of course I do. What? Shut up."
Spencer snickers. Then his face lights up and he points a finger at them. "Ha! Keltie! Keltie is hotter than me!"
Ryan's eyebrows lift. "Yeah," he says, "Yeah, well, duh - "
Behind him, Brendon catches Jon's eye. He makes a face.
" - But this is a DecayDance only competition, right Brendon?" Ryan looks at Brendon, who swiftly composes his features. Jon makes a face back, shakes his head and rolls his eyes, like, yah, Spence over Keltie any day. Brendon gives a little snort. Ryan whips his head around and glares pre-emptively at Jon. Jon is as innocent as they come though. Brendon nods at Jon. Yeah, any day, the nod says. Ryan looks between them so fast Jon thinks he'll get a crick in his neck. "Shut up," Ryan says, "Shut up. Keltie is totally hotter than Spencer."
Spencer steps back a little. He crosses his arms. "Hang on," he says, "Hang on, I'm a little offended now. Why are they sticking up for me, and my best friend isn't?"
Jon is just about to protest at the way in which Spencer said they, when he carries on. "In fact, I am dumping you. Jon is now my new best friend."
Ryan looks appalled.
"Haha!" Jon raises both fists in the air. "Score!" he yells, and does a little victory dance. "Hey Spencer Smith," he says. "Hey, so can I make out with you now?"
Spencer rolls his eyes and leaves the kitchen. Over by the table, Brendon grins and moves closer to Ryan. "Hey Ryan," he says, "does that mean we're best friends now?"
Jon absentmindedly registers Ryan's 'ugh' before Spencer looks over his shoulder and starts, cuttingly, "Um, One - no - and Two - since when did being best friends mean make outs? - and Three - I'm still not the hottest so there's no point anyway."
Jon follows him, tries to rest his chin on Spencer's shoulder. "Ummm," he says, "One - wrong answer - Two - since Pete started DecayDance - and Three - Spencer Smith you are smokin'." Then, before Spencer can hit him or kill him with his stare or do something else equally scary, Jon leaps around and runs back into the kitchen.
"Pool numbers, guys," he shouts happily. "We are taking a poll!"
Behind him Spencer says, "And Four, Jon - "
" - And Four, Spencer Smith, make out with me!" Jon crowds Spencer's personal space a little - there's nothing like getting uncomfortably close to Spencer to put him off. "I'm the second hottest, by popular consensus - you could do a lot worse!"
They ring Pete, then Travis, then all of The Academy boys (Michael says he'll never ever forgive them because this time in the morning is just not cool - but Michael is the friendliest person ever so they don't take it to heart) and The Cab. They ring Alex Suarez (he says Spencer straight off, without them even giving a hint, and Spencer gets a bit flustered) and they ring Zach, and then they call up some random number. It's a lady who thinks she's taking part in a radio quiz, and when she says Spencer they tell her she's won $100. To Spencer's disgust and incredulity, they actually send her the money. Pete is the only one who doesn't say Spencer, but that's only because he says Patrick and his answer is declared null and void.
"Spencer," Jon declares, "it's official. You are the hottest boy - "
" - Or girl!" Brendon says.
" - Or girl, on DecayDance Records." He grins, triumphant.
Spencer looks at him. "I'm going to bed."
Jon's only a little disappointed. He's more amused than anything. The three of them sit around the kitchen for a bit, discussing whether or not there is a sexier record label in the world. When the conversation has got to the point of meaningless drivel, Jon pushes off from the counter and gives his goodnight hugs. He goes to his room, takes off an outer layer of clothing and tidies a bit. When he walks back past the living room he can hear Brendon and Ryan bickering about whether best friends automatically get to have - "Sexyfuntimes, Ryan Ross. Come on." Jon smiles, goes into the bathroom. Spencer is in there brushing his teeth and so Jon does too, and when they are both finished Spencer waits, expectantly. Jon looks at him, mirroring the expectancy. "So um." Spencer gestures vaguely. "I have to piss, so. If you could shut the door on your way out."
Jon nods. "Right," he says, "Right, yeah." He pushes the door to.
Spencer sighs. "What are you doing, Jon?"
Jon grins. He turns the lock, and then he steps forward and grabs Spencer's hips. Spencer steps back, but Jon follows him. "Making out with you, Spence," he says, and goes to kiss him.
Spencer jumps backwards. "Hey!" he says. "Hey, hey!"
Jon is taken aback. "What," he says, and frowns a little, even though this isn't... he doesn't know what this isn't.
"So you'll make out with Travis and not me?"
Spencer wrinkles his nose up. "Maybe."
"What do I have to do, grow a couple of feet and rap love songs to you?"
Spencer grins, and ducks his head a little.
Jon crosses his arms. "No," he says, "No, I won't. I am a better height than Travis, and I can get you discounts at Starbucks even though I'm technically not supposed to, and I smell like Christmas, Spencer Smith. And I'm hot," he adds, as an afterthought. "Brendon and Ryan can vouch for that."
"Brendon and Ryan are currently arguing about Pete's eternal love. Their opinion doesn't count for anything."
Jon smiles, but he says, "Spence. You are missing the point."
Spencer bites his lip. "Actually, I don't think I am. But okay Jon, what is the point?"
Jon shrugs a little, and steps in a little. "I'm wooing you. Okay? So why don't you just go ahead and be wooed."
Spencer doesn't say anything else, mostly because Jon kisses him, very softly, and then he grins and steps in closer and wraps his arms around Spencer. "Wooing, Spencer." And he kisses him again.
He kisses Spencer for a while longer than he had anticipated, and when he finally pulls away he's a little starstruck, or something like it. He says the first thing to come in to his head, which turns out to be, "I win." And then he smiles.
Spencer doesn't smile back. He stands there a few seconds and then pulls away. "Okay," he says, "I have to piss now. Goodnight." He pushes slightly at Jon.
Jon mouths soundlessly a bit. "Okay," he says, too. "Okay. Um." Spencer has his back to him and Jon leaves, closes the door gently behind him. He stands outside it for a bit, trying to work out what just happened, and then he says again, very quietly, "Okay."
He gets to his room and then he stops. He holds onto the doorframe. Then he turns around and pads softly back down the corridor in his socks. Spencer is just going into his room and Jon comes up behind him and catches his arm and says, "Spencer. Spence. I was wooing you, Spencer Smith."
Spencer looks over his shoulder. "Jon," he says, "I'm tired, and you've won your stupid game, so I'm going to bed."
He tries to leave and Jon is almost stunned enough that he lets him. Then he grips tighter.
"Christmas and Starbucks, Spencer. And I like you in the mornings, even when you start a fight with Brendon and Ryan and then eat the last Poptart. And I will buy you shoes and not even steal them because I don't wear shoes, and..." He flails his spare hand a little. "And I don't take it to heart when you laugh at me in the middle of my woo."
Spencer is indeed laughing, and at this he laughs even more. Then he says, "Jon, you are a douche."
Jon smiles. "Yeah. But I am a hot douche. Who won't even post pre-makeout pictures on Buzznet."
Then Spencer laughs a bit more, and Jon leans in and kisses him. Slides one hands down his arm until he can tangle their fingers together, and slips his other hand underneath Spencer's t shirt. He rubs his belly and Spencer tilts his chin a little and shivers, and then he fists his hands in Jon's t shirt and breaks the kiss. Jon's stomach flips, but Spencer only pulls them back into the room. He says, "Woo isn't a noun, I don't think."
Jon laughs, all breathless. He kicks the door shut behind them and fits them together as close as they can be, winding his fingers through Spencer's hair and kissing him until he is as out of breath as Jon. Spencer curls his hands around Jon's hips and looks over his shoulder, eyes darting back to meet Jon's nervously. "We could stand here all night," he says, "Or..."
Jon nods, enthusiastic. "Yeah," he says, "No, yeah. Bed. I mean... Is that what you meant? Um."
Spencer smirks. "Oh my god," he says, "I am taking a retard to bed." And he steps backwards and gets onto the bed, and Jon can only nod some more. "Right," he says. "Right, no." He follows Spencer, lies down next to him and says, "Spence." Then Spencer keeps kissing him and he forgets what he wanted to say anyway. Every minute or so Spencer pulls back and looks at him, straight in the eyes, and every time Jon only gets more nervous. It's like Spencer's expecting him to say something. If he is, it's probably not, "Did you do this with Travis?" Which, as soon as it comes out of his mouth, Jon knows was pretty much the stupidest thing anyone has ever said, ever.
Spencer stops. "Jon. Shut up."
Jon nods and then shakes his head, runs his hands up and down Spencer's arms. "Yeah," he says, "Sorry."
Spencer leans up and tips Jon onto his back, then he pushes his t shirt up and kisses down his chest, beard scratching lightly. Jon props himself up on his arms and watches. He's not really thinking about talking, in the circumstances, when suddenly his mouth opens and, "Oh my god," he says, "You did do this with him, didn't you!"
Spencer sits up. He glares at Jon. "Do you even want to get laid tonight?"
Jon props himself up higher and reaches out to Spencer a little, "Yes, Spence, sorry, yes, yes, I." He's babbling. "Yes. Please."
Spencer grins, but he's starting to look a little unsure behind the eyes, so Jon is the one to sit up and flip them over. He positions himself over Spencer and leans heavily on him. "Yes," he says, and kisses Spencer with enough force that Spencer moans, helplessly. Then he pulls away, takes both their t shirts off. Spencer tips his head back, and Jon watches his chest rise and fall, uneven and unsteady. He rests a hand on top, watches them rise and fall together. Then Spencer looks at him again, and Jon ducks down. "So," he says, "I'm going to - "
"Yeah," says Spencer. "You'd better."
The next morning they wake up together, synchronised scowling and blinking and stretching, and synchronised realisations. Jon grins. "Haha," he says, "Haha, ha, I win."
Spencer glares. He tries to kick Jon but Jon just tangles their legs together and kisses him some more. When Spencer goes to the bathroom Jon uses Spencer's sidekick to text Brendon and Ryan: Ha ha ha Jon wins Spencer Smith The Fifth beat that.
Spencer comes back and Jon kisses him some more. A minute later a door opens, and they hear, "Conclusive proof, Ryan! Best friends make out with each other! Where are you?" Another door slams, and Jon giggles. Spencer rolls his eyes, but he's smiling a little. "Don't even explain," he says. "I don't care. Ugh." He pulls a pillow over his head. Jon wraps his arms around Spencer and pulls it over his head too.
(Afterthought: I totally do not think Spencer is the hottest but I do think if you took a poll of the label, he would win. Y/n?)