(no subject)
hmmmmmm, :)
i got drunk last night.
i DONT drink.
it was amazing.
now. im always preaching about "empty calories in drinks", and whatnot. or, well, preaching to myself, anyway. but. i would so much rather drink two mikes hard lemonades, and eat NOTHING all day, and be full of only 480 calories. its less than 500, id be drunk half way through the second because it only takes me one to get drunk, and probably loose weight.
im too young to buy alcohol. i dont go to parties very often, either, so i dont know if this could even work out.
but i knew it would become an obsession. thats why i didnt want to start.
my boyfriend turns 18 in march. hehhhh.
or, wait. do you have to be 21 to buy alch?
fuck.
eh. well, whatever.
ive decided thats the best feeling in the world.
anyways. slept over a friends on the weekend- her scale said i was 117. ive been eating way too much the past couple of days and not counting, and im going crazy. only, what. ten days till school?
i bought a pair of pants that id like to fit into before then.
i can close em. my fat just hangs over.
i bet im back down to atleast 114 today, though. and im going to mega restrict from here-on-in.
i dont really care. there arent exceptions ALLOWED.
i need to do this by school.
becase.
i cant wait for it to start.
i can FAST when school comes around. finally. ive been dying to go three days without eating.
i need some more appetite suppresants, though. i need something cheap. something i can buy in like bulk. i hate having to go back to the same store and buying diet pills. i know they all look at me weird because im some young kid buying these things.
SO IF ANYONE CAN THINK OF ANYTHING LIKE ^, lemme know.
in other news,
i really want to get drunk. again.
this is bad.
i also miss my boyfriend. i missed him when i was drunk, too. im not an emotional drunk, im not an angry drunk, im not a horny drunk, im not a happy drunk. i am just so mellow and content. i feel warm and calm, and i think too much when im drunk, too. i didnt even fucking know i was drunk. i was talking myself out of being drunk, only my mouth wouldnt move fast enough. my tongue was drunk.
this girl said that means im drunk.
i just felt happy inside. like a nice kind of melancholy.
kinds of other alcohol that i tried and dont like:
beer,
champagne,
bacardi O,
jack daniels,
tequilla,
and some blue shit. it tasted like robutussin. i HATE robutussin. i used to get the chills swallowing it as a little girl.
also, today my swallowing mechanism hurts. an excuse to just eat broth for dinner? i think so :)
i know its because im getting sick. my immune system is real low, because i have so many mineral and vitamin deficiencies. i can feel it. but i dont care. i like it.
if i got comments on this,
that would make me happy.
i dont even know what im saying. im just so tired.
i got drunk last night.
i DONT drink.
it was amazing.
now. im always preaching about "empty calories in drinks", and whatnot. or, well, preaching to myself, anyway. but. i would so much rather drink two mikes hard lemonades, and eat NOTHING all day, and be full of only 480 calories. its less than 500, id be drunk half way through the second because it only takes me one to get drunk, and probably loose weight.
im too young to buy alcohol. i dont go to parties very often, either, so i dont know if this could even work out.
but i knew it would become an obsession. thats why i didnt want to start.
my boyfriend turns 18 in march. hehhhh.
or, wait. do you have to be 21 to buy alch?
fuck.
eh. well, whatever.
ive decided thats the best feeling in the world.
anyways. slept over a friends on the weekend- her scale said i was 117. ive been eating way too much the past couple of days and not counting, and im going crazy. only, what. ten days till school?
i bought a pair of pants that id like to fit into before then.
i can close em. my fat just hangs over.
i bet im back down to atleast 114 today, though. and im going to mega restrict from here-on-in.
i dont really care. there arent exceptions ALLOWED.
i need to do this by school.
becase.
i cant wait for it to start.
i can FAST when school comes around. finally. ive been dying to go three days without eating.
i need some more appetite suppresants, though. i need something cheap. something i can buy in like bulk. i hate having to go back to the same store and buying diet pills. i know they all look at me weird because im some young kid buying these things.
SO IF ANYONE CAN THINK OF ANYTHING LIKE ^, lemme know.
in other news,
i really want to get drunk. again.
this is bad.
i also miss my boyfriend. i missed him when i was drunk, too. im not an emotional drunk, im not an angry drunk, im not a horny drunk, im not a happy drunk. i am just so mellow and content. i feel warm and calm, and i think too much when im drunk, too. i didnt even fucking know i was drunk. i was talking myself out of being drunk, only my mouth wouldnt move fast enough. my tongue was drunk.
this girl said that means im drunk.
i just felt happy inside. like a nice kind of melancholy.
kinds of other alcohol that i tried and dont like:
beer,
champagne,
bacardi O,
jack daniels,
tequilla,
and some blue shit. it tasted like robutussin. i HATE robutussin. i used to get the chills swallowing it as a little girl.
also, today my swallowing mechanism hurts. an excuse to just eat broth for dinner? i think so :)
i know its because im getting sick. my immune system is real low, because i have so many mineral and vitamin deficiencies. i can feel it. but i dont care. i like it.
if i got comments on this,
that would make me happy.
i dont even know what im saying. im just so tired.